Over reacting?

13 replies

shazzar67 · 09/09/2011 22:41

Daughter came home requesting a tutor.. GSCEs looming so dashed to Google. Found an agency..did a tutor search...found someone local.. filled out the form Clicked Send. Tutor calls. Its a male teacher. Ask prudent questions CRB etc whilst all the time trying to gauge if he sounds legitimate...make arrangements. Put down phone. MASS PANIC sets in.. frantic searches on school he said he taught at...search agency on google maps look at street it's registered in, looks a bit dodgey..imagination now really racing...feeling sick- what have I done? Has all my details...now really panicking! Run to computer... email to cancel appointment. Done. Left traumatised and feeling like "What am I like?"

OP posts:

MrsJamesMartin · 09/09/2011 22:44

You are overreacting, I'm guessing you would not have done any of that had the tutor who contacted you been a woman.

cardibach · 09/09/2011 22:47

Sorry, don't understand what has made you freak out. He's with an agency, check with them about vetting. Sit outside if you like. Or inside. Nobody will stop you. Unless you know someone who tutors the relevant subject (which presumably you don't or you would have gone to them) how esle do you choose a tutor? How does anyone?

kritur · 10/09/2011 11:08

Male tutor shouldn't be an issue although most males I know who tutor female students tend to work at the students house or the library, possibly because they recognise that some mums might be uneasy. I'm a female tutor and I have to say I've never had a lad's mum bat an eyelid and I've tutored them in their homes when mum hasn't been in (and they're lads of 17 and 18 mostly). If you're uneasy ask to come into the house (when I start tutoring at my own house when baby comes then I would be quite happy for mums to sit in my lounge and watch telly/read a magazine).

I don't think going online is the best way to get a tutor, I tutored my neighbour a few years back (she was home schooled) and they had lots of problems with tutors found online messing them about and although they were agency there wasn't much comeback. The best way to get a tutor is personal recommendation. Ask everyone you know with kids the same age or older, ask the school, ask neighbouring schools (I once had a mum who was a peripatetic music teacher wander into my lab and ask me if I'd tutor her daughter). I haven't tutored through an agency since the first 6 months I did it, even though I have moves areas so needed to get a new client base.

Hope this tutor works out, if your daughter doesn't like him then feel free to say you don't want to take the arrangement further. Thankfully I've never had a kid say that but I always say that the first lesson is a try out for both of us so I am prepared for that to be the case.

maypole1 · 10/09/2011 11:20

My dd has a tutor but the one thing I insist on is that the tutor comes here I pay extra put I don't care

kritur · 10/09/2011 11:33

For the tutors it's not just the extra cost of getting there sometimes. I've just started with a couple of kids and have said that we will need to figure things out in december when I have the baby, I might not be able to travel to them, they may need to come to me. We'll see how things work out but I have a good reputation and good tutors are hard to find round here so hopefully I'll be oK.

MrsRobertDuvall · 10/09/2011 11:35

Why didn't you specify a female tutor?

catwalker · 10/09/2011 11:58

why does your daughter want a tutor? Is it for a specific subject or subjects? Or is it just because she hopes it will make revision easier?

Either way, my first reaction would be to contact the school to find out

if they think she's having problems with certain subjects
if she is, then what if anything they are going to do about it (set and mark extra work, provide lunch time revision sessions)
if they think she would benefit from a tutor then can they suggest anyone

Like others, I'm not sure what you are getting at in your OP

AgentProvocateur · 10/09/2011 12:12

Huge overreaction, I think. Do you not allow her to have a male dentist or doctor? Hope your paranoia doesn't rub off on your daughter.

redglow · 10/09/2011 12:20

Did not really understand the post either. I am with you Agent very dramatic . It was done through an agency I am sure they would have done the checks.

DeWe · 10/09/2011 14:19

Ime agencies don't vett at all. dm has been a tutor with various agencies and has never been asked for CRB or even a reference.
Having said that it sounds like you're overacting.

redglow · 10/09/2011 14:37

Dewe I did not realise they were not checked. The agency make easy mon ey then for doing nothing. Just because he is male does not make him dodgy.

faeriefruitcake · 10/09/2011 16:39

Get a grip

TheFallenMadonna · 10/09/2011 16:46

Dashing to Google because your daughter comes home from school requesting a tutor is an over reaction, yes.

As for the rest, um, gosh.

Flip