Violent child in primary class

[Choufleuretbattenberg]

Looking to find out what we can do about a violent child in our daughters primary class. Happy to out myself if necessary. A boy in the class has behaved in a pretty shocking way for a long time now, and this week was my daughters turn to be on the recieveing end. He verbally threatened her to 'stab her in the eye', and then left the area, collected a pencil and then returned and poked her in the ear with it - fortunately not the eye.

School say they are doing all they can for the boy. They say there is no chance of him being moved, it's an inclusive society and they have a duty of care to all students. Even if he had blinded my daughter with the pencil, he would still have continued at school with them.

They also warned that if we move our daughters class or school there could be worse problems elsewhere.

I'm checking to see if this is actually correct? Does anyone have any experience of dealing with a violent child? Is this really all I can do for my daughter?

Complaints are definitely useful, they help to build a bigger picture, but things can be slow to get put in place

I had this issue all through nursery with another child. I had a really good relationship with the nursery staff and they were honest with me, couldn't help because of the needs of the other kids family - they had to be seen to be supportive, but would make sure they were apart as much as they could.

Fast forward to primary, the other kid punches mine and bursts their nose open. I tell the school to fix it or I'll move them, got the space shit excuses you did. In the end I moved them and their sibling, more due to the way they handled, or didn't handle, the issue if I'm honest.

Lot of shit the 'there could be worse elsewhere' chat. Take your chance somewhere else, your daughter will appreciate it 🤍

PS, my kid still sees the other one about and remembers what they done. It's not ok

You can't get a guarantee there won't be worse problems in another class - children with SEN without adequate support is a common problem.
My observation is that by upper primary many of these issues naturally diminish as impulse control improves in all children.

That said, if it continues or poisons my child's relationship with school id move them and play the odds.

Having been in a similar situation with one of my children, I made my concerns knows to the school as the potential for serious injury occurring was high. The staff asked/pleaded with as many parents as possible to group together and complain to the Head of Education at the council. This we did and the child was removed to a place where their needs were better met - the best outcome for everyone involved. Why should parents have to move their children? The current situation is madness and is in no-one's best interests.

Often these children will get moved to another of the feeder primaries in the area if they are causing bother. This happened with one violent boy in one of my DC's class a few years ago.

By moving schools it doesn't necessarily mean you will be improving the situation for your DD. It's just kicking the can down the road.

Sound advice by PPs is writing to head of education to make a formal complaint. They will have to take this seriously.

There should be behaviour units available although councils have removed a lot of these. I've worked in one and they work well - 6 pupils, one CT, one PSA at all times.

The current situation is just heart breaking for me as a parent aswell as a teacher.

My child had their arm broken by the “violent child”. The a&e doc was so enraged he called the police himself.

It all got sent to the Children’s Reporter (I think!) who decided NFA except to offer the mum extra support.

Like most of you, I’m sympathetic to shit homes/families but not at the expense of the safety of my child.

Long story short, we left the area and have no regrets whatsoever . “Violent child” went on to stab someone at school.

The poor schools have their hands tied with all this “no child left behind” gubbins. Unless they mean “some children left behind but another ambulance is on the way”.

Yes . With bells on .

They also warned that if we move our daughters class or school there could be worse problems elsewhere.

Err... no. My daughter is in Year 8 in London and gas been to 3 different schools. No one has ever threatened to stab her in the eye.

has been*

If you have a parents WhatsApp, that's a reasonable way to stir up debate but it'll get heated. You can also bring it to the parent council.

This is common in primary now. In my experience, schools will not exclude. Everyone just has to put up with it. Children and adults are allowed to be assaulted every day and apparently this is fine.

Please just keep complaining. Not just to the teacher, who is probably powerless, but to the head and to the council. Nothing will ever happen unless enough people complain, and even then ...

Absolutely this.
I'm a primary teacher in KS1/EYFS and I've had a series of consecutive 1yr contracts in different schools and neighbouring counties. I'm yet to teach a class that doesn't have at least 1 violent pupil. The worst class I experienced had 4 (in an affluent area) and whole class evacuations were daily - twice daily at the start of the year. All 4 had different SEN.

But very little I could say to the parents except about support in place for their own child and that SLT were aware and engaging assistance from the local authority/services.

Not one child was removed by parents that particular year, no idea how. And I survived the whole year, no idea how albeit battered and bruised (the previous teacher the year before had 6m on sick leave for work related stress after multiple incidents).

SEN provision is seriously lacking. Schools are over subscribed and massively underfunded. TAs are being dropped like flies (TA redundancies in my current school). Young children don't know how to manage their emotions and often start school with no support on that from home either and an expectation that they'll learn this at school. And sometimes, families not affected with neurodiversity don't have a single clue about SEN either (not saying that is everyone though!) yet are expected to be open minded and accepting with inclusivity in schools. Teachers are the front line, often not given adequate support or training to deal with these extreme situations. Or the emotional support for carrying the vicarious trauma home with them every day - it's totally draining and emotionally exhausting and impossible to leave at the classroom door. It's like mum guilt except you feel like you're failing a whole lot more children every single day and can't do much or anything about it.

If my children find themselves in similar classes (they're not yet school age), I'd move them if it impacts on a love of learning. And advocate for the class teacher because I've been that teacher.

This caused even more issues in my last school. One carer (by guardianship order) spent half a day sobbing in the SENCOs office because it was their child being spoken about on the WhatsApp in such degrading and negative ways. Their child with severe SEN that the carer was already massively struggling with at home and was actively seeking support. But the other parents/carers had no idea.

A whole morning, the SENCO was unavailable to support the school as a result.

With parent council and WhatsApp, it really depends how it's done doesn't it?
If it's 'some horrible kid is ruining my child's life,
the parent must sort it out' then no completely unhelpful.

But using all means available to get a child so unhappy at school they're being violent and the teacher and school better support is a good thing if done without blame.

Sometimes you have to engage anyone you can to get help while trying (I know it's hard) not to say blaming or overly personal things.

But yeah, you put it on the WhatsApp and someone likely to say the wrong thing which is sad.

This.

Keep the focus on your child and the duty of care they have for her.

My child’s school had a similar problem and that child now has a 1-1. There are now zero problems.

It’s a horrible situation. Do you know any of the other parents affected? Could you have a quiet word and ask them to complain in writing, rather than going down the class WhatsApp route? It sounds like the child needs 1 to 1 supervision to keep the other kids safe. It’s going to take a lot of pressure to get that. Be persistent but polite. Put everything in writing and if going to the Head doesn’t work, then go above them.

I'd hope there are other long term strategies in place and the child doesn't become totally dependent on the 1:1 for when the funding runs out!

I think the child was waiting on a diagnosis and then received it so the funding should continue. Here are many children however who have undiagnosed SEN and use violence as a coping mechanism.

I have a lot of teacher friends and from what they say this is a growing problem and many of them are unhappy in their work as they feel unsupported when dealing with behaviour issues.

I do sympathise with you, especially as a lot of it seems to stem from sen children who seem to be untouchable from my experience and never seem to have adequate support in place.

I do wonder how sustainable integration of sen children in mainstream schools is, especially with the apparent increase in sen diagnoses and increase in poor behaviour generally.

Hi again and thank you so much for all of your advice. The boy already has a 1-1. They had gone for their lunch (fair enough) when the boy threatened to stab my daughter in the eye. Apparently there was a large adult presence in the room so it was safe. Except it wasn't.
I don't know what SEN the boy has, and I'm not opposed to SEN children being in the class at all. I'm opposed to violent children. It's all gone in writing this weekend to our director of education, and I am hoping that now the school knows we are concerned, they will keep him away.

Well done.

I was going to write that even if a pupil has special needs, they should know right from wrong . I hope you get somewhere.

After an incident where the problem child hurt a friend of my child, while also hassling them, I decided to withdraw them from school and home school them till high school. I wasn't risking a serious incident that could happen in a moment.