Public schools gurus - Eton?

[carltonscroop]

This is more a fond dream than an actual plan. Yes, I've done some reading up, but wanted to ask any parents with recent(ish) first hand knowledge.

What's it really like? What sort of boy does it suit? Is it really worth the additional expense. (not the fees themselves IYSWIM but being at the high end - and on the same theme, are many things billed as extras) How hard is the scholarship exam? Has anything in particular surprised/pleased/disappointed you/your son/s?

pete your past posts laying into people are all there....

They are certainly all there Yello, I know what I've said to particular individuals who come with an attitude. Don't just be selective in your examples of my 'arrogant' posts. Just see how they originate in the first place. I will concede some of my posts are deliberately written arrogantly to frustrate.

They are also 'all there' my postings to genuine polite posters who don't come firing insults at strangers. Do you mention any of these?

I'm with millie. I can't believe the way this thread has gone.

I came on to this thread because DS2's headmaster has suggested we consider Eton for him. Like the OP, it isn't a school we'd necessarily considered (although several boys a year go there from DS2's school), partly as we'd assumed that DS2 would follow DS1 to his senior school.

I work with two OE's. They are both lovely, erudite, charming, intelligent...everything you'd want your son to be. And they both have DS's who are O/current E's - who again are everything you'd want your teenaged son to be. So on that (totally non-scientific!) basis, I'd love DS2 to go there.

Pete and Yellow, please take it somewhere else.

Yello, the present day Etonians are a far cry from the Etonians of your era and no, thank you, not many of them need their parents? advice. Could it be that?s what Eton teach them? Frankly, I don?t know. But what I do know is that Eton especially in the last 10 years or so have been undergoing a revolutionary change under the present Head Master. The name of the uni you go to is of no importance ? in fact, the HM specifically says Etonians should now look ?beyond the traditional uni?s? and even suggested to look to the USA. What that is important is to ask yourself what you hope to be contributing to the world in 10/20 years time.

? None of my DC's took your DS's son's place at Cambridge, please understand that. They go to state school not to Eton. They work hard and they play hard. They applied to Oxford and for different subjects, not medicine. Please don't use either myself or them as outlet's for your understandable disappointment on behalf of your DS.?

It?s precisely postings like this that I take issues with and when I come out with a reply to stuff the nonsense, I?m then accused of being arrogant and vile.

As parents the first thing you want is to see your DC are happy in the decision(s) they make in their lives, be it the school/uni they prefer, the partner they choose in marriage, the religion (or none of it) they adopt, etc. I have had no particular influence in my DC?s life and for my own sanity, I?ve learnt long ago it?s better that way. They are very happy where they?re going/have gone so I?m not about to interfere in what is supposedly their future as long as I know I?ve supported them every inch of the way.

? DD3 has became mesmerized by your posts over the past weeks. The language! The grammar! The arrogance! The hatred! (of a complete stranger and her DC on an anonymous forum).?

Not quite sure what all this means but if you?re referring to yourselves, first and foremost and echoing in the most polite way what other posters have already said, your DD shouldn?t really be involving herself here. And since she?s at it, what has she got to say about her mum?s rude and condescending postings here and on other threads to me and other posters?

But ask yourself, does it make any sense in any of the things you said above? You, as a parent allow your child into a parents? forum and then go on to libel me saying that I have shown ?arrogance? and ?hatred? towards mother and child. Can you at least quote me one line in which I have been ?arrogant? and showed ?hated? towards your DD?

All I know is that I have genuinely wished her good luck in her revision (and I still do) and the same now also to all your other DC in their endeavours.

Hi sweaty, sorry about the negative posts. Just ignore them if you can.

If DS2?s headmaster has suggested Eton as a possibility, then please do keep this in mind and take DS2 for a visit. It?s a big school and DS may not see the section/dept that he?s most interested in so please do ask about it while you?re there. It is important to go there with an open mind and treat it like another public school. Competition is tough, last year they had 850 boys vying for 250 places.

Milliemae, this is not the weirdest MN thread ever. There has been at least one weirder.

pete I suggested a while back that you call it a day. You chose not to, so I've felt I have to reply. Your posts and mine are very different in content and style. You're consistently rude, I'm consistently civil. When I talk about Oxford, grammar school results etc, I only do so with reason and to make valid points; they are my sphere of experience. Talking about these is no more a boast than saying my children are at Eton or Harrow or Habs - what I don't do is go on to say how marvellous my DCs are or how superior their qualities are to anyone else's. If anything, I stress the opposite.

If you don't want people to pick you up on inconsistencies, don't be inconsistent. Earlier in the thread you were decrying Oxford and Cambridge, and saying that you couldn't persuade your DCs to apply there; I'm sorry, perhaps you shouldn't have said that. Tbh I'd be thrilled if DS1 got into KCL for medicine next year, why not leave it at that?

math, it doesn't compare to you telling another poster that they're 'bragging about their family's holocaust experience.'

Far too much on MN gets distorted by personal pique. The way this thread has gone is another example of that. The thread also shows that Eton doesn't inspire envy in particular, at least not any more, so it's not that which has distorted the thread.

Well I did offer Yellow Pimms and Cricket but the offer hasn't been taken up!

If Peteneras is who I think he is then I have to say that he is not arrogant in any way and I genuinely did not see him attacking anyone but I have felt it's been the other way around. When personal attacks are made about one's grammar, spelling etc then the poster has done themselves a disservice. But enough about that....

So back to the OP:

Eton is a fantastic school for the majority of bright "go-getter" type boys. Most boys at my son's prep school would suit it, some would really not and others do not have enough to offer to be picked from the 850 that apply. Harrow and Eton are the hardest schools to get into because sheer academic ability will not get you a place, neither would a sportsman playing for U13 England cricket team. Yes, they will take some amazing brains but on the whole they want a mix. Of the 11 boys who applied in my son's year only two got in, the rest were accepted at Winchester as were the two who got in. There were two academic, sporty, musical boys who didn't get a place and I wonder how DS, at the time, got a place over some of these boys. So for me the process seems like a random lottery but Eton know what they are doing and if a boy gets offered a place it is usually because they know a boy will thrive.

It is a busy environment and at one point they put a pedometer on a very unsporty boy and he clocked up 7 miles in an average day just walking to classes etc so your son will never be overweight! The societies are the best of any school as are the facilities and that is not my blinkered view - I spent a long time toying with sending DS to Westminster so I did my research.

The potential cons (or pros depending on how one views it) may be:

The uniform

The size

Single rooms from day one - some see that as a pro, others a con.

The attitudes towards Etonians - society are allowed to be judgemental and rude to/about an Etonian but if an Etonian "steps out of line" then everyone jumps on the bandwagon. A boy is never seen as behaving like a normal boy but a product of Eton which is really rather ignorant imo.

Oh and there is a club called "How many Etonians can you notch on your bedpost"!

Colleger pete is a she not a he so clearly a different person from the one you believe him to be.

That's just OE's sticking together. Look at the early comments spitting derision on grammars, that was very much aimed at me. Unprovoked so I reacted. You evidently didn't read the other thread where pete was so exceptionally damning about what some state schools achieve.

Eton's provided a good education and so it should on those fees.

My friend and her DH are disappointed with Eton for both of their sons, that's a valid point too?

Eton prvides..

Try again: Eton provides..

Can we just keep this to facts about Eton now as this is growing weary. :)

colleger, you've brought up one of the potential drawbacks for me - the uniform. Could you either say a bit more about how boys manage with it, or PM me if you'd rather. Thank you.

Very weary indeed. I said that pages ago.

Why did pete bring grammar school performance into it in the first place Colleger? The fact that Eton's is allegedly "a damn sight better than almost 99% of the nation?s 164 ?top grammar schools?" which "may have achieved their current year ranking by fluke" is probably not relevant to an OP who appears to have sufficient money to make a choice between the top public schools and probably hasn't the least interest in a grammar.

For those with less choice it evidences a snobbishness and ungraciousness which appears to breed amongst certain Eton parents, at least on this thread (not all by any means: some have been quick to distance themselves). And that might be an ethos OP wishes to buy into at considerable expense, or might like to avoid.

Comparisons with other schools charging the same sort of fees is valid though, necessary even. Eton isn't an island and Etonians now more than ever don't live on one and have to compete in a competitive world and, according to your experience of university admissions Colleger, combat anti-Eton discrimination effectively too. That's quite a tough call. Maybe these fees are better spent at Westminster or Winchester for instance? Is the profile of the intake at all the top schools the same? Does that affect the ethos or expectations? The calibre of the respective Headteachers? The effect of a change of Headteacher? The liberalism of the school? Options re. day/boarding. Those bigger issues are certainly relevant and the sort of thing which it's useful to know.

The reasons I choose Eton over Winchester which are purely my views and not a criticism of Winchester as I may have got my facts terribly wrong (!) are:

Too liberal, if a boy does not want to take part in sport (after 1st year) or debating or get involved in pursuits that could build character then a boy is not made to even try. For my son he would have went through Winchester taking the easy option out and getting very fat and unfit!

Although it is at the forefront of academic scholarship I felt the school was very inward-looking and didn't prepare boys for the "big bad world". DS would have had a marvellously sheltered time there amongst genteel boys but that would not have necessarily done him any favours.

Many of the boys we came across were painfully shy and after five years at Public School and £150k+ I do not expect that or am willing to pay for it!

Westminster:

We took a masive academic risk turning down Westminster especially as I am pro girls entering the sixth form, the location offers so many opportunities too, but we did so for the following reasons:

The manners, behaviour and general scruffiness of the boys and they never seemed happy and came across as rather cynical. Please do not think I am tarring all Elizabethan's with the same brush but one can only go on what one sees and gut reaction.

Due to medical reasons the environment was too urban.

It wasn't a full boarding school.

Now if DS had ended up at one of these schools then we would be delighted, and probably more so with Westminster but we felt, for too many reasons to go into, that it had to be Eton - and FYI virtually no one turns down a place. I do not deem academics to be the most important thing but many people do and make comments such as why not spend the money on the school that gives DS a 50% chance of getting to Oxbridge. Well I think my son already has a higher chance of that so I would rather spend money on better facilities, better opportunities (musically and intellectually) and the rare opportunity to be an Etonian and what comes with it.

I'll never forget that 150th CCF anniversary parade with the Apache air assault. It made the Edinburgh Tattoo look like a prep school play!

And my very reasons may make another parent's stomach churn!

My stomach isn't churning! My thanks to those who continue to contribute to this thread. I have been learning a lot.

The bragging seems to be quite a habit. And it is also de trop.

Back to the thread (one or two comments actually), and just out of my own curiosity -- what is it about the Ivy League that attracts Eton boys (and boys from other top British schools) as opposed to anything Britain has to offer for third level? Where do most go or is it possible to find out?

I don't think it's possible to tease apart feelings about Eton and feelings about privilege.

math your comment about bragging in relation to the Holocaust was sick. Seriously, revoltingly, indefensibly sick.

Don't try to dust it off now.

I'm just grateful to MNHQ for deleting all related posts; the posts would have upset many MNers, not just myself.

We do wonder here too, are math and pete (both N. London and both given to post at 4am) one and the same?

Yeah me too Colleger .

math, maybe money where your mouth is or quit?

colleger
what is fourth tier, please?

No wonder why some boys and parents don't bother to talk about their school to stranger.

Even with conditional offers from Eton and Winchester, people give enough shite stories and myths about them. It seems that it's just different shades of the same moon.

It's great help from many people in this thread.