Who can afford private schools in the UK?

[wjchoihk]

Hi. I am not sure if this is an appropriate question to ask here. But I have always wondered how rich you should be to send children to private schools in UK. Fees are anywhere from 3000 up to 10000 per term. Even allowing for wide gaps in income, thinking of 'avearge' UK wage of 26,000 pound, math simply don't add up for a normal life with such high fees. I also know only 7% of children go private though.

How much of private parents live on "inherited" wealth and how much on simply superior current earnings? I have my kids at SW London privates but I wouldn't be able to afford this without current int'l expat package. Some parents at my kids' schools LOOK and ARE very very rich but most of them LOOK quite down to earth. But I can't ask....

"Of course if you are talking about living in certain parts of the SE and you commute into London and you live in a high council.tax area nd you have a big mortgage because you bought high and....and ... then of course £40k is not enough."
Forget prep fees of £20 000 as I demonstrated above prep fees of £10 000 are outside of the financial range of an average couple on £40 000. There are just over 8 million living in the south east ditto greater London thats not including Essex and wiltshire another 2,300 000 so were talking just over 18 million just under a third of the UK population. So maybe Totally where you live my figures are unrealistic but not for a third of the population living in London the home counties Oxfordshire and Wiltshire they are frightening realsitic.

Egadz, another of these threads

DP and I live in the SE, both work and earn £25K between us. We don't holiday and have a small hatchback car.

I would love for those posters who keep saying it's 'all about choices' and 'priorities' to tell me where I can cut down in order to be able to afford school fees amounting to our entire annual income

Am I missing something here? I thought there were millions of people in the UK in the same position as us, working hard for low incomes.

These threads really do make me feel like shit :(

Auntmaud Your posts made me nauseous tbh. Am I jealous? To right I am

TotallyBS I didn't say it did.

Higgs, you don't have the option. People talk nonsense on here.

"but perhaps it's again a school to school variation thing not a state / private divide..."
Nearly all independent schools even the over subscribed big names bend over backwards for parents. We've lived in two counties and I and friends have found that you don't get the same soft sell, in the state sector. Many people are blinded impressed by swimming pools canapés manicured lawns and Palladian bridges and IME experience the more relaxed friendly (not sure thats the words I'm looking for slightly smarmy maybe) atmosphere.

auntmaud DH and I often play the 'what would do if we could only afford fees' game.

If fees took up all our dosh and there wasn't enough left for the cars and holidays etc...

I take my hat off to all those families that do that. I mean, you can't fault them, doing that for their DC. Dunno if I'm selfless enough...

Higgs that is what I was trying to demonstrate to Totally with my figures and that was for a couple on a higher income than yours. Of course you cant afford it.

Higgs you are right, most people just don't have the option.

Why can't people understand it though instead of banging on with this 'oh, if you sacrifice all your holidays and handbags bullshit?

I see it on every bloody private/state thread.

Yes, Nit - they don't come any steamier is the phrase that cemented it.:)

YY Nick and Edwin, but also the last match in the Cricket Cup, where Nicola thinks 'Mr Tallboy'....

Now back to the real thread..

yy impty and others, though the prep school my dcs attended is internationally famous and one of the 'best' in the country. I can name names if people care to message me. I know INCREDIBLY rich people who send their dcs there, eager and hopeful. I try not to ask if their dds are on the Pill.

The secondary schools were more middling, but one is regularly in the national top 50. And it's STILL fundamentally shite. Creaky, rule-bound, useless at managing big discipline probs - a mix of brilliant and UTTERLY TERRIBLE teachers.

IMHO, the indy schools I've encountered are VERY well-suited to kids who are moderately conventional, outgoing all-rounders. That describes a lot of kids, but not mine.

I say all this because in the past people have tended to assume that only underrated private schools could fail a child. My point is that the top ones can too.

Why did I go on paying out? Largely because I had no idea how bad it was for my dcs. The reports kept rolling in, full of praise, even hype. I picked both my dcs up frequently and made time to ask them how things were. Yet they never really said until one day I said, look, do you still want to go there? on a whim. Then the dam broke.

happy - I live south of Watford Gap so I'm one of you as opposed to one of them :)

I don't understand why we are having this argument. Based on my outgoings and the fees at the local prep £40k is do-able. The fact that its not do-able where you Iive doesn't invalidate my post.

How about we agree to disagree since it's getting rather pointless

DH and I often play the 'what would do if we could only afford fees' game

The winter nights must fly by....

[oooh, that's what the Mr Tallboy is! Thanks sieg!

'You' said Nicola sternly to Nicola, 'are the original steaming nit'. I think of hat to myself whenever I bash a leg on something and swear at myself ]

:(

I hate how this kind of thread makes someone feel like shit.

I don't know how much one would need to earn in order to have enough spare for fees.... I just can't see how people do it.
I can see that if you bought your house at a good price way back when and have managed to just have a small mortgage you may be able to make savings elsewhere..... Or maybe people get lucky with some inheritance or help from grandparents?

Stealth - I can't cut and paste from my phone so can I refer you to your sentence that starts with 'gross generalization'

Well when you've been properly poor nit you do think about what it would be like to end up broke again...you do question if your priorities have changed and which things you could give up in a flash and which you couldn't.

That's just natural for people like DH and I.

I think some people deliberately misunderstand to have an excuse to get angry. Of course if 2 adults earn 25k btw them then the priority issue is not for you.

And let's not have comparisons with moving house for a nicer area. The decisions involved are totally different. And are often taken before people know what the schools are like, what the catchments are, even before children. (Plus, catchments change all the time.)

Totally,

I thought that you decided £40k wasn't doable because you had not known how much of that gross income would have to go on tax? As HappyGardening has said, that would leave around £27k net, perhaps £17k after typical mortgage / rent costs.

Well, not sure 'broke' = 'only able to afford fees' though, does it?

Of course everyone spends time thinking about contingencies and putative situations, from how you'd all get out if there was a fire to what you'd do if you both lost your jobs.

(I always used to get in a tangle about what I'd do if one of the children fell off a bridge when they were very small - would you risk losing valuable moments taking your shoes off, or would you jump straight in and risk them impairing your progress?)

And sorry if that sounded rude, but the idea of spending lots of time thinking oooh, cars or fees if we were really skint.... well it's a bit specific, isn't it?

"Why did I go on paying out? Largely because I had no idea how bad it was for my dcs. The reports kept rolling in, full of praise, even hype. I picked both my dcs up frequently and made time to ask them how things were. Yet they never really said until one day I said, look, do you still want to go there? on a whim. Then the dam broke."
sieglinde I've have never said independent ed. is right for all and as you said maybe its the one you send you DC's too and the ones you've encountered and I'd be the first to admit that unconventional children are not welcome or catered for in many independent schools and I'm sure seeker et al would also say that state ed is not right for everyone. We all have so many different experiences and as importantly expectations.

Who are these posters that go on about how everyone can afford private if only they make sacrifices? People keep making third party references but no one name names. Do these posters really exist? Or is this what they call a straw poster?

Fees for prep are about £9k on average. With extras you need about £15k gross so if you are on £26k, unless you get 100% bursary or scholarship, then of course you can't afford private and only an idiot will suggest that you can.

So please feel free to post a link to the post of the said idiot so that we can all enjoy the post.

Totally Im really not trying to argue (honestly) with you but I think £27 000 (actually its about £32000) is what a couple on £40 000 a year earn after tax you said they could afford prep school fees teacher and I are trying to demonstrate that they probably cant especially if they have two children. !

[sigh] I can see why you drive poor seeker nuts, TotallyBS

What I said:

?Gross generalisation, but those who have consciously chosen state education [note my later clarification - given that they could afford private] seem more likely to be interfering involved parents.?

What you said:

?some people consciously choose to go private. It doesn't by default make them more involved parents. So I don't see why consciously choosing a state school by default make them more involved either?

Can you spot the difference ?

As it happens, I am an interfering involved parent (even if not in the same league of interference as my DM) with DC in an independent school. My (unscientific) observation was about the average nature/inclinations of those different groups. It's not choosing a state school which makes them more involved, FFS.