Year 7 ds is reasonably happy and doing well at school...

[seeker]

......but he misses his friends so much. He has friends at school, and he still sees his old friends at out of school activities, but that actually makes it worse- it might even have been better to make a clean break . There's nothing I can do- it's just matter of sitting it out, isn't it.

Yes. We went through similar last year. Moved from Hungary to UK in year 6. It's a prep school so DS will stay there till end of year 8.

It was a nightmare. He hated it. Hated us for moving him. Etc etc.

He is like a different child this year now in year 7. Much happier and settled and more confident. Even voted form captain!

It takes time. And it's an awkward age. It takes them time to figure themselves out. And who they want to be friends with. DS told us that he wasn't trying to make friends last year but was 'building his reputation'! He was 10!

I take it none of your DS's friends went to same school?

Plenty of people from his primary school- and plenty of people he knows. But none of his "circle" if you see what I mean. He's doing all the right things- we've had people home for tea and he's not miserable. He's just sad.

Seeker, I am sure you are doing all the right things - having new friends round etc.

From what you say, it sounds as if he is dealing with it in a resilient way, and that 'sad' is sad, but it isn't a disturbed or unhealthy reaction. Sad is a natural and healthy response - so yes, sitting it out and continuing to help him be resilient about it is probably the only way.

Fingers crossed, and a bar of Green and Blacks to you!

Thank you- can it be the green and blacks ginger, please?

He is very resilient and level headed- and he's good at talking about his feelings. He's also trying very hard to make things work. It's just so hard for him (and me) when we bump into his gang in Tesco in the morning and they go one way together and he goes the other! I do try to organise it so we don't meet them, but I got it wrong today.

is it a big school he's at now?

Only a month in, lots of time to make new friends.

"
Only a month in, lots of time to make new friends."

Of course. But he likes his old ones........!

Seeker really sorry to hear that your DS is feeling sad. If it's any consolation it took my DD till Y8 to find a group of friends that she felt truly comfortable with (and not all of them are in her year, some are in the year below).

It's awful when you know they are not happy socially, but I'm sure it will sort itself out as time goes on. Sorry, I know that's not much help right now.

Is there any provision for late transfer to Grammar in Kent? Is there a 12+?