Who can afford private schools in the UK?

[wjchoihk]

Hi. I am not sure if this is an appropriate question to ask here. But I have always wondered how rich you should be to send children to private schools in UK. Fees are anywhere from 3000 up to 10000 per term. Even allowing for wide gaps in income, thinking of 'avearge' UK wage of 26,000 pound, math simply don't add up for a normal life with such high fees. I also know only 7% of children go private though.

How much of private parents live on "inherited" wealth and how much on simply superior current earnings? I have my kids at SW London privates but I wouldn't be able to afford this without current int'l expat package. Some parents at my kids' schools LOOK and ARE very very rich but most of them LOOK quite down to earth. But I can't ask....

Typo for S?

happygardening I once had a conversation with a woman who had recently moved to the area and was keen to find out about local schools. It hadn't even occurred to her to look at any of the state options. Not even slightly.

I suppose if you went to private schools, your siblings did, your parents did, your grandparents did maybe state just wouldn't be on your radar and if it's not working out at one fee-paying you just look at another.

happy you can make that suggestion, of course. But in this case the conversation came about because my friend was boasting about her dd's results then asked my dd how she did. So in this case it was about exam results.

impty I suppose it could be argued that your daughter would have done even better at the private school and hers even worse at the state.

stealth as I await a phone call from a teacher from school, realise how interfering involved I am

Additional Educational Needs.

Jenai yes, you are right, it falls into the 'never know' category. It is perfectly possible that I am doing my children a massive disservice by not educating them privately.

If we were really sensible I suppose we could try and put the money we might have spent on fees aside. £80k could be hugely handy in 6 years time...

I didn't mean to sound smug there sorry. Knowing our profligate tendancies we won't put that money aside at all.

happy - as a poster has said upthread, it's kind of pointless trying to answer the OP in abstract since there are so many variables.

Of course if you are talking about living in certain parts of the SE and you commute into London and you live in a high council.tax area and your prep is £20k pa and you have a big mortgage because you bought high and....and ... then of course £40k is not enough. But my figure is based on costs and circumstances in my part if the UK and not yours :)

Gross generalisation, but those who have consciously chosen state education seem more likely to be interfering involved parents.

This is definitely not true IME, in fact the complete opposite is true! I think it can vary from school to school, but not necessarily along the private/state divide.

I'm always bemused by those who are unhappy with their private school yet still keep on stumping up the fees.

I would never do that. Nor would any of my mates.

That said, I don't think any outsider can take a view as to which schools are valuable or not. Only you can say that for and about your own family.
Even the most average private state school may be worht every dime if DC were extremely unhappy at their state school, or thriving beyond everything the parent ever imagined.

Both my DC attend very different types of school. Both are excellent value for money in very different ways for very different children.

It's all personal choice.
We could afford it quite, quite comfortably. Instead we moved to a fantastic house with land and horses which we could never have bought paying several sets of school fees. Oh, and in catchment for outstanding schools. Our children ski, ride and have amazing holidays and experiences. Again, not mutually affordable with school fees.

To me, life is a balance. Scrimping and saving to send your children when excellent alternatives are available seems daft, especially if all you can then offer your children is private education.
We are exceptionally happy with our choices, and as DD1 is already being spoken of as Oxbridge material and supported at school accordingly at 13, we've clearly made the correct ones.

Each to their own. Every school is different and every child.

I doubt you are doing her a disservice, impty! I have the odd ponder about my own ds here and there. he probably would get better grades for now if he went to one of the private schools (they are more pushy here and ds can be a lazy so-and-so) but he's doing plenty well enough where he is (a not particulalry stellar comprehensive) and he's happy.

I'm always reluctant to say it on MN but as long as he does well enough at GCSE to do what he wants to do post-16, and well enough at post-16 to do what he wants to do after that, I'm content.

I'm concentrating on giving him options for now; letting him know that there's a whole world of opportunities out there (whilst mentioning that some are conditional on getting bloody good exam results - so it is well worth pulling your finger out).

At DD's year at primary school (speculating!) a few have family wealth or grandparents / trust funds are paying; most have a SAHM and one very high earner (e.g. Managing / finance directors, senior bankers); a smaller number (including us) have two high earners (eg doctors, dentists, lawyers, banking, IT, accountancy) or run a successful business.

We have a big, detached 3-bed house, have yet to be on a playdate with anyone from school with a smaller house.

(Musing) I think that one of the issues my acquaintance has is that her 'picture' of what 'education' looks like is very shaped by her own experiences and peer group. So, for example, she would expect children in blazers and ties, at individual desks, in silence, with a teacher talking at the front, for whom everyone stood up when they entered the room.

None of those are bad things, though they do not of themselves guarantee a good school or a good education.

However, that expectation does not equip her to evaluate the education provided in e.g. a modern state reception class, full of children in sweatshirts, busy with child-initiated and teacher-guided activity, or even in a KS1 or KS2 classroom with children seated in groups working busily on differentiated tasks.

Again, none of those things are, of themselves, good or bad, but she is as poorly equipped to judge their excellence or otherwise as I would be when e.g. assessing the ability of a performer of Gamelan or on the sitar, despite having some (Western) musical knowledge. And of course prevalent opinions such as 'inspection reports not being worth the paper they are written on' plus media reports about state education don't help much either.

Ah thanks seeeker Im crap at acronyms.
Im only thinking out aloud here so might be talking rubbish do you think that many choose independent ed and claim that they know nothing about state ed because of the way its presented to them. Most independent schools have glossy prospectuses smart websites many now with hideous videos of bright eyed pupils telling you that there schools facilities, exam results etc are the best. Enthusiastic teachers telling you how wonderful the teaching is and the pastoral care images of science teachers causing explosions in front of beautifully well behaved and smiling children and sweeping images of swimming pools playing fields and music rooms. As a prospective parent you can often arrange a time to go and meet the head personally drink tea and eat posh biscuits while he pretends to be interested in your DC hangs on your every word about how wonderful and talented your DC is. You have a guided tour with an equally enthusiastic pupil telling you how wonderful the school is.
In contrast in the state sector you can usually only go on a open day or "when we do prospective parent tours on Wednesday morning" you rarely meet the head or at our local comp ay of the other children you slightly get the feeling they're doing you a favour by showing you round. Is it surprising that so many parents get won over by 3rd rate independent schools doing a soft sell?

stealth - I agree. It was a gross generalisation :)

I know private parents who have a hands off approach to theirs kids education. You ask them what gcse options their DCs are going to choose and theiy have no idea or interest.

Then there are parents like me. I know what homework my DCs get and I know what marks they got.

You are going to get parents like us in the.state system. Pushiness or indifference isn't unique to private parents

DH has several colleagues who chose expensive houses near popular state schools, on the basis that all being well they will have more money, and get their financial investment back.

Just to be clear, Indrid, by "those who have consciously chosen state education" what I meant (and should have said) is "those who could afford private schools and have chosen state schools" - not parents of state school pupils in general.

happy - not our Secondaries. In fact, your experience of private mirrors mine at state. I know our Heads well.

Dozer - yes, my experience and it means the schools are full of like minded, successful , interested parents, in the main.

At the last parents evening at the secondary you couldn't move for Audis and Landrovers . It's extremely affluent and full of the sort of parents who could afford private but choose an excellent state school.

Happy, that's an interesting point. My experience at DS's comprehensive when visiting was as you describe for a private school - individual tour with member of senior management team, opportunities to chat with pupils etc. However, we have almost entirely discounted a state girls' grammar in the next town simply because they were so obstructive about visiting (I cannot go to open days, as they are during term time and I am teaching, so I asked to go on another day. That is simply NOT ALLOWED. I did almost ask what they were so worried that I might see, but decided to be polite!) Attitudes towards prospective parents can shape decisions...but perhaps it's again a school to school variation thing not a state / private divide...

Laughing at your quick clarification stealth. You would have been shredded otherwise.

stealth - some people consciously choose to go private. It doesn't by default make them more involved parents. So I don't see why consciously choosing a state school by default make them more involved either.