Mid Feb birthday to defer or not to defer for primary one

[Foreverundecided]

One of my DC will be 4 mid Feb so I have to decide in the next week if I will defer or not

I've been debating for months

DC is very bright and social and I don't think they would struggle socially in a school setting

However I stayed home the first couple of years so they literally will have had only a year and 6 weeks at nursery before school whereas my older DC got two full years at nursery

Also I had no idea how common it was to defer now and I worry he will be 4 with children coming up for 6

Does anyone still send their Feb babies at 4 ?

@Pumpkinseason3 I think for the reasons you've given, this is the right decision for your son.

I'm sorry to hear that people around you haven't been so supportive. People seem to be in such a rush for children to grow up.

I'll forever be envious of countries like Finland where compulsory schooling starts at age 7.

@pumpkinseason3 I'd only9 automatically defer Dec to Feb. August I wouldn't defer unless individual circumstances indicating weren't ready. September- Oct I dont think id defer either, would absolutely consider how ready for school they were but would probably send, they'd turn 5 fairly quickly into school year and university terms start later so not long being 17 if they went straight away. Not too much younger than a lot of peers and older than some too. Nov I'd probably defer but would give consideration to circumstances. But Dec- Feb I'd automatically defer to give that extra time.

@pumpkinseason3 sorry I only just saw your update! I'd defer in your circumstances, the extra year will do him a world of good and being older will always be an advantage socially, academically and physically! I think you've done the right thing. My friend's son is now 15, an early Dec birthday and he was deferred and they've never once regretted the decision, he's thriving. I would have done the same as you to give your boy the best chance for success 😊

I would speak to the nursery, go with your gut instinct and if in doubt defer.
Although, it very much depends on your child. I deferred my youngest DS who is a December birthday & now almost 16. It was absolutely the right decision.
My eldest DS was not deferred, he is 18 at the end of the month and is currently studying at Oxbridge. He has excelled academically and is a happy, sociable 17 year old. If I were to do it again, I would not defer him but the he definitely struggled socially late primary/early secondary. And socialising at uni is tricky when you aren’t 18! Taking a year out isn’t really the answer because there are so many jobs you can’t get/things you can’t do if you aren’t 18.
I never thought about deferring my eldest because it wasn’t really a thing for a Nov birthday back then and although he was the youngest in his high school class, he has turned out pretty well! My youngest on the other hand would have struggled immensely in the year above.
One of the key things that influenced my decision to defer my youngest was that he didn’t play with the older kids at nursery. All his wee friends were from the younger year group.

@oknm Thank you. I do believe it’s the best decision for him so I’m really not bothered about family etc disagreeing 🙈 it would be a lot easier if they just kept their opinions to themselves tbh lol.

I agree! So many people seem to be in a rush for them to grow up. I hope they eventually follow with later compulsory schooling here but I very much doubt we’d ever get it starting at 7!

Interestingly Sweden is lowering its school starting age from 7 to 6.

And these countries all have pretty much free Preschool.

@Greydayworries Thank you 😊 I just feel he needs that year to build his social skills. Hes come on leaps and bounds since starting nursery in January but still definitely one of the most quiet and shy ones. I’m hoping that extra year will just give him a bit more confidence.
His nursery have been amazing and had a sit down meeting to discuss how they can help challenge him academically over that extra year etc as I was a little nervous about him getting bored as he’s already exceeding the targets that are set for him this year. Some of the senior staff have recent experience of deferring their own children and definitely have seen the benefit which is good.

Totally normal round here to defer January & February babies, sometimes December too. We deferred our son, born end January and never regretted it. I think he would have been ok if we hadn't but it's always better to be one of the older ones in the class. And way down the line, if they go off to Uni, it means they are 18 and a half and more ready for it, and don't have the worry about getting fake ID!

My kids were born March and April and went to school when expected, didn't even think of deferring.

They both however in preschool from the age of 1 so perhaps more than ready for school...

I know a lot of summer babies, also not deferred. Are we permitted to make this choice ourselves?

March and April babies are the oldest in the year and cannot be deferred.

Yes exactly this, I didn't understand at all.

I'm Sep born, sister is Jan born and we both did very well academically..

I think I'm missing something, which country is this for?

I'll forever be envious of countries like Finland where compulsory schooling starts at age 7.

They have compulsory pre-school from 6.

This is the Scotsnet board.

Ohhh sorry just realised...apologies.

I'm a feb birthday and started at 4, although I was fine at primary I didn't enjoy being the youngest at high school, i struggled with the social side.

Dd is also a Feb birthday and I waited until she was 5, I'm glad I did as she is dyslexic and I'm glad I didn't send her too young. She left school just after turning 16 and thrived as school wasn't for her!

I know a lady who was a special needs assistant in a primary school for over 20 year's. She was asked one day about holding a child back for a year before starting school.
The lady I know said the closer a child is to 5 before starting school the better.

She saw kids that would know letters ect at 4 start school. She noticed quite quickly that socially the 5 year olds coped better in school.
One of my friends had a March born boy and she decided not to send him to school at 4 but wait till 5. He was 5 and half starting school. He was ready for school then and he is now doing well in secondary school.

One of my friends had a March born boy and she decided not to send him to school at 4 but wait till 5. He was 5 and half starting school. He was ready for school then and he is now doing well in secondary school.

If he was born in March how could she have sent him to school at four?

If he was born in March how could she have sent him to school at four?

England?

I have deferred two of my children.

One born in November - I had to make a application for this and for an additional nursery year. It was granted. My basis for this was DC missed a year of nursery due to covid, and was quite shy. Academically I thought they would have been fine, socially not so much...their little friends were all not due to start school until the following year and they had to work hard to make those friendships. It has been 100% the right choice so far, the relationships made in nursery have continued and there is a great bond between the group of friends, socially DC is much more confident (and that includes with teachers etc, asking for help and support etc). Then we have had a few academic things highlighted which I don't think DC would have coped with as well at a younger age.

One born in January - I had to apply for an additional nursery year, but the right to defer was automatic due to the birth date of January. No real reason for deferral other than we have a lot of upheaval in the family coming up and I feel the longer they get to be little kids the better personally. DC is also not ready for the classroom environment.

I am now due another winter baby and I already feel like I would defer again.

Starting school at 4 is fine, and I think a lot of children cope fantastically but my concerns lie with when they get to secondary school and are trying to keep up with their older classmates, always the last one to be able to do things like drive etc etc. I also believe playbased play is the best for children up to around age 7, before that I feel like their natural need to move and explore can be restricted by a more formal school setting (for our area our primary one is partly play based, then it's sit down to learn from primary 2)

I would recommended deferral 100%.

I'm on the fence about deferral pre Christmas, but 6 months off 5 is just too young.