Join in here if your PFB is off to secondary school in September or if you have any advice for thew newbies

[ChippyMinton]

DS is obviously taking it all in his stride and I am quietly fretting investigating the practicalities of high school life. Anyone want to join me?

DD1 is in Y9, not inherently very organised, loses confidence easily, but wants to do well.
For a child like mine, my tips:

• separate pencil case for school / home so the school one stays in the school bag and doesn't get forgotten
• copies of the timetable up at home somewhere where you can see it
• check school bag every day until you are confident it is getting packed correctly
• don't step back too quickly if your DD is like mine. She needed my support to remember things etc and help with homework. I have been able to step back much more this year, but at just 11 she wasn't ready earlier.

I had eldest of last year and youngest going this year.

Velcro shoes - depends on the school and the shoe - my son wanted velcro ones (he is a lazy boy) and he has been fine in them - but I think it depends on the style - he takes a 7/8 and insists they wouldn't make them in that size if he wasn't meant to wear them. Having said that, his school is not particulary fashion concious and they are fairl strict on uniform.

He has a messenger style bag as it matched his blazer :o but most have back packs - depends on how far and how much they are carrying - if a back pack i'd get one with a wide opening for folders etc.

It's all been pretty painless so far but I do the school run by car as the public transport is limited to 1 bus each way and there would be over a mile walk to the bus-stop. it is actually less hassle for me to take them on the way to work and home.

Something I'm glad we did in the Summer holidays before my elder dd went, was go for lots of walks / bike rides around the area between school and home. dd walks 1.5miles to school each day, and there are several routes she can use, depending on which friend she is walking with. From the start, she was comfortable knowing that if she turned up road A (because the others were going that way), that was fine, because she could cut through the park and drop down onto the main route afterwards, or, if she set out on road B, following another friend's route, then again, that was fine as she could walk down the path at the end of that cu-de-sac and be back 'on route' easily. I guess this is the equivalent of practising the bus/train route, but helped her a lot, as no-one else seemed to walk directly along what would be the most obvious main road route, but she was comfortable going lots of different ways, so didn't have to walk home on her own at all.

This is all very useful. We are moving back to the UK in July and DD1 is starting year 7 in September. Rather out of touch as to what secondary school students like/dislike in the UK, despite being a secondary school teacher! We won't be able to do any dry runs of the route at school as she will be getting the school bus and she will miss the taster day in June when they get to try it out. Oh well, at least I have friends with older DDs, in the same school, who can advise in bags, shoes etc.

My daughter started secondary school last September. She'd been bored at primary school and was more than ready to move on. She admitted to being a little nervous the first morning, but was adamant she was going to enjoy herself. I know alot worry about getting lost and bullying. My daughter did get lost quite a lot in the first 2/3 weeks, but there was always someone in the corridor to help, some of the older ones volunteered to take her to where she should be. There have been no bullying issues at all.

As for school uniform, get anything you want from the school school by mid July. If you wait until August, you'll be lucky to get it if they are like ours. Items that can be bought from places like M&S you can leave if you want. My daughter is fairly small so couldn't get a couple of items of school kit in the school shop. Had a word with the school, who were really relaxed about it and told me what would be okay with them instead.

She is now on her third bag. They have to carry a very heavy bag, so I'd get the strongest one you can afford (her present bag from Animal has lasted the longest) and I'd go for a backpack. My daughter wanted a fasionable bag when she first started, but soon realised a backpack was the best option.

She does wear Velco shoes (as do some of the other girls). Her feet are so small and an unusual shape so she has no option. I asked my daughter is she would wear a coat for school when it was cold, she said yes if it was black and has happily worn a coat I got from the Factory School. At the moment there doesn't seem to be any pressure from others over fashion.

As for PE kit, my daughter isn't very sporty and doesn't perspire that. she has instructions to bring it home if she knows it's dirty and it always comes home at the end of half term anyway.

She can carry her phone around all day (switched off in lessons), but it's recommended to hand in for PE.

She spends a lot of time on homework - about 3 hours a night but that's because she chooses to. Her friend has a friend who spends the same amount of time, but another one who limits it to 30 mins, so up to them how much effort they put in.

The worst being about this year has been friendship issues. All her old friends have had them. She had a few rough weeks when she was falling out with friends. She was one of the first to go through this and I was upset thinking it was her, she'd have no friends, but a lot of them have gone through this.

As Casey said, it's good to allow extra time for them the first couple of weeks, listening to them talk about their day, whats worrying them, helping them getting themselves organized, making sure they have time and materials for homework, as there's so much to think about initially.

I think I was more uptight that my daughter was about her moving on, so try not to let that show. Treat it was something exciting where they can make new friends in time, learn new things, perhaps have the option of doing a club they really enjoy.

I've done 9 years so far of secondary, with DD3 starting in September so am a old hand . Older sisters are quite handy to have to advise on what to do/not do and have/not have, so as not to be embarrassed by little sisters .

Read the school website/look at the calendar EVERY DAY, don't rely on the DC being told (or remembering to tell you) or passing on letters. Learned this the hard way when DD2 missed out on an activity she'd have loved to do, because the previous year she hadn't done a specific activity which her totally rubbish tutor hadn't got round to telling them was available.

A lot of Y7 homework is "making a poster about..." and "colour in to show..." type homework, so a decent set of felt pens (to keep at home) is good. Also stock up on sticky backed plastic if you see it in the shops now, for the last minute "I've got to find pictures of stuff and cover this book by first lesson tomorrow" panics.

Don't buy a coat till October at the earliest, in case "no-one" wears coats (DD1 survived 5 years in school uniform + scarf, then hit own clothes 6th form, and discovered that coats do keep you warm and dry ). Similarly with bags/pencil cases, unless you know what is cool, make do with old/cheap ones till the DC have worked out what's acceptable.

My DS stated in September. Here are my observations:

I spent the first term checking his planner and making sure he did his homework and handed it in on the right day. He was very overwhelmed by the amount he got. After the first half term I said he had to take responsibility for sorting out his school bag each day and ensuring his homework was done. This has worked really well and he just gets on with it.

I watched beforehand what the other children used for school bags (adidas messenger bags) and school shoes (Kickers) and got him those, which he was pleased with. My problem is he has just started doing the big knot thing with his tie, which I think looks really silly, but all the kids do it (I did it when I was in high school, but have not told him that!!), this has caused a couple of uniform detentions, but it is between him and the school and I am not going to nag him about it anymore.

His friendships have completely changed and he now has a big group of mates, when he had a small group of best friends. It is hard keeping up with who he is close to, and of course I know nothing about their parents and families. I find that a bit sad.

Lastly, girls. He was never interested before and now he has had two girlfriends, one for two weeks and one for three days. It is all very innocent, but I think he is too young. It does feel like I am losing him a bit.

I hope this helps.

well, I just dropped No2 son of for his first induction afternoon. all by himself :( This is scotland so the other kids are mainly coming from the catchment schools so all came up together in their groups and he is the only one from his school. We also start High school a year later up here - roughly equivalent to English year 8 - kids will be 11 and a half at the youngest and up to over 12 and a half. No2 son will be 12 in August but is about 5 foot 5 - he looked so big and grown up but vulnerable and was chewing his nails as I left. I hope he's had a good afternoon.

Soon -- dd is also the only one from her school going up, and is very nervy about it. Induction isn't till July so she has lots of time to fret!

I'm in.
I have a pfb starting in September and I am ridiculously worried. She's been HE'd for the last 3 years and although I'm excited for her, I could burst into tears every time I think about it. Nominates self for get a grip award 2013.

I am sure they will all be fine - he seems to have enjoyed himself, lots of chatter with his brother and brother's friend in the car on the way home about the teachers he got today - bit confused about his class - No1 son has two, a registration class and a practical class. No2 son seems to have run it all together and says there is only one class. He might be right but no-one else thinks so! he's looking forward to going back on Thursday so that's the main thing.

My PFB starts in September too. I know that we buy the uniform through the primary school, and dd has an induction day in July. That's it though. She'll be going on a school bus with almost her entire class from yr6 so I'm not too worried about the transport part.

Can I join?

DS1 starts YR7 in September - So far, apart from a request for us to confirm his place at the school, we have heard nothing!

This is a great post. Learning a lot pls keep them coming. Any tips on taking train/tube in London?

Ooh, lots more folk! Welcome
Thanks for all the tips so far, keep them coming.
I like the idea about starting off with old stuff and buying new cool stuff as needed.

Shaded - are you getting an Oyster Zip card? DS can't decide whether to keep his long-ish hair or have a sharp new style, so I won't order his photocard until he decides, as he'll be stuck with the picture for years (or until he loses it).

Chippy yep we will be getting an oyster - getting excited about it all now. Will be travelling together in the morning but occasionally he will need to take the train back on his own, a bit nervous about that.

He is the only one from his school joining this year, just hope he is joining a friendly group.

My PFB goes up this Sept too! Only 2 going to this school. Shes going from a very small school (only 12 in her year) and she is painfully shy, so am very worried about it all.
She has to get a bus morning and afternoon and just the thought of her doing practice runs fills me with dread!!
Shes got an induction day mid july and thats our first opportunity to look at uniform. Think I will get most bits then as apparently it can be hard to get hold of if you leave it too long.

If they're having school lunches, find out in good time how they pay for them.

Dinnertime tends to be much later, so it's worth sending them with a break time snack.
At Primary, my dcs eat at 12, but at secondary it's between 10past and 1/2past 1 depending on the day. that's a long stretch to go from a 7am breakfast.

Get a couple of letter tray organisers with 5 little pull out open front drawers in each, say, put on their desk or under and get them to label one for each subject (some subjects might have to share).

Then every evening they empty their books and papers back into relevant tray and repack their bags with the next day's subjects.

Be sure to get them in the habit of packing bag the night before.

Great tips from TheWave. Any more?

DS just leaves his notebooks in his school bag all the time. Not that heavy & no textbooks. Works for us.

my son leaves his in his bag too - it is quite heavy but its the only exercise he gets :) he only carries it about school, he gets a lift there and back - if he was walking I'd make him tip it out every day. He doesn't have any text books either, no idea why it is so heavy.

Can I join in? PFB off to secondary in Sept and will have to cross town (bus + train) after years of a leisurely walk to school. O my.

You mean on the practice days in July, they have to get themselves there just as though it was the Real Thing?

I feel like an idiot for assuming they would be taken by the primary school!