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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Parent of year 7

19 replies

goinggoinggone123 · 26/09/2013 10:11

Hi younger ds has just started year 7.
His older sister when she started at her school (ds didn't pass entrance exam to get into the same school) the head and the parents association went out of their way to introduce the year 7 parents not only to other year 7 parents but to other parents in the school through social events where parents and children were invited.
Although day to day most parents do not see or speak to other parents it is always good to know telephone numbers and other parents just to know you have support if you want to query anything or you have any problems or just for a chat.
Although I pick him up from school each day I have not met anyone who has a child in year 7 and after the experience with dd's school I am feeling quite isolated. Would love to hear from anyone with child in year 7 who goes to senior school near Elstree.

OP posts:

BackforGood · 27/09/2013 18:29

I think that's a VERY unusual experience.
I have dc in 2 diff secondary schools, and lots of family and friends with dc in other schools and have never heard of a school introducing parents of Yr7 children to each other.

If you are specifically looking to meet other parents from a particular school though, you'd be better reposting with the name in the title.

MrsDavidBowie · 27/09/2013 18:35

I think you're quite unusual picking up a child in year 7!
Our school do a social evening early in the term for yr 7 parents, while the girls have a disco.

But nothing else.
Most people work...haven't got the time to socialise with other parents.
I never knew most of dd's friends' parents because I never collected her if she went to their houses for tea...she would come home on the bus or walk.

Do you have any friends from primary at the same school?

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 27/09/2013 19:08

I think grammar schools do this a bit more, as the DC can come from a huge variety of primary schools, whereas the local state school will assume you'll know parents from your primary school. Some PTAs will do an icebreaker disco or something that DC and parents are invited to, but I know none of DS's friends' parents and that seems to be pretty common.

ErrolTheDragon · 27/09/2013 19:19

DDs school did an intro evening - part school info, part a chance to meet parents but there was a mix of parents who knew each other from primaries and ones like me who didn't so it wasn't that great as mixer. Then they did a quiz night .... DDs in yr 10 and I really only know one set of parents reasonably (friend who'd come for birthday sleepover and we'd bumped into them randomly a couple of times). Its really not the same as primary, very few parents are at the school gates.

daisychicken · 27/09/2013 19:23

DS1 started secondary this September, he is one of 2 from his primary school to go to this particular school and I only know that other parent. We've had no communication from school at all! He cycles to and from school and I know absolutely nothing nor any of the other parents! It's really weird compared to primary school but I do wonder if that's in DS1's favour as he's suddenly "grown up", he appears to be getting on well, coping with homework, hasn't lost anything so I'm not worrying and I know I'll get to see teachers as the first parents evening which should be soon.

Ladymuck · 27/09/2013 19:26

More common in independent schools. We had 2 get togethers for all the parents in ds1's class before they started year 7 as well as a school organised meet n mingle for the whole year group. Class contact lists are sent out by PTA reps though I think that the details are collated by the reps, and there is usually a coffee morning each term as well as PTA events. Mainly we end up seeing each other at touch lines though.

breadandbutterfly · 27/09/2013 20:02

We live near Elstree and have a dd in year 7. Her school did nothing to introduce parents apart from one evening social but I have older dd in year 9 and knew this so I organised a get-together for girls and parents from dd2's form - which is nice, as I know some of the parents now (dd2 only one from her primary school there).

I agree with others - don't think most parents at secondary level socialise. But if you wish to, you'll have to be proactive - chat to people, join PTA (always a good one) or go to PTA events etc. I think other parents will welcome it if you do organise stuff - not all as said above - many too busy working etc - but enough (about half of dd2's class came to the get togethers I organised over the summer).

mumslife · 27/09/2013 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MILLYMOLLYMANDYMAX · 29/09/2013 02:21

I drop off and collect him because we live miles from the school, our local catchment area schools are 8+ miles away and there is no bus service, we live down an unlit unpavemented potholed road. The Evening Standard described our area as "not for the none car driver". I will be dropping and collecting both ds and dd until they learn to drive.

I work but I always am available to pick up and collect as there is no way I can afford the £16 taxi fare each way for him to get to and from school. The roads are too dangerous around our house to cycle or walk on.
Our next door neighbours boys go to a different school but even tho they are in year 10 and 12, neighbour drops them at a sitters house in the morning before work and sitter drives them home after school.

All of you have said that your schools did do something to introduce the parents but this school did nothing.
Yes I did enquire about PTA but no one seems to know whether the school even has one.

My problem is my sons handwriting is so shocking we cannot read what he has written. from his weekly planner to his homework it would be nice to just have some clue as to what he has written.
We are in the process of writing to the school about this as it has been flagged by his previous school as a possible sign of a form of dyslexia.

There are an awful lot of people collecting at the school gate but it is trying to find the ones that are year 7 parents and who are in ds classes that appears to be the difficulty. Maybe I am an over zealous parent but I would like to get to know the parents of my sons friends before he goes over to their houses, equally I would not be happy picking up a random child before I knew the mother/father and was sure they knew where we lived. Maybe I am just a little too protective to let my child go to someones house before I had at least had a chat to the parents or their telephone number etc

SalaciousCrumb · 29/09/2013 06:34

There is a facebook group for year 7 parents for my ds's school. If you are on facebook it may be worth searching your ds's school to see if there is something.

Eastpoint · 29/09/2013 06:40

My DCs' schools hold welcome suppers/drinks for parents. I think it's really handy to know the other parents, when my dd is invited to a party I want to check there are going to be adults in the house & it's easier if I've met them.

Beauchamp · 29/09/2013 06:41

My DS's school didn't attempt to introduce parents to each other. However almost all the children come from feeder schools.

I do a pick up each day too.

I think there comes a time though when children have to be allowed to socialize with each other without it being a playdate. I am not sure what I would do when DS gets invited over to the house of a new friend. He has a phone so maybe id just ask for an address and give him a note with my name and number for the friends parents??
When he is 15 though,I wouldn't even do that. Nor at 14 probably.

isitsnowingyet · 29/09/2013 06:46

Milliemollie I don't think you're overprotective at all. My sons' school does have a social evening in the first term for year 7 parents where we all got to meet each other (although i didn't exchange phone numbers).We also get to meet at the parents' evenings where I have ended up chatting to the same folk in various lines as we wait to speak to teachers. As for your sons handwriting, you need to know what homework he's being set (Can he read his own writing?) and maybe should flag it up with his form teacher.

MILLYMOLLYMANDYMAX · 29/09/2013 10:46

Isitsnowingyet he cannot read his own handwriting. I am going to flag it up with the school. I was clearing out a box recently and I found a story he had written in year 3. I should make it clear that I had written the story and he had copied the letters. The year 3 teacher told me it was the "law"he had to write this story. The story was illegible, there is no difference between his writing then and now despite hours and hours of handwriting practice. I was talking to a friend who's son has dysgraphia and she was mentioning some indicators and it did set off alarm bells with me. The one thing she had mentioned was the fact that people with dysgraphia find it difficult to hold a pen and children never draw anything. I have kept lots of the ds and dd's drawings and paintings in a box and went through them yesterday only to find apart from pictures he had painted and others where he had stuck things on a picture there were no freehand drawings.

Beauchamp · 29/09/2013 12:29

DS has dysgraphia and his pen grip is odd, his writing is nearly illegible and he still draws stick men ( and hates doing it). Thank God all the primary school making learning accessible is over - so hopefully he will never have to design another poster rather than write what he knows!

Other symptoms are difficulty using a knife and pain in his hand and wrist when writing.

The diagnosis, when it came, was both a relief and depressing because its a life long disability.

Lottie4 · 29/09/2013 14:49

Not saying there's anything wrong with it, but there's no way my daughter would let me take her to school or if we had to travel she'd be dropped off around the corner. Putting that aside, the Parents Association did have a couple of evening events last year. We didn't go as we know quite a lot of parents locally anyway. There were a few joint homework projects the first term, so parents did ask for telephone numbers so they could arrange a suitable time but nothing has come of that friendship wise for us.

If your son doesn't know many from primary school, it might be worth suggesting he exchanges telephone numbers with boys he feels are becoming friends, so they can talk over any homework problems etc.

One thing I found interesting was when six girls had to get together to do a homework project. We were the only family who volunteered to have them at our house, but then it turned out I needed to be away, leaving my husband in charge. Three girls knew us already, so that was fine. We asked our daughter to make it clear to the other girls (and to pass onto their families) that it would only be her Dad around. One parent did ask for details of our address and telephone number, but the other two didn't seem to care. All girls had arranged to meet outside the school so they could then walk around to our house, so these other two families didn't even know our address.

BackforGood · 29/09/2013 15:01

Why would it make a difference to them (the parents) that you weren't in the house when 6 pupils were doing a homework project together, and your dh was there if they needed an adult ? .

Tuhlulah · 30/09/2013 16:23

Going,

when you stand around waiting for the children to come out, why don't you just say hello to a couple of the other parents? Just ask 'are you here picking up someone in Year 7?' It's a start. And you can ask someone new every pick up.
After all, they're probably thinking the same thing as you are.

Erebus · 30/09/2013 19:19

The only way I'd get to meet other Y7 parents was via the tried and tested route of joining the PTA.

Our school has no other parent 'socials' whatsoever. There are 6 feeder schools and yes, a lot of the parents who choose to keep in touch do so for themselves, post primary, but otherwise, no.

I think a lot of the school that do do something towards it are private. I'm not sure state schools are even allowed to give out other parents' details without express permission?

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