The blethering goes on...thread 2

[ElephantOfRisk]

Still plenty to chat about. Remember this isn't fight club. Nice chatting required.....

@elephantofrisk - really depends who he's interviewing with.
I've been hiring/interviewing recently and while I'm not overly fussed by what the candidate is wearing (as long as it is relatively neutral), I wouldn't guarantee that this would be true for every interviewer in any industry.

Is it a Teams/Zoom interview? Has he looked up standard competency based questions to practice some answers. Is he used to having the video switched on? It might be worth practicing and self recording.

I like interviews to be more organic/conversational, but I'd assume at university/graduate level might be more likely to stick to a formula.

Interviewers generally want candidates to do well, they want to find the one, it's more about finding the right combination of broad skillset/mindset/cultural fit.

As long as he understands it's totally standard not to be successful the first time round, and interviewing is a process with a relatively steep learning curve, but that he'll get there in the long run, then he'll be grand.

I'd say a shirt or at the very least a smart polo shirt. Neat hair. You're surely not going to be turned down for a job for being too smart but it looks like he's made an effort, which shows a real desire for the position.

Thanks both and thanks for all the info @UltraVires.

The interview is for a summer placement in IT as part of his Masters. All I know is that it's expected to last half an hour.

I have talked in general about interviews and how the more you do the better you get and that not getting a job doesn't mean that you weren't necessarily capable, just that they felt a different candidate was a better fit. I've also talked about thinking up examples of scenarios for competency type questions. I've not discussed it too much as I wanted him to enjoy his Christmas and NY without worrying about it too much. I think he been on zoom for some uni stuff. He has applied to about 10 -12 places. This is the first one to respond and offer an interview. We are central belt so most have been Edinburgh or Glasgow as he's not confident enough to apply to ones in London etc. so most are inventively in Financial Services. The one he has the interview for is one of the few that isn't and the only one that is based further away. It's in Aberdeen though so he could move in with his brother for any face to face required, it could be that it's mostly working at home. There might just be a bit competition for this one as although it's a multinational company, it's not FS and isn't a well known name. He could probably have done with having a couple of interviews he would be even less likely to get before this one. He is very academic and is easily looking at a first/distinction (he averages around 90%) so on paper might be more likely to be offered an interview. However his lack of confidence isn't going to sell well in interview.

Anyway, I have some things to work through with him to hopefully get him in as good a place as possible. Thank you.

At the moment he looks like Jesus in sports wear. His hair is down his back, his beard is out of control and he could do with new glasses. I know he has a shirt that might still fit but it's probably more of a casual style though it is plain grey.

He mostly wears grey or black or white and occasionally mixes it up with navy or olive green - i can't see him wearing a polo shirt. I'm on the campaign for a short hair cut and I think he suits a beard but it needs a good trim down. He really needs a stylist who knows what they are doing to suggest and carry out a bit of a makeover.

Would you treating him to a day in Glasgow to get a smart shirt and call into a trendy barbers help?

With the offer of lunch of course

Honestly, I would expect most uni students to be relatively low confidence.
Nobody likes an overly cocky grad ...

As long as he stays true to himself, can talk through examples "of times when..." And it doesn't need to be work or uni related, just his closest experience of it, he'll have put his best foot forward and that's an excellent first step.
The first interview is the hardest, they get less difficult.

There are quite a few non financial organisations that have IT presence East central belt/Edinburgh that might be worth exploring whether they take interns/placements (unless it's based on a shortlist predefined by his uni).
It's no fun being a first timer at the moment, hopefully he gets some face to face time.

Thanks both. He's applied for every suitable advertised vacancy he or I have found. But haven't randomly approached anywhere yet. I want to say the Uni have been no help but that would be unfair as I have no idea if or what help is available. Technically he doesn't want to do it. It's worth 20% of his mark for the year so of course he's worked out that if he keeps top notch on everything else he can still get a 1st/distinction without any marks for the placement... I'm selling the fact that if he gets a decent placement and does well when there, he might be in a good place for a job offer when he graduates without having to do it all again. He's definitely not cocky, he's probably on the spectrum, we were told when he was about 12 that he'd be borderline and he's currently not open to to do any investigation as an adult.

That would be a lovely idea @ssd. I'm certainly open to that. I did a bit of a google and found a place locally that does long to short restyles for men together with general barbering and beard trims etc. Had a look at their on line booking and no appointments until mid Feb! The other issue is that he doesn't know what he wants, will barely speak to them and he's beyond the stage of his mammy speaking for him and looking like a controlling mother.

I can't take him to my normal girl (as I could explain to her as she knows me) as she is off on mat leave so I don't even know where I'm going to get mine done.

There are loads of trendy beardy barbers in Glasgow. Urbane barbers and handsome jacks being two that spring to mind... even the barbers in Asda (Govan) look quite beardy.

Mohair is a really cool barber. Beards are de rigeur. Only place DS will go.

Nice cafe near it too

Thanks both, i'll check those out. I think the hair will be more of a problem than the beard. I don't think he wants a short barber type cut, just something shorter than he has now though I'll be trying to get him to go proper short. So I suspect he'll need a barber for the beard and a hairdresser for the hair. The one i'd found did both men's and womens hair and barbering services so looks like exactly what he needs but no availability before the interview.

Maybe go and get his beard all done nicely and then either find a hairdresser or get him to tie it back or something. DH has spent their whole lives telling DSs that he's never met a man with a ponytail that wasn't an arsehole so whilst they've both spent a lot of time with long hair, they've never tied it back.

He probably doesn't really need to go short. As long as it's a good cut (not all scraggy at the ends) washed, conditioned and given a good comb then it will probably look smart enough. Long beards are trickier to look smart though so probably a good trim would be best.

DH is in IT and dresses very casually for work now but when he was in more junior roles he wore a shirt, trousers and smart shoes. This was a few years ago now though. I think you can never be over dressed for an interview by wearing a shirt though.

Do you know who's interviewing him? Is it the technical team or HR? If it's the technical team then I wouldn't massively worry about lack of confidence as long as he can answer questions accurately. DH isn't a confident person and it hasn't held him back in IT.

Happy new year.

My current role was interviewed on teams. I still made an effort to look smart and had my notes with me. I was stressed about it but found it much better than face to face.

One of my interviewers said someone was upside down the whole interview and they struggled not to laugh.

thanks @shouldistop. I think he is in the right arena for his personality though I have explained that there are IT jobs that do require a more outgoing personality, such as project planning/change type people or IT support. I have no idea who is interviewing him, but yes a focus on the facts of what he can do would be a lot easier and the other stuff e is there to learn. It's an internship, not a job as such, so technically they should be looking for people who would best benefit from what they can offer but I appreciate it doesn't always work like that.

I think I need to have a proper sit-down and see if I can get any actual opinion on how he wants to look as he doesn't proffer any views.
other than by what he chooses to wear from the options I have purchased and then I've bought more of what he seems to wear. He has never bought himself anything. So I then have a choice of waiting it out (he's still wearing pants he has worn since he was a teenager, or buying him stuff for birthdays and Christmas as I don't want him going about looking any more of a mess than he needs to. His hair etc is the same.

I'm thinking a collared shirt (bottom half shouldn't matter but i'll say his dark jeans just in case), get his beard tidied and shorter and neat and his hair clean and at least trimmed. It's quite curly and goes into ringlets so maybe combed so it is still curly but back off his face. Or short if he wants to go there...

The shirt he has will be fine, plain grey, semi formal and button down collar - if it still fits. Happy to take him shopping though.

That all sounds good @ElephantOfRisk. No need for short hair, I don’t think. Nicely groomed beard and he’ll be fine. 😊

I trimmed his hair about a year or so ago just to level it out but he hasn't had a haircut for over 3 years now. Both DSs have had long or short hair at times growing up. I've always left it up to him but i suspect it's long simply because he doesn't know what else to do with it now.

I'm making a chocolate orange cake for DH's birthday tomorrow (basically making up the recipe by adding zest and juice to a chocolate cake recipe) and I can't decide between a chocolate orange buttercream or a chocolate orange ganache for the filling/icing. I've never made the latter but I want to make it special for DH so it seems like a good option. What would you do?

Ganache, definitely! Sounds delicious

I’d also decorate it with chocolate orange segments thus requiring me to buy a chocolate orange and test it

We've just taken down all the Christmas decorations, put the tree outside to be chopped up and given the place a good Hoover. Feels good to have it all fresh, going to open all of the windows in the house tomorrow for a couple of hours which is no small task as there's bloody loads of them and I have to climb up ladders for some of them. They could all do with a really good clean inside but I don't think I have it in me

I've just spend the day sorting the kids' outgrown clothes and toys. The charity shop will cry when they see is coming. We got rid of loads but there's still so much crap. Trying to have a beer and relax but the children have decided to reenact the royal rumble on the floor in front of me. Why do they always want what the other has??? And why are they always willing to fight to the death to achieve it??

Another ganache vote from me @GrouchyKiwi.

This has just reminded me I still have a chocolate orange from Christmas to eat. Too. Much. Chocolate.

Ganache it is. And if I muck it up I can do a butter cream.

I have orange dark chocolate to grate for the topping, but maybe I'll buy a chocolate orange too.

Sounds fab Kiwi but I think you better get 2 chocolate oranges, just in case one gets accidentally eaten broken.