AIBU to not go to DS' parent's evening?

[rogueantimatter]

He's S6. Hoping to do a course at a conservatoire - his application is already in. If he doesn't get in this year he intends to do a gap year to get more experience and develop his skills- there is a recognised pathway for this very purpose - and if after that he still doesn't get in he'll apply for a uni course. His grades are above the minimum requirements for the type of course he'd do at uni. His conservatoires application is in. (Yesss)

The evening is shared with S5 parents so the teachers will be super busy and I spoke to his guidance teacher recently. And if I went I'd have to rearrange my work which is doable but not ideal.

However it would be nice to meet his teachers nosey and I can't shake the feeling that I might be being negligent or have the school think I'm uncaring.

I'd go (my dd1 is in S5) just to touch base and check in with teachers, especially if the "in between" year is a possibility - my dd1 is planning on Glasgow School Of Art with the option for a portfolio year if she doesn't get in next year and i think keeping in touch with the appropriate subject teachers is really important.
Good luck to your ds for Conservatoire entrance - its a fantastic opportunity.

I didn't go to my DD's S6 parents evening, from S1 to S5 the parents evenings always said the same things and I was basically in and out the meetings in 5 mins.

I didn't go to DD1's S6 Parent's Evening as I was at the other side of the desk elsewhere. Any other time this happened DH has gone but for S6 we felt "this time next year" and her interim report had been fine.

As a teacher with 30 in each Higher class my priority would be S5 andS6 resits who needed the qualification . AH or pupils picking it back up in S6 would be a luxury my meagre appointments wouldn't stretch to.

That said DD2 is now in S6 and fannying about something awful. I'd love to tell them to give her no quarter and here's a leaver's form. I am also cripplingly aware of appalling stats of young people who complete S6 with feck all but a prom dress and leaver's hoodie.

But as your DC is not in that category think of it as altruism as you let someone else have the appointment

Can you email the Head of Year/his Pastoral Care teacher to say that unless they advise otherwise, you don't feel the need to attend, especially as you know that they're very busy?

That way, you show that you care - but given them the opportunity to raise any specific issue but from the sound of it, there won't be any

I'm dreading the chaos that I expect a joint S5/6 parents night will bring. S5 and S6 are pretty much the same size as any other year as they have very few leavers. At least it is less subject teachers to see though. If your DS happens to go to the same school as my DS then I'd consider it a favour if you didn't bother :o

Good point wankershackabdtheives: ds' school's S6 is something like 155, compared to an S5 of 185. So non-attenders would be welcome.

Thanks for the replies - great to see things from a teacher's POV.

According to DS one of his AH subjects is appointment by invitation only - the teacher asks to see the parents of any pupils who are causing concern.

Hopefully that won't be DS.

weegiemum - thank you for the kind wishes - DD has a couple of friends at GSA. They both love it. One did the portfolio prep year first at Cardonald College and loved that too. I think all the students on the course got places at good art schools.

Prettybird - thank you for your suggestion. There's a bit on the form to say if you're not going so I'll add a proviso.

Great. That's that sorted.

I wouldn't think you didn't care if you were the parent of one of my S6 pupils and you had attended most other parents evenings.
If there are no concerns then all is well.
And TBH - if there were concerns they should be brought up before parent's night.
The parents we really want to see are those that never bother coming - if you catch my drift...

I didn't go to DD1's S6 parents night. She had all the qualifications she needed for her uni course and was breezing through S6, doing some fill-in subjects, getting involved in school activities, etc.
Also, I saw her as a young adult and felt she should/could manage her studies herself and should liaise with her teachers directly.
If there had been a problem, of course I'd have intervened but she was mature and responsible and it was unnecessary.

Thanks for the advice.

I agree with stepping back at this stage. TBH I wish his school would treat the S6 pupils more like pupils at a sixth form college too. Eg he got a demerit for being late. This school is new to him - he missed the bus one morning, phoned me, I called the school office to let them know, thinking I was being helpful, still a text appears later in the day to inform me he got a demerit for "indiscipline in class" - it was for being late. Demerit for forgetting to bring a text book in another day.

That's awful Rogue.

I don't think ds' school even does "de-merits" - but I do know that in S6, they see their role as very much one of preparing the pupils to be self-sufficient and to accept self-responsibility.