Tears over secondary school allocation

[QuintessentialQuaker]

For the first time tonight we've had tears from DS over the secondary school he has been allocated. So far he has been very brave about it considering he doesn't know anyone else going there and it wasn't actually one of our choices but I think knowing that it's the last term of primary has just made him realise he will soon be leaving his friends :(

What I want to know is whether anyone else is in a similar situation and, if you are, how are you managing it? I was thinking of maybe getting him to join a club closer to his new school but I'm not sure what else to do (other than lots of reassurance that it will be fine). How can I make him feel better about this?

Phone the school he has been alocated and ask for your details to be sent to parent of a child 1 or 2 years above your DC but living near you - they can't give you details of other students / parents but they can pass yours on.

Tell them you want a 'buddy' for your DC - just for the first week. Try to get them to meet before the end of this term and see if DC can go for a day with his 'buddy'.

It is a long shot but a child who has been where yours is now may jump at the chance to help.

One of the few things my secondary got right was that they got the year above us to visit us in juniors, take us by bus to the school and show us round - obviouly that would not be allowed now - you would need teacher supervision / risk assessements and who knows what.

We had a similar (but different) situation. DS didn't want go to his allocated school and was the only one from his primary going there. It differed in that we did want him to go there - was his catchment school and the one with the best reputation in the area. Because it was our catchment school, but not the one for most of his primary, we had known that he was likely to end up there and that none of his friends would.

We therefore did as OP has suggested and got him to join clubs in areas that other children going to this school would be likely to attend. Worked to some extent, in that no one from these clubs became a friend, but at least there were a few familiar faces.

The school also sent out forms before their induction day in July asking, amongst other things if there was anything we felt they should know. We explained that he wasn't that happy and didn't know anyone, so they made an effort to make sure 'single' children like him were put together.

My dd chose to go to a school where she didn't know a soul & has made loads of friends. I would imagine there will be other children in the same position. Might be worth ringing up & seeing if they run a summer school (DD's did but it was full but so she couldn't do it.)

Thanks for the replies. Will definitely ring the school to see if they have a buddy system or summer school. I very confindent he will make new friends but it's all very daunting as it is a massive school and not knowing anyone will be quite scary. On the other hand being a big school means that there will be quite a few other people not knowing anyone. I will also see if the school can put them together on induction day (hopefully they'll have one!).

QuintessentialQuaker - If it's any consolation my son, who is happy about his allocated school, had a wobble when he went back to school this week - about friendships when they go to different secondary schools. I realise your son's got extra pressures but I think they're all feeling it a bit at the moment