DD2 is in Yr11 at a lovely all-girls state school. She is the Head Girl and has always been highly regarded by her teachers. She has a lovely group of 5 best friends, one of whom sadly lost her mum in Yr 7. These friends are all similar to DD2 - slightly 'swotty', 'teachers-pet' type girls. I think the world of them all, especially the girl that lost her mum (lets call her A).
DD has been saying for a while how A has been having a hard time at school, being 'bullied' by the cool, popular girls. Name calling, jibes about weight, being mean about A's Dad, pretty nasty stuff. Seems to happen particularly in maths, where A is in a lower group with the 'popular' girls, so DD and A have seen the maths teacher on a number of occasions about it, and the maths teachers' attitude has always been "Oh, you're Yr 11, you're out of here in no time, just ignore it". Nothing has been done.
A few weeks back, the popular girls started to befriend A and invited her on some of their 'nights out'. A accepted, and last weekend had unprotected sex with a boy from the boys school down the road 
. Since then, the popular girls have completely turned their backs on A, calling her a Slag and a Slut, and after school on Tuesday, got the whole top floor of the bus home to sing a song they had made up about her.
DD and A came her after school on tuesday, after being on the bus, and A was in tears. Hysterical. They went up to DD's room and within a few hours there was laughter again. Turns out, DD had helped A make up her own song and some limericks about the popular group, and they had written these in DD's personal diary.
Wednesday at school, DD brought her diary in, and they showed the other 4 girls in their group the song and limericks. One of these girls told the popular girls about this, and the popular girl told the Deputy Head. On thursday, Deputy Head called DD in to his office, demanding to see her diary. DD said she didnt have it on her (she didn't, she only brought it in on wednesday. it usually lives under her pillow), and he asked her to bring it in on Friday. DD explained it was her PERSONAL diary, and that A had been bullied for some time, and so DD and A had used the diary to help 'vent' their feelings. She admitted to writing rude songs/poems about them, but said this was in retailation to the 'bus' incident. Deputy said tough, he wanted to see it.
After school, DD went to WHSmiths and bought a matching diary, and wrote stuff in it, so she could bring this one in instead, as she didn't want to bring her real diary in, for fear of getting in further trouble. She made up slightly less rude limericks and songs )and also included some fake entires about her weight, boys etc, to mimic her real diary, so the Deputy Head wouldn't suspect it was a decoy copy..
She bought this in for the Deputy Head today, and he read it (reading some extracts aloud apparently) and then tore each page out and threw it in the bin. He told her she was a 'nasty little girl' and that noneone likes people who bitch behind others backs and don't have the guts to say it to their face. He sent her out of his office, and said nothing further would be done.
She has come home and told me everything. I have never seen her so upset or distressed. I know she was wrong in writing nasty things about the group of girls, but to me, Deputy Head's actions are crazily out of proportion. You don't tear up a 16 year old's diary. DD won't let me say anything to school, she says she is out of there in June anyway and doesn't want to make a fuss.
But I'm so angry - am I right to be? WWYD?