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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Join in here if your PFB is off to secondary school in September or if you have any advice for thew newbies

330 replies

ChippyMinton · 12/05/2013 10:10

DS is obviously taking it all in his stride and I am quietly fretting investigating the practicalities of high school life. Anyone want to join me?

OP posts:
codswallopandchips · 22/05/2013 08:45

Signing in late...doesn't bode well, does it? I'm slightly freaking out today as PFB has gone for the first full induction day at her new high (well, it might be, if we don't get the placing request granted. sigh). She looks so young again!

It's reassuring to read these comments - I had a pretty rough time settling at Secondary, and I think I am projecting my own experiences on to her. I keep telling her to fit in, keep quiet and follow everyone else's lead Sad

soontobeslendergirl · 22/05/2013 10:10

I did that too codswallop - my son was bullied at primary so he is a placing request at high school - i told him to start off with everything done middle - i.e. tie done up neither tight or loose, and to look at what everyone else did to make sure that he didn't stand out in any way as I didn't want him being a target. He has settled in brilliantly, has made some friends and enjoys school, brilliant report and is really happy. Luckily his school don't seem to be that bad in terms of needing to be fashionable and media savvy as he is not really interested in that kind of thing. He is coming out his shell a bit now which is great. When do you hear about the placing request? I thought most areas were told by the end of April?

mankyscotslass · 22/05/2013 10:50

Still no word from his future school, poor DS1 is desperate to find out about the school summer camp that they run as a bonding exercise in August.

I just want to get the dates for the parents sessions they supposedly run in June/July - I may need time off work.

OldBeanbagz · 22/05/2013 10:59

Big stack of forms for me to fill in today. I have to return them by the end of the months but am still waiting for some info back from the school.

Is vegetarianism classed as a 'specific dietary requirement' or would that be just a dietary preference?

It's end of June before we meet her class teacher and DD goes for an Induction Day Smile

codswallopandchips · 22/05/2013 11:01

slender - we heard in April that placing request had been refused, so we're in the midst of appeal hell now. Glad to hear your DS has settled well, that's reassuring!

soontobeslendergirl · 22/05/2013 11:25

Oh dear - sorry to hear that. we were sweating about No1 son getting in last year - he was on staged intervention though for the anxiety issues caused by the bullying and was being assessed for possible aspergers so we had plenty of ammunition for the form. No2 son is going this year and apparently they had plenty of room which is surprising as it's a really good school. I think people think they wont get in so don't apply.

SherbertStraws · 22/05/2013 19:48

Can I ask what a placing request is thanks

Picturesinthefirelight · 22/05/2013 20:27

Received information in the post today about induction day and parents information evening

BUT

Dd went for an assesment today at another school. We now have to wait the outcome. We know she did really well at one part of it but not sure about the other.

Picturesinthefirelight · 22/05/2013 20:27

I think a placing request is when you live in Scotland and want to apply to a non catchment school.

soontobeslendergirl · 22/05/2013 21:44

yes, that's exactly it. in Scotland you have a catchment school that you automatically have a place in based on your address and you also have an option to apply to another school and if the have space you get a place. You are then responsible for transport and the cost of transport to get your child to and from the school.

bizzey · 23/05/2013 22:26

DC1 is yr 7 and my advice would be ..pen's... pen's... and more pens Grin

You forget how much writing and note taking goes on in lessons. I think ds was still using a pencil in yr 6 !
Through trial and error we got him a pen he liked,was comfortable with and made his writing look neat ...(no mean feat !!).....it ran out with H/W still to do .

I went to Smiths the next day to buy more ...and was faced with a wall of pens ..and could not remember which one he liked !!!

He now has loads of them in his drawer ....they run out quicker than you think !

Oh and proper PRITSTICK !!! he is always having to stick things in his books and as much as I love the pound shop I think my kids boggies have more sticking power than their glue sticks the 5 in a pack are not worth it when their wonderfully coulored in time line will not stick for tomorrow's lesson !!!

loveinthemist · 24/05/2013 20:51

Can I join you? It's very helpful reading the advice on here. My DS1 is starting Yr 7 in September. Have been impressed with the school so far (state Academy). Loads of info as well as a couple of meetings and a great open evening in October which DS1 loved. Next week they've organised an optional 'Performing Arts Day' which DS is attending. Full taster day in July followed by another meeting for parents.

Feeling a bit daunted about the impending cost of the uniform and worried that DS will lose everything. He's a bit disorganised.

He can't wait to finish Yr6 and is very ready to move on to the next stage now. Feeling excited for him.

Picturesinthefirelight · 24/05/2013 21:38

I have a very excited dd. she has been offered a place at her dream school. Big change of plans ahead.

lljkk · 25/05/2013 07:17

Frixion pens are the rage in DC's primary, yr8-DS uses pens he finds on the ground, he can barely remember to bring a pen anyway. I finally worked out where we can buy Frixion refills locally.

DS has managed on 2 pairs of trousers & 2 shirts & 2 jumpers to end of yr8, BUT he's getting bigger & smellier now, and lunchtimes mostly preoccupied with take-down rugby, so now managing better on 3 prs trousers+5 shirts. JLewis or M&S good for his uniform.

Gym kit is a pain, DS never even wore his rugby shirt, it disappeared in September Angry. I never should have put it in his PE kit until he specifically asked for it. Ditto with studs. I now sew name labels in several places all over the outside of every item of kit, to try to discourage light fingers.

Sparklingbrook · 25/05/2013 07:41

Sigh. No Secondary til Year 8 in these parts. Sad DS2 has to wait until 2014. Humph.

DS1 is in Year 9, and found going up to Secondary really tough. So much so that by the June he moved to a different one.

FiveHoursSleep · 25/05/2013 11:56

Has anyone got any 'making friends' advice for secondary school.
DD has lots of different friends at her primary school but fell out with a couple of the queen bees as she doesn't fall in line as easily as some others.
She's managed to sort it out with them but she's keen to avoid spending lots of time making friends with someone who will turn out to be controlling. Are there some early warning signs, do you think?
She will be going to a secondary school where she knows very few girls , so is hoping she will be able to make some new, good friends who are not too fussed about the popularity thing.

hardboiled · 25/05/2013 17:30

It is against Facebook rules to have an account till you are 14. Why are we parents giving in and getting our children to do something that is not allowed. DH swears DS - who is also starting sec in Sept - will not have a Facebook account till he is 14...

bruffin · 25/05/2013 17:49

The age limit is 13 not 14.

Fivehoursleep - get her to join as many clubs as possible. Dcs school have a club fair in the first week and encourage everyone to join at least 2. I would also prepare them for the fact that their friends may not stay friends. Some children get caught up in the excitement of meeting new people and forget their old friends. There is also the power struggle. They have gone from being a big fish in a small pond to a tiddler in an ocean and they want to fight their way to the top again, sometimes old friends get trodden on in the way.

lljkk · 25/05/2013 18:50

I think it's 13 actually, and within UK it's just a FB rule, we break website rules all the time (ie, I think it's hard not to be deleted by MNHQ nowadays).

I collect Internet & Facebook horror stories, by the way, if anyone wants to share theirs. Anything where a teen was horribly embarrassed by something that happened online will do nicely.

bruffin · 25/05/2013 18:59

The fb rules are because of us laws not allowing companies to collect data on 12 and unders.

hardboiled · 25/05/2013 19:00

But aren't we bringing the problem onto ourselves? If parents didn't break that rule, no one in yr7 would be on Facebook, no cyber bullying, no clashing with homework, etc. Problem solved!! Apart from the fact that I assume every 11 year old on Facebook has had to lie about their age.

Sometimes I think WE are part of the problem. Parents waiting to see what the other children use/wear before buying anything?! Jesus. I mean, what kind of message is that to a preteen? Then we complain about teenage conformism. How about teaching our children to cherish individuality and to value mates for who they are rather than the schoolbag they carry around?

bruffin · 25/05/2013 19:22

My dd has all that, 30 of her friends got together last week and nominated her for a Young Person of The Year (YOPEY) award. Having facebook hasnt stopped her being an individual.She has made some lovely friends through the internet and i have met them. Its not been entirely problem free but dd knows when to walk away and not feed anyone who wants to cause problems.

soontobeslendergirl · 25/05/2013 19:27

hardboiled, lovely sentiment and I agree, however when you have been the parent of a bullied child, you don't want them to be different, you want them to fit in so they aren't bullied anymore. Not all children have the confidence to be different.

lljkk · 25/05/2013 19:37

I don't let my U13s go on FB but I don't care if others do, either. DC primary school has its own mini version of FB (all county schools do, I think); children from reception are invited to join. They suspended whole thing due to cyber-bullying :(.

We haven't had cyber bullying, but tbh, I think it can't be worse than real life bullying which we've had huge amounts of. :(

soontobeslendergirl · 25/05/2013 20:01

I let both mine have it just before the end of P7 before going to High school as they are going to a different high school from their primary friends and it's a good way to stay in touch. No1 son has had his for about a year - he is not that interested tbh he goes on from time to time and no bullying issues. No2 son only recently go it and again he is not that interested just goes on from time to time.

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