Rural living with teenagers

[BeauticianNotMagician81]

Hi we have recently, finally sold our house. We've moved to a new area, near family and are renting while we search for our forever home.

A beautiful house has come up locally that was available last year but we were not in the position to buy. It's a semi on a country road. Big plot gorgeous gardens and overlooks miles of fields. It's a 3 minute drive into the nearest town with a railway line and a 3 minute drive to a shopping centre in the opposite direction. Is it a no brainer or do you think our teenagers will hate it. They don't go out much other than to walk the dog. They are always on their games consoles. We have two younger boys as well who attend lots of clubs but I tend to drive them anyway.

We did it. Moved from Londin to rural Cornwall. And I've asked my children who now in their early twenties if I ruined their lives. Nope was the answer. They and all their friends learned to drive young in contrast to their city friends (a generalisation but generally true!) many of whose still can't drive. And at 18 they went off to uni anyway. I'd say the burden is on you OP because it's you who'll be driving them around to activities and parties up to the age of 17. So think about whether that's the right thing for yiu.

All this about driving, I don't want to encourage my kids to drive too much. Even though I have an electric car I still think its crap for the planet.

You will be constantly driving them around and they will continually complain. Been there!

All this about driving, I don't want to encourage my kids to drive too much. Even though I have an electric car I still think its crap for the planet

Best not to live in the middle of nowhere then!

I am delighted that mine didn’t need to learn to drive at 17 or 18, that they walked to school 4 -18, walked to friends houses, Cubs and Scouts, have 2 cinemas within walking distance, a bus stop that opens up a travel network to anywhere...

@DeathOrGlory

All this about driving, I don't want to encourage my kids to drive too much. Even though I have an electric car I still think its crap for the planet

Best not to live in the middle of nowhere then!

Yes exactly, thats what I mean. If you are thinking of moving to middle of nowhere to enjoy the countryside, buts its OK, the kids will soon learn to drive, you aren't really doing right by the planet.

We were visiting one of my favourite villages this week, there are two houses there we could easily buy, so I asked my teen if he would like to live there. His answer. “I’ll rather die”.

Truth is that I want to enable my teen to be independent, to meet with friends, to get a job, and that is NOT ever going to happen while he’s relying on me for lifts for everything. So I asked the question but I was already clear I wouldn’t do that to him, I spent 2 years in my 20s in a small village 3 minutes away from a city but with crap public transport connections... the most miserable lonely 2 years of my life. I wouldn’t do that to my child.

And walking in green verges in the rain in the dark is the perfect recipe for him to be run over while trying to avoid the mud. Honestly...

Truth is that I want to enable my teen to be independent, to meet with friends, to get a job, and that is NOT ever going to happen while he’s relying on me for lifts for everything

It really depends on individual circumstances doesn't it? I grew up in a smallish village. One cornershop, nothing else. The nearest village to us with a train station was 7-8 minutes drive. From there you could get the train to the nearest city. Me and all my friends lived in small villages around this same area. One larger village had a school, and school buses took us there and back, driving through the villages picking everyone up. We all had part-time jobs from 16+, we all had friends and social lives, we all grew up just fine.

I think growing up in a place is different, you find more of a network.

I get the planet and driving thing . But given our countryside has to be populated for all manner of reasons economic and otherwise, cars are a reality. So within those parameters I'm offering g the workable solution we had.

Crikey the number of 4wd vehicles which used to hove up the gates at our state primary in SW London was eye watering! And they all lived within walking distance or on a bus route. We did walk by the way.
So my point is very few people come up smelling of roses in the car debate.

As for independence, my kids had to drive to a station, park, and have a multiple hour journey or overnight stay to their uni open days at 17 and 18. And couldn't pop home at weekends in the first year like so many others did. So they DO learn independence

And we're lucky to be in a tourist area too so they they both had holiday jobs from the age of 15,
Something their old primary friends were frankly in awe of!

One larger village had a school, and school buses took us there and back, driving through the villages picking everyone up.

Do school buses still do this now?

I grew up in the countryside. I had to keep asking my parents for lifts, and when they didn't feel like taking me, I missed out. My best friend lived five miles away in a different village. Yes, buses finished at 6pm! I was sooo bored and rarely left my bedroom. I left it behind at 19 and never looked back.

@Fedup21 Yes of course they do

It was great while I was in primary school. When I went to secondary school I hated it. Moved out at 18.

We moved to a village with a mainline station a 20 minute bike ride from my house when I was thirteen. I loved it. My friends and I would go all over our region on the train. To our nearest city to the theatre and Saturday shopping or out to the seaside and theme park. We also cycled to all the local national trust places and got in by pretending to be sisters on one girl's family card 🤣. Lots of pony riding too. Loved it all but I was / am very outdoorsy and outgoing 😊

My dd's friends live rurally and hate it, it is a complete PIA. They have to rely in parents to go everywhere and seem to invite everyone to theirs. I think it means they do not have to drive their kids and everyone comes to them

So restricting for everyone- parents and kids.

Good to teach and enable independence. Difficult to do if you live away from bus/train routes.

@Hedgesfullofbirds I just read your description of rural living... and my gosh what amazing description! Are you an author? If so please let me know.. I’d love to read more of your writing. I’ll be reading your post to my 10 yr old dd who loves the country life!