Grammar or Independant?

[JoSavage]

DD1 and DS1 are at good independents.
DD2 has got a place at a good grammar in our local town.
I think she will do well and flourish at grammar. DP wants her to have the same 'opportunity' as the others.. and as such is pushing het rowards independent. Could get heated and I can feel I am losing the argument on a 'all children must have the same chance' technicality!
Anybody else been in this situation and if so, how did it pan out?
Thank you

Surely the best question is what school would suit her best? If that is the grammar, then how is she 'missing out on opportunity' by not attending an independent?

Does your dd have a preference?

Schmedz - who knows which would suit her best! She would be fine at either.
Both schools have good and bad points. Her speech will suffer at grammar but our finances will be healthier.. She will do more music and sport, but she will be away in the week...Both schools will take her as far academically as she can go. eatourveg, she is keen to follow big sister.. I am just not convinced. She is fairly musical and sporty. I know we are very lucky to be in this situation and I am not moaning, just wondering if anyone else has been in this situ before, and how it worked out..

Er, how will her speech suffer at grammar?

This is a genuine question, but why would her speech suffer by attending a grammar school?

Paddy, great minds think alike!

Is she under a Speech & Language therapist or something like that ? and will the grammar school not support this ?

the local nhs salt service go into all the schools around here - state and private

You think she might talk common at grammar? LOL. IME grammar kids are really quite RP.

We chose grammar over inde for ours partly on ££ considerations and partly being in a SS grammar area actually the grammar kids tend to be academically most able of all (most people would pay IF they didn't get the grammar place IYSIM). We know our kids were pretty decently bright and not over tutored so we took the grammar route and , well so far so good...

You have to send her independent IMO - otherwise it will set up a lifetime potential resentment on her part as the other two DC are at private. My brother is over 40 and still resents he was sent to an excellent state school while I got a bursary to a private school - everything that goes wrong in his life and good in mine is boiled down to the schools my parents choose. It his ruined my relationship with my brother - don't do it. The cost of private is the reason I have 2 not 3 children, I bit late I know but its not your 3rd childs fault.

Theas - it cannot possibly be talking 'common' that OP is referring to , she must be referring to some kind of speech problem her dc has ??? her speech will suffer at grammar , surely no one can be that daft!

Sorry I was joking, I couldn't make out what op was getting at really . I have no idea how grammar school vs Indie would affect access to SALT, as that has nothing to do with the school really especially at secondary level.

I don't really understand this. You can have an excellent education and pay for it, or you can have an excellent education for free. It doesn't take a genius to work out the logical decision. Your husband is being silly! I went to state grammar in Kent. When I got to university I met privately educated people for the first time. I was intimidated by their accents, clothes, confidence, polish etc for the first term. Then I realised I had been taught just as well as them, if not better, and I never looked back. Incidentally, I don't have a chip on my shoulder; some of them became and remain my very good friends, but they would support me in saying I was as well-prepared as they were for university. Go for the grammar and put the money by for your daughter's higher education - how she possibly resent you for that? I'm not sure what you mean by 'her speech' - can you elaborate for us??