Thanks mumofhunter and lastkisstoo. Honestly though, it’s less ‘eloquence’ and more that these thoughts are well rehearsed: I have spent hours and hours and hours over the years staring into an abyss and trying to understand how to carve a happy life out of awful conditions. I have been in training for this COVID things for YEARS. It would out me to say which country I come from, but I can tell you it’s extremely poor, food shortages, no healthcare and low life expectancy. Now dealing with COVID too, but who knows how bad it is because the government can’t afford to test.
Callisto, senga - yes, I think it is abstract for many. One of my ‘survival tools’ has always been to use analogy to put distance between myself and an event, mainly to try control panic and find a way to logically get a handle on things. Hence the sniper analogy. I do think that’s a fair comparison because more have died so far than casualties during the blitz. I’d even go further to say, if it was snipers and bullets we were dealing with, we’d probably be in a better position because we have the tools (trained army) and experience to sort it out. That isn’t the case with COVID, which is why I find it so frightening.
Dinosaur - it was a Northern Irish guy many years ago who helped me find my way forward. Things were bad. There were protests at home and my government turned out the army and was killing people. I was distraught and telling friends at Uni. Everyone was murmuring and gently sorry, but this guy just looked at me and said, ‘You’re going to have to learn to deal with it, because it’s not going to change and it might get worse’. And he told me about growing up in NI. I’ll be forever grateful to him. For being brave enough to be so blunt. He was totally right.
Senga - on risk. It isn’t true that I’m not willing to accommodate risk. It’s more that for risk to be realistically managed, it requires everyone to understand what risk is and be prepared to adjust. When a parent at my school thinks it’s unfair to send a child home for a cough (because all children get sniffles etc) then I despair.
Also, on risk, I don’t think ordinary people know how to evaluate risk properly. I am no expert and would love a real expert to engage with this, but, for example, the fact that cases are low is not enough. You need to balance both ‘likelihood’ and ‘consequence’ to objectively assess risk.
To try get an impartial grip of my anxiety, I (inexpertly) used a risk matrix off the net to help me (see image). I did it first. I decided it was ‘Unlikely’ the children would come into contact with the virus because numbers were low, but looking at consequence, if DH or I became ill it would be either ‘Major’ or ‘Catastrophic’ because of DH’s underlying health condition. This means my risk assessment is that sending the children to school is ‘high risk’.
I then asked DH to do it without telling him what I arrived at (he uses risk matrixes all the time). He put likelihood at ‘Possible’ and consequence at between Major and Catastrophic. So his assessment of the risk is either ‘High’ or ‘Extreme’.
If I said to people, objectively, for us, sending our kids to school currently is either High risk, or an Extreme risk, they’d think we were just ‘feart’. But we’re not. Now if we were to also factor in Granny - who is 84, has an underlying health condition, and suffers from dementia. It gets worse....
DH then said that to address the risk, we’d either need to introduce measures to reduce likelihood on the matrix or reduce consequence. We can’t do much about consequence, but as treatments and/or vaccine emerge that will come down. So all we have to play with at the moment is ‘likelihood’.
I don’t think the government has done all it can to deal with likelihood. Unfortunately, there is a LOT of resistance from many to many things that can reduce likelihood. There are also people who - incredibly - think the consequence of contracting COVID will almost certainly, for them, be ‘Minor’ or ‘Negligible’. They assume this likelihood for themselves - without any evidence to support it - and behave accordingly.
If it was bullets and snipers, however, the consequence is visually gory and horrific enough for people to automatically prioritise that over likelihood