Mid Feb birthday to defer or not to defer for primary one

[Foreverundecided]

One of my DC will be 4 mid Feb so I have to decide in the next week if I will defer or not

I've been debating for months

DC is very bright and social and I don't think they would struggle socially in a school setting

However I stayed home the first couple of years so they literally will have had only a year and 6 weeks at nursery before school whereas my older DC got two full years at nursery

Also I had no idea how common it was to defer now and I worry he will be 4 with children coming up for 6

Does anyone still send their Feb babies at 4 ?

Genuinely a tough decision - I had one who was ready socially and academically at 4, and is young for their year and I don't think it's a desirable state of affairs especially as they get older. I've got a teen now who is mystified why some of her friends are all about the boys and make up etc - it's not that dramatic or terrible and personality differences will always happen in any group but if I could turn the clock back...what's the advantage of not deferring?

I have an early Jan soon to be 16 year old and with hindsight I wish I hadn’t sent him (although then deferral was usual - yet 3 years later with my next it was normal)

The social side when your in primary isn’t the issue but in senior school I have been able to see big differences. Even with exams they are so much younger and it’s a lot to deal with. A year would have made a huge difference. If I had my time again I’d keep him back.

At 17 she would be limited in jobs she could apply for to earn money for travel and very young to be travelling on her own too - eg easyJet require you to be over 18 to make a booking.

It's not obligatory to travel during a gap year.

Well she could just stay at home. Or she could stay at nursery now and benefit from additional maturity throughout her school years.

ds(20) is mid Feb birthday and we deferred, never regretted it for a second and several times through out primary, and even more so in secondary we were really glad we did.

Do you need to decide so early? It has been a long time since we did it, but we were advised to register him for school and we would still be able to choose to defer almost right up until when he was due to start. Worth checking out.

Here is the response to a freedom of information request to East Lothian Council regarding deferal rates for this year's intake

Doesn't seem to be much of an advantage / experience then, does it?

Probably better to just defer at age 4 than I would have thought.

Not sure what the advantage is in taking a year out at age 17 when you're too young to do very much and when your peers are off travelling / starting uni.

Definitely defer. I deferred both mine and they were far more confident in class and growing up. As an infant teacher it’s very easy to tell the 4 year olds, a year makes a big difference at that age. Also at high school there is a world of difference between 14.5 and 16 and at that age kids can be vulnerable and emotionally and developmentally not ready for the relationships all and sundry get into.

My DS turned 4 at the end of July and started school 6 weeks later on 5th September. He's been fine. He loves school and is meeting all expectations. I dont understand the whole deferring thing. Especially Feb babies, that's mud way through the academic year so they'd be mid range in age, not the youngest by far.

This is Scotsnet. Cut-offs are different here. July babies here don't start school till they are 5.

I deferred my Feb-born DD. No regrets. The difference in her in that year was huge, and I felt like it was giving her the best start possible. Almost all her nursery peers who were Jan and Feb babies were also deferred.

I'm Scottish but in England. I didn't have the option to defer my June baby but she really struggled in her first few years in primary school. On the other hand she's really come into her own at secondary school, interestingly in England there's very much a narrative that the differences even out in secondary school so the opposite to what people think on this thread. Everyone in England gs 18 when tgey go to University though.

FWIW I think not being able to defer is better so that a class doen't have massive age gaps. But kids should start school later than they do in either England or Scotland.

Scottish system is different to English. There is no reception year so school starts at 5 for most the youngest is 4.5 years. They go straight into year 1.

The way it's worked out is also different so Jan and Feb from the following birth year being the equivalent to July/August children in England. It is possible in England to defer July/August children it's just not as common as it is in Scotland.

It is well researched in England that summer babies (ie the youngest) do less well right through school.

Especially Feb babies, that's mud way through the academic year so they'd be mid range in age, not the youngest by far.

In Scotland the cut off date between school years is the end of February so the youngest in the year are those born on 28th /29th Feb and the oldest (without deferral) are those born on 1st March.

It is like having an extra year of education for free. There are a lot of parents that want their children to grow up yesterday. Not deferring a Jan/Feb birthday is quite brutal on the child and benefits no one.

I deferred my Feb born child and have never regretted it. It as quite uncommon when I did it (he is now in S1 and doing very well in school). The nursery had said he was more then ready academically (he was) but I thought long term as the she gap tends to start up show by P4.

I know someone who didn't defer as in there words "my child is so smart and sociable they will be bored at nursery". The child had struggled academically since P2 and struggles socially.

I work between primary and services schools with all age groups and you can always tell the youngest kids in the year without even knowing there DOB. They are generally much less mature and often demonstrate behaviour that is more commonly seen in the class the year below. Hence why they struggle socially. Transition to S1 can be much harder for them to as they are very young to manage it.

I'm a teacher. Defer.

I know some people who didn't defer a Jan/Feb baby and their reasons were all different. My kids are all in secondary now so this was before the free childcare hours were extended and nursery/playgroup was 9-11.30 or 12.30-3 and some parents wanted kids in school asap to cut their childcare bills/responsibilities. Others genuinely thought their child was ready or would be bored at pre-school for another year. Some put a lot of store in friendships developed at nursery and thought it would be cruel to make their child stay for another year while all their wee friends went to P1. A very vocal minority saw it as some sort of one-upmanship with comments like "Oh Sophie is SO ready for school, so mature, so clever, I couldn't imagine holding her back for another year" - usually said in the earshot of a mum who was deferring her child.

Some of the reasons like the cost of another year's childcare or genuinely believing they are ready I totally get - others such as friendships I don't.

I honestly don’t understand the Aug deferrals at all. We had some children still in early years setting and they were turning 6 at the beginning of P1. The age range in the class can be a full 18months of a difference which is mad!

id say Jan- Feb deferrals in our early years setting are sitting at about 90% of parents deferring.

I would defer for a Feb birthday. It's not just a decision about whether they are ready for school at 4.5, it's also about how they cope further down the line. A young for their year child will be making life changing decisions about subject choice aged 15, and decisions around employment/uni applications age 16. Giving them an extra year gives them an extra year's maturity when making these decisions. Plus with their peers and teen behaviour- again, an extra year's maturity in terms of their decisions and actions. I haven't come across any parent who regretted deferring a feb/Jan birthday child.

I don't get why Scotland doesn't just raise the school starting age officially if that's what it wants. So start when they are 5, with the new nursery funding, they 12 years of school.

Some put a lot of store in friendships developed at nursery and thought it would be cruel to make their child stay for another year while all their wee friends went to P1.

I deferred my oldest and one thing I noted was how many friends I lost - parents of children I had gone through baby class, toddlers, nursery etc with all moved on with their children. They didn’t disown me but we were friends from our shared experiences and their experience of school a year ahead of me meant that a distance opened up between us. Plus the group who had always been there at nursery pick up where no longer there. I never regretted deferring but I did miss being part of my ‘baby mums’ group in the same way I was.

I didn't defer my child with a mid Feb birthday. They're now in S6, applying to Oxbridge with straight A's behind them and predicted this year. Whilst I understand statistically the outcomes are better for deferral, it certainly isn't the case for all children. I think referring to not deferring as "quite brutal" is a stretch. It certainly hasn't held my child back at all!

I think it's hard to make a decision until they're a little older.

Defer. Always.