Thank you to all of you for your replies, it is very extreme behaviour. She is a very intelligent girl who can also be very manipulative when it suits her.
She has spent the last 2 years at primary with a teacher who has done nothing for her self confidence at all, but there were never issues about going to school.
She went to see the new school and loved the idea and the first day went in no problem and cam home normal time fine. Since then though it has been a screaming battle to get her into school at all. The school have been very good and tried hard to integrate her by using other pupils to assist her. She has tried going to another different school who again have tried everything, but nothing seems to work. She has started to run away from home in the mornings to avoid having to go to school.
The GP has done a referall to CAMHS, but I know from experience with my own son that CAMHS take up to or beyond a year to see children even when they are virtually suicidal!!
What do we do, I hate to see my friends go through this every day. Should they be making her go to school and stay there, should they just keep her home? It's not my DD but they are very close friends and I know the daughter very well and she can be rather spoilt sometimes!
I'm not sure about bullying as she has only been there 1 day, surely not enough time for that to even start as they are all in the same boat on their first day!! She says the teachers are mean to her and shout at her when she asks for help, the other pupils won't talk to her and just ignore her, the teachers shout at her and tell her to 'just get on with it' and the headmaster is going to kill her! It is a very good school with an excellent reputation so how much of this do we believe?????