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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Why did you choose a single-sex boarding school for your DS ??

42 replies

Trix2323 · 16/03/2012 07:41

I would like to hear from other who have (or have had) a DS at an all boys boarding school. Why did you go for that option (compared with co-ed)? Were you happy with your choice? What did you particularly appreciate about it being an all boys school? Was there anything that you were not happy about?

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vixsatis · 16/03/2012 07:57

Mine's younger than yours; but at an all-boys boarding prep. He's dyspraxic with terrible handwriting, organisation etc., and a class half full of girls would probably have demoralised him further since they tend (terrible generalisation) to be a bit ahead on that sort of thing.

We also just thought that he would love it; and he does- lots of messing around in the woods, dorm raids etc. He's also completely unself-conscious about doing things which, in a mixed environment might be thought of as "girls" activities- singing lessons, poetry reading, cookery.

The boys have tremendous esprit de corps and if any of them is having a hard time (homesick, parents divorcing etc.) they all circle the wagons and look after him. I think that the friendship groups are more divided in co-ed schools

For teenagers, I think that keeping the opposite sex out of the classroom just gives them space to be themselves without worrying about the impression made. These days schools seem to make an enormous efort to make sure that the boys get to know girls, allowing a lot of contact with local girls' schools

PosiePumblechook · 16/03/2012 08:00

In all fairness why would you? The only men I know that went to a single sex boarding school are pretty awful human beings. Madonna/whore complex about women.

Not that I understand anyone sending their children away but I'm sure there are few some parents that really have to, but single sex for boys.....

nokissymum · 16/03/2012 08:15

Dh went to all boys school, and i have over 20 male friends who did also, they are are all lovely well balanced individuals.

Nothing at all wrong with co ed, and but i prefer single sex, it offers a very different experience wether it be boarding or day, and the men i know just seem to have something extra about them that makes them stand out, i dont know wether its confidence or charisma or both (not saying you cant go coed and be these things) the camaraderie 20 odd yrs on is also beautiful to watch.

grovel · 16/03/2012 10:22

vixsatis put the arguments well.

happygardening · 16/03/2012 10:49

?In all fairness why would you? The only men I know that went to a single sex boarding school are pretty awful human beings. Madonna/whore complex about women. Not that I understand anyone sending their children away but I'm sure there are few some parents that really have to, but single sex for boys.....?
Oh God here come the usual uniformed tedious prejudice guff that we?ve all become so used to and many must find just so boring!
My DS (1 brother and no girls cousins etc.) was at mixed boarding prep and now attends a single sex senior. He will readily admit that he found it a bit of a shock in the beginning ?where are the girls?? and I suspect in the ideal world he might have liked to have gone to a mixed school but he felt when making his choice and now knows that there are no comparable mixed school. The school has so many other redeeming features and these vastly outweigh the no girls issue.

Pusheed · 16/03/2012 11:28

"The only men I know that went to a single sex boarding school are pretty awful human beings"

And the Mumsnet award for Generalisation of the Day goes to ..... :o

Original poster

Trix2323 · 16/03/2012 11:55

Why would I? Sorry if the intended focus of this thread was unclear from the title, it was not meant to be debate about boarding vs non-boarding - there are lots of those threads already, some of which are sensible, and for me that decision has been made.

Since you ask, it is because the choice I faced some time ago was like this. I expect lots of people have good and specific reasons to consider boarding for their DCs. It turns out that there are some excellent schools for the next stage, several of which are all boys.

I hadn't really thought deeply about single sex boarding vs co-ed boarding before, and I couldn't find a thread that had already discussed this with respect to senior schools for boys so I asked the questions. Luckily, others have thought about it - thank you to those who are sharing their experience.

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oshgosh · 16/03/2012 12:10

I shan't bore you with how we ended up at a single-sex boarding school, but here we are ...

Teaching is usually a female dominated profession but we have found that at our school it is the other way round. Lots of male role models.

Many single-sex schools go co-ed for sixth form so, after all the things vixstatis said, they still get to mingle later on.

IndridCold · 16/03/2012 12:49

We have chosen a single-sex school for our DS. I cannot fully answer your question, though, as he is not due to start until September, so it may yet go horribly wrong!

We chose it because we all loved the school and felt that DS would thrive there. I wouldn't say that we disregarded the fact that it was boys only, but it didn't seem to be that important to us.

DS is currently quite happy in a co-ed prep school and has always been friendly with girls. He has only recently started taking an interest in 'Girls' and has a girlfriend, but he doesn't seem at all concerned about them not being around all the time when he moves up.

If he had minded, and had particularly wanted to go co-ed then we would, of course, have taken those feelings into consideration.

BTW I went to a single-sex school, as did DH and most of our friends; we have nevertheless (with one or two exceptions!) managed to evolve into emotionally stable and happy functioning adults.

TalkinPeace2 · 16/03/2012 13:16

The only men I know that went to a single sex boarding school are pretty awful human beings.
Just Love that comment.
Says SO much more about the poster than about boarding schools!

dapplegrey · 16/03/2012 13:30

My DH and DS went to a single sex boarding school and neither are 'pretty awful human beings'.
We didn't choose ds's school specifically because it was single sex - the school we - and he - liked best happened to be single sex. He was very happy there and got a lot out of it (and I hope he put something back).

Colleger · 16/03/2012 14:02

I think you're over thinking this Trix. Send him to the convenient school that he wants to go to. I wish you'd post the names of the schools so we could advise better.

Original poster

Trix2323 · 16/03/2012 14:24

Send him to the convenient school that he wants to go to.

Colleger: If it were a straight choice, I would do exactly that. Unfortunately, there is a time dimension to the decisions.

I thought some views on co-ed vs all-boys would help me work out how long I should hang on in the expectation of an offer from the (preferred) all-boys school rather than just accept the co-ed one now.

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happygardening · 16/03/2012 14:56

One is almost certainly Harrow (see other posts collgeger) and the only mixed schools I can think of off the top of my head where they dine in house is Uppingham and maybe Botham.

Original poster

Trix2323 · 16/03/2012 15:02

Is dining in houses so rare?

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Colleger · 16/03/2012 15:34

So you've not even had an offer from Harrow? Personally I'd go with the co-ed school as Harrow is seriously oversubscribed. I'm not saying he won't get in but I am accepting a school place because the odds, even for my bright, musical and sporty boy are still slim at Harrow!

Original poster

Trix2323 · 16/03/2012 15:43

Colleger is your DS also on the waiting list for Harrow?

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Colleger · 16/03/2012 16:01

No, he sits the test in September but I have an offer elsewhere.

Original poster

Trix2323 · 16/03/2012 16:02

If he is sitting the pre-test, why do you think the odds are slim for a bright, musical and sporty boy? Isn't that exactly what they are looking for?

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milkshake3 · 16/03/2012 16:11

It's a numbers game!! Nothing is certain. You are right that on paper that is what they are looking for, but it's not over til it's over!!

Colleger I think you are very sensible to accept an offer. It helped my ds relax into the year 7 pre test process knowing he had a place at a very good school!

happygardening · 16/03/2012 16:43

Aren't there about 8 applicants for every 1 place at Harrow?

MollieO · 16/03/2012 16:44

Wouldn't that ratio be similar for all the main boys boarding only schools?

happygardening · 16/03/2012 16:47

I believe Eton is 5 for every 1 and Win Coll 3-4 for every 1 as the housemaster closes the list when he has about 30 -35 boys registered.

MollieO · 16/03/2012 16:52

Why is Harrow seemingly more popular? I'd have put it on a par with the others. Mind you I don't know how you even apply to Winchester if you have to choose a house first.

Original poster

Trix2323 · 16/03/2012 17:43

Harrow gives the impression that it less selective compared with the others, so I guess a wider range of people have a go.

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