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Secondary education

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Original poster

tutor claims my dd damaged his sofa

95 replies

noideawhy · 05/12/2013 22:01

nc for this

My 16 yo dd waited 30 min in this tutor sitting room whilst my ds had his lesson.
Tutor sent me an email today stating that she damaged his sofa with red lipstick by scribbling on it and also on some paperwork he left in that room. That he noticed it on Sunday.

I sent him letter canceling further lessons and asking for 2 quotes for clean/repair.
My dd was in tears after reading his letter because she really liked this tutor and says she wouldn't do that as he helped her a lot in few weeks she was going there.
I can't prove either he is right or wrong.

I've found this tutor through online search tool and was hoping to use him for many months to come. Not cheap at 45 pounds per 60 min.
No idea what else I can do. He sad that she had caused "criminal damage and writing such a nasty and extremely hurtful note to me"

He claims she wrote - 'I h 8 u'

I have no reason not to believe her that she wouldn't do that as she praised him for his style of teaching.

I have lesson for the future myself - never leave kids unattended, anywhere!

I am not sure what others would do in my shoes.

OP posts:
Original poster
noideawhy · 05/12/2013 23:22

I am hoping that lawyers in that Employee assistance program will help me with some sensible steps of action.

OP posts:
Mrswellyboot · 05/12/2013 23:25

Good luck op. try not to worry and get a good nights sleep. I think it will be sorted easily and he sounds like a chancer.

longingforsomesleep · 05/12/2013 23:25

But he can threaten all he likes - he has absolutely NO way of proving you dd caused the damage. But I can appreciate how intimidating and unsettling this would be.

Hopefully your employee assistance people can suggest a suitable, legally watertight response for you to send him which, as far as you are concerned, closes the matter down so you can then ignore any future communications from him.

starofbethlehemfishmummy · 05/12/2013 23:25

I might be tempted to send him an email saying that all contact should be in writing. And ideally through a solicitor.

Original poster
noideawhy · 05/12/2013 23:27

thanks for your kind words!

I am shaking here, long week at work 7 not enough sleep, I am LP and a foreigner too :)

easy target!

OP posts:
Upcycled · 05/12/2013 23:32

Don't pay OP.
He can claim it against his insurance company.

Sickandsad · 05/12/2013 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Londinium · 05/12/2013 23:43

£45 ? Is this A Level? Where is this? Must be London as if so, sadly is the going rate.

Original poster
noideawhy · 05/12/2013 23:43

I've found him on www.thetutorpages.com/

I had not taken any references about him.
He says on his page he can provide them but site hasn't got anywhere for parents to provide feedback.
He has CRB & PGCE qualifications.
My daughter really liked his teaching style so in that respect it is a great shame.

I will ask legal if Ishould report it to the police anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
noideawhy · 05/12/2013 23:45

yes, London, it is for gcse but he teaches A levels too for each maths, physics and chemistry & that attracted me
also further maths A levels

she so far only used her time for maths questions

OP posts:
longingforsomesleep · 05/12/2013 23:52

I used First Tutors to find an A level maths tutor for ds. They asked for feedback after the first session and each tutor on their website has feedback comments. We're London and he charges £25 per hour. So far ds is very happy with him.

Original poster
noideawhy · 06/12/2013 00:01

thanks longingforsomesleep - I had a look at that website (no, this tutor isn't on it :) )
bigger choice of tutors!

OP posts:
crazymum53 · 06/12/2013 12:04

Some tutor agencies ask for references and interview tutors before advertising and others don't. I understand that "the tutorpages" are in the process of changing so that references are now taken for new tutors.

Am not sure whether references would pick this up though. Usually students wait in the car for their lessons or if a sibling or parent would sit quietly in the corner of the tutorial room reading a book. It is quite unusual for tutors to offer a waiting room.

Beccadugs · 06/12/2013 12:15

What a horrible chancer OP.

This is why I ask students to wait with their parents in the car. Or on the odd occasion they arrive early with no parent (not encouraged!!) I put a dining chair in the hall.

If you let a child wait alone in your living room (especially more than one, not at the same time) then you open yourself up for whatever. Not saying your DD did anything, but really think the tutor hasn't got a leg to stand on!!

Also, I advertise through first tutors had to give two reference before my profile went live. I think this works really well as my tutees can feel confident I'm not a total weirdo!!

Original poster
noideawhy · 06/12/2013 12:26

I trust people easily. My kids are with singing tutor and always go together waiting for each other for 30 min each in a spare room. She has been teaching them for the last 8 years and I never had any complaints from her.

I guess this thread may be a lesson for others (too late for me!) not to let kids wait at their tutors.

My daughter came downstairs to me last night in tears and frightened that he may report her to the police. This isn't what you want your child to be going through! Ever!

OP posts:
PeterParkerSays · 06/12/2013 12:38

Please show your daughter that you support her. Tell her that you're going to tell him to contact the police because you know that your DD doesn't won a red lipstick. Show that you believe her and not him.

Original poster
noideawhy · 06/12/2013 12:43

Employee assistance lawyer said to either negotiate or get police involved.
She advised to negotiate to avoid stressful situation for my daughter. To call him and to be very calm etc. (I don't do "calm" well!)

If we were going to involve police she may be interviewed by the police, I have right to be there and they may offer presence of a solicitor.

For it to be called criminal damage they said it has to be proven that she did it intentionally.

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 06/12/2013 12:49

Personally I think I would call him and say that you spoke to your daughter she said she didn't do it and that she does not have any red lipstick so it was obviously somebody else . If he persists in accusing her then let him call the police ,I doubt they will be interested TBH.

lottieandmia · 06/12/2013 13:02

Gosh what a bizarre thing to happen. He doesn't sound normal at all. I agree with Floral.

Original poster
noideawhy · 06/12/2013 13:10

I spoke to my ex (dd's father) and he agrees with Floralnomad and lottieandmia. I am now agreeing with you guys.

Beccadugs - do tutors get/have to have extra content insurance when they teach in their own homes?

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 06/12/2013 13:21

I have met dozens of children of that age (16) that would swear blind and cry that they didn't do it.

I would be very non committal with her and check her bag Wink

Please note I am not calling your daughter a liar, I am saying that even at 16 they make ridiculous mistakes and would do anything to not fess up.

Original poster
noideawhy · 06/12/2013 13:23

I know LaurieFairyCake what you are saying.

However she really liked that tutor and his style of teaching and has no reason for cursing him as his lessons helped her to get better marks in her mocks.

OP posts:
TheCrackFox · 06/12/2013 13:24

He does sound slightly unhinged but as LaurueFairyCake stated I would check her bag and also tell her he had concealed CCTV in the room.

Floggingmolly · 06/12/2013 13:27

But you've asked him to get a quote for cleaning the sofa!! He assumes, reasonably enough, that you accept it was your dd's fault.
Why else would anyone accept responsibility for the cleaning? Confused

Floralnomad · 06/12/2013 13:36

The OP can say that she sent the letter before speaking to her dd and that when she did speak to her she was adamant that she hadn't done it , the man is obviously bonkers anyway as he could have just accepted the offer to get the sofa cleaned but instead started going on about involving the police .

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