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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Moving schools in year 9 are we doing the right thing

22 replies

Luckye · 09/10/2013 14:21

Dd not been happy at her secondary school since she started so we have decided to move her to a school that we hope she will be happier in. I'm just scared about how she will cope with the upheaval. Does anyone have experience please. Just stressing out that we will end up making things worse for her.

OP posts:

One4TheRd · 10/10/2013 21:59

I understand that feeling completely! We are thinking about moving DD who has just gone into Y8. She had an awful end to Y7 and after a change of form is still feeling unhappy. I am interested to find out any other experiences. Is it better the devil you know???

rosesandlillies · 10/10/2013 22:42

We made the change for DS at start of y9 after a Ricky 2 years, best thing we did he jus didnt suit the first school, he wasn't getting the best out of it and they weren't getti the best out if him. Y9 felt to me like te last chan to change over so thy there can be a year settling in before options and GCSE starts. I think as a parent you know when something isn't right, he is a much much happier boy now and grades are going up rather than down .... My biggest fear if not changing was living with the 'what if' ....

rosesandlillies · 10/10/2013 22:43

God sorry for all the typos! Blame it in my iPhone! And good luck x

Sparklingbrook · 10/10/2013 22:46

We moved DS1 at the end of Year 8. It was the best thing we could have done for him.

NotScared · 10/10/2013 22:46

DS1 moved at the beginning of year 8. It's probably easier that she isn't happy in her old school tbh? He loved his former one but soon settled into the new one, is now in year 11. We only moved dss because of house move. DS2 was in primary and never really settled until the last year but is so happy now. I felt guilty but it was the right thing to do in the end.

Best wishes to you all.

5madthings · 10/10/2013 22:48

I moved my ds1 who was in year nine at this time last year. It was def the right decision. He started the new school after October half term and was happier straight away, he was settled in time to make his GCSE options etc.

Almost a year later and he is doing brilliantly, in top sets, predicted a grades but more importantly he is happy and enjoying school :)

Mutteroo · 10/10/2013 23:40

We moved DD half way through year nine & it was the right choice to move her even though we made the wrong choice with the new school.

If you feel you have explored all the avenues for keeping your child at a school, then moving may be the best option? DD is now 20 & we asked her last year if she still believed we made the right decision in changing schools & she said definitely!

One4TheRd · 12/10/2013 14:26

It is reassuring to hear all of these positive stories. We went to visit a school yesterday that has a space and DD is already excited by the thought of going.

It isn't a school I would have put on my list and the fact that it is undersubscribed worries me a bit, but it's been an academy for 3 years now and has massively improved from the school I remember it being 10years ago! We all really liked it. They are happy for her to start after half term and she is so unhappy where she is, she would probably start on Monday!!!

I still have a " sick to my stomach" feeling about her starting a new school in Y8 but she is very positive. I just hope the jump from an all girls school to a mixed one won't be too distracting for her!

It's just so sad that a child can be so unhappy at a school that they can walk away from it and not even want to look back!

roisin · 12/10/2013 14:33

ds2 has moved schools this year, not because he was unhappy, but because we moved house. This was towards the end of yr9 and he's settled really well.

We sent the school loads of info - at their request - old school reports, CATs results, SATs, etc. Because sometimes it takes ages to get the stuff from the previous school. We also liaised closely with them about transition and he went for a visit.

He's been appropriately placed in sets and it all seems to be going very well.

Don't believe all the horror stories you hear about children moving school at this age: it doesn't have to be a nightmare!

marriedinwhiteisback · 13/10/2013 22:19

We moved dd at the end of Y8. Two awful years. Previously brilliant school under new leadership. Behaviour was dreadful, Head was poor and disingenuous. Within the first four weeks at the new school we had our happy daughter back. Best thing we ever did - not least because the old school has since had a couple of declining years in relation to GCSE results.

It honestly was the best thing we ever did and my only regret is not moving her at the end of Yr 7. If you know in your heart it's wrong for your child then change it.

Sparklingbrook · 13/10/2013 22:25

I think I was shocked because I just expected DS1 to like the school-he went up to it with his friends. But he hated it from Day One-he even hated the transfer day. Academically no problems but everything else was a disaster and it got to the point I couldn't see him like that any more.

Old one was 1/2 a mile away, the new one 12 miles away by school bus that we don't get for free. But it was so worth it.

AugustRose · 13/10/2013 22:27

We moved our son at the end of year 9 for many reasons and I was very worried about he timing, not the best time as options had already been chosen. BUT, he settled in really well and it is a much better school and I wish we had sent him there first. He is just starting his a-levels now and DD1 has just started the same school.

If your DD is excited at looking at other schools it sounds like it is definitely the right move. I hope it all goes well for her and you.

littleoaktree · 13/10/2013 22:39

My dc are too young as yet but my dm moved me when I was at the end of year 9. Best thing she ever did - I hated the old school, was bullied, bored and miserable. The new school was a huge step up in terms of work required but so much better and I ended up with an Oxbridge degree - unlikely I think if I'd stayed at the first school. Also I was so much happier and more confident in myself in the new school with supportive teachers.

marriedinwhiteisback · 13/10/2013 22:53

Exactly sparkling. DD used to have a five minute bus ride. She now has to be driven to the school bus stop (about a mile) for 7.35. It's just under 20 miles there and the same at the end of the day so not home until 4.45/5ish. But it has been so worth it. The only thing I would say is that I'm not sure she would have coped with the travelling and the longer day in Yr 7.

Funny how things work out.

Sparklingbrook · 13/10/2013 23:04

It is strange married. DS2 is starting at the original school next year. I hope I am doing the right thing-he is a totally different child to DS1.

marriedinwhiteisback · 13/10/2013 23:11

Oh they are indeed all different. Mine went to the same primary for one year. It was an excellent primary but it was wrong for DS; right for DD. DS left at 8 and had 10 happy years at the next school; DD had a secondary disaster. Sometimes it doesn't matter how much thought you give it; it all goes wrong - but it's the putting it right for them that matters. It's all a compromise sometimes. We declined our 1st choice because dd was offered it from the reserve list and we thought this might mean she would struggle, we went for the 2nd choice (the local dream school), the third choice we declined. She ended up at our 4th choice and backstop and it has been brilliant (although tbf it was only 4th because it is in such a difficult location and after school clubs mean a 40 mile round trip).

5madthings · 13/10/2013 23:14

We also have to pay for the bus... Ds2 jsit started at the same school so that's two bus fares, almost £1000 a year! But I knew the school ds1 origionally started at would not be a good fit for ds2. He is coping fine with the bus journey and loving high school well apart from'the homework

Original poster

Luckye · 17/10/2013 09:26

Wow thankyou for all your replies! It makes me feel so much better hearing your positive stories. It's dds last day at old school today, she starts new one after half term. We are both feeling very nervous, but like you sparkling I just can't sit by and see her like this any more ie verging on depressed.

OP posts:

rachy2909 · 28/01/2015 12:00

My son is nearly 14 and was suffering bullying and pressure to do drugs at school which he did not want to. he was off school for 6 weeks and cut himself off from all his real friends. He decided to start a new school wad only option, hes just started this week he's in year 9 and he hates it as he knows nobody and nobody speaks to him. i no he hasn't given it enuf time but he is desperately unhappy and has tried to run away 3 times since monday he did get away from school but they caught him n brought him back. Its so out of character he's a lovely lad n not streetwise. Had to stay up all nite so he cudnt run away. i am beside myself at how sad n anxious he is. The Ewo and teacher came out and took him into school today but i feel am going to have the same situation tonight n just dont know how to help him im at my wits end! any advice xx

ToffeeCaramel · 28/01/2015 19:49

Sounds really stressful rachy. Can you ask the new school what support they can provide for him? Might be worth starting a new thread about it to get more replies in case your post gets missed. I hope things improve for you and your son.

Cafeconleche · 28/01/2015 21:19

My DS changed schools last October in Year 9 when we moved back to London. I was really worried (many, many sleepless nights ) about how he would fit in with groups of friends who had been together for over 2 years, a completely different curriculum from the one he was used to, etc, but he has absolutely thrived. His new school has been amazingly helpful and he's taken to it like a duck to water. I really believe it's the best year in which to do an in-year secondary move - no pressure yet with GCSEs, lots of fun subjects and after school activities. We'd fully expected it to take him at least a term before he found his feet - and warned him it might be difficult at times, but just to go with the flow etc etc - but I can honestly say that he's never looked back. As long as the new school is fully on board with everything I'm sure your DD will thrive - and you'll wonder why you didn't make the move sooner. I also think it's worth getting involved with the parents' association and getting to know some of the other parents - this has really helped us as a family, and has given us short-cuts re access to the teachers, school politics etc - as well as making all of us feel part of the school community. Do come back and let us know how your DD gets on.

fleecyjumper · 28/01/2015 21:55

My son moved schools after the first term of year 10 and I wish we had done it in year 9 before he started GCSEs but, even so, it's been the best thing ever. He is a changed person, has lots of friends and is so happy. His new school is a school neither of us would ever have chosen when he was applying for secondary school.

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