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A place for stay at home mums and dads to discuss life as a full-time parent.


Do you feel proud to be a SAHP?

57 replies

Alyssum34456 · 07/06/2020 18:47

Just that really! I feel like it's still not always taken very seriously and having being brought up in a family with a breadwinner do, I do battle with myself whether it is the right choice for me. I respect other people for their choice.

Do you feel proud and do you think other people, including partners, feel the same?

OP posts:

SnowWhite33 · 08/06/2020 12:48

As other posters said proud is not the word I would use. I would not have used it during the 10 years working FT either.

I feel lucky, privileged and content with my choice. I'm SAHM by choice and we are lucky to be financially comfortable with this choice. I grew up with a FT working single mother and had to do things for myself and by myself from an early age. I have nothing but admiration for my mum as I realise how hard it must have been for her but I am very happy I can be at home with my children and things with them I did not get to do with my mum. Not just in the early years but later during school years as well


worzelsnurzel123 · 08/06/2020 13:00

I definitely felt a bit ashamed not to be working. When I went back to work I felt much better. It’s not really a job like any other job. It’s a role. You are only benefiting and contributing to your own family really unless you volunteer etc. It’s bloody tough being at home with kids but it’s not a job, you are not employed.


SoupDragon · 08/06/2020 13:02



justanotherneighinparadise · 08/06/2020 14:18

This is the toughest bloody non-job I’ve done! If I were being paid I would resign.


Pumpertrumper · 09/06/2020 07:30

So I’ve been sick in bed (not CV) for the past 2 full days and DH has been solely caring for 3 month old DS (bringing him in for feeds but other than that).

DH is a hospital Dr. Long hours, extremely hard work. Last night he crawled into bed and with a look of terror asked ‘do you think you’ll be well enough to help tomorrow? I’m not sure I can do another full day alone. He’s’.

^SAHP’s do not get the kudos they deserve


Raaaa · 09/06/2020 08:05

I don't think I've got it in me I was climbing the walls towards the end of maternity leave


sexyomelette · 19/06/2020 12:25

Some of the sentiment on here is very sad, I mean the people who don't feel they are contributing as not working or in some way feel ashamed.

Why are so many of the caring professions which are often unpaid and thankless such being a SAH parent or caring for elderly parents looked on with such disdain? It actually makes me quite angry to think people only associate value with financial return. Funnily enough it's often traditionally female work what a surprise!

It sounds like capitalist money obsessed culture has tainted some people minds and ideas of what it is to be valuable.

So many jobs in the private sector are about selling crap to people that isn't really needed! So for example you're saying someone who works to create, sell or market a load of crap that no one really needs and ultimately pollutes the world is contributing more than a SAHP?

I'm not slating the whole private sector but just encouraging people to perhaps get a bit of perspective.

Raising the next generation of adults is pretty important work regardless of it being the mum or dad who does it. It's not just your child your investing in when raising good kids it will have wider benefits for the world beyond your home.

I found being a full time stay at home parent exhausting, hard work and really quite boring and I much prefer working. I was proud that I did it at the time and lucky I could but it wouldn't be my choice as I found it too damn hard.

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