Private or state secondary education? - North London

[plutow]

My daughter was at a prep school between the ages of 7 and 9 but we found that we weren't happy with the social impact on her! She became obsessed with money and things... and her relationship with other girls was complex and required lots of support from me at home. We were so grateful to her previous state primary school to give her her place back in her old class, where in the first week she was saying how she 'fits in' again and she's 'back with all her friends'. There has been an immediate change in her - she no longer talks about possessions (and how many American Girl dolls she needs), instead she talks happily about her friends.

So, now we are wondering whether we should keep her in state education (in North London - Highgate? Muswell Hill? Crouch End?) or if we can find a private school (Hampstead?) which is a bit more down to earth! Does such a thing even exist??

I have one year to figure this dilemma out... Any help appreciated.

You've probably missed most of this year's round of secondary school open days, but the obvious schools to look at in the areas you mention are

Fortismere (mixed)
Alexandra Palace School (mixed)
Highgate Wood )mixed)
Hornsey (girls)
Parliament Hill (girls')

Personally if you can get into some of those (particularly F, APS or PHS), then I see no point in paying, but obviously others will disagree. You need to go and look, and decide what is important to you.

Well done for taking your daughter out of a school where she didn't fit in!
I hope someone with experience in your area can come up with suggestions on schools that share your values, but I wanted to give you my experience.

DS goes to a well respected prep school. There are plenty of very rich people, there are also people like us who need to save for the fees and think about what we spend. I have found that the ethos of the school is to instil a caring attitude towards others, the kids are all nice. I have had a child or two that talk about money, but you find that in state schools as well. What I am very proud of is that DS has our values as a family and couldn't care less about what other people have. It's all about inner confidence in my opinion.

Isn't north bridge senior bit more down to earth ?

Camden Girls? Dame Alice Owen's?

There are spoilt monsters in every sector of schooling. You and DD just got unlucky with her peer group. My DS had a group in his year who were and are naseating little brats. He had no interest in any of them. Have a look at all of your options and bear in mind, senior schools are much bigger places and your DD will find like-minded friends wherever she goes. Well done in raising a child with strong values.

Highgate Wood sounds great from my friends' experiences. I'd be happy to send mine there if we lived that way.
BTW complete nosiness but was your daughter at a school beginning with C? My friends say something v similar about their experience.

Hi Farewelltoarms - the school didn't start with a C... it was a B... This is I suppose what worries me now about private education - whilst the education is very strong the social education is too skewed. But of course this could go horribly wrong at state school and my daughter could end up hanging out with the wrong crowd and it would all go too far the other way! I would love to get the balance right somehow..

i have a daughter at north bridge and it's pretty normal - whatever that is! she went to a state primary, most of her friends seem to come from local-ish state schools, i was also looking for something down to earth and i feel it is.