Rural living with teenagers

[BeauticianNotMagician81]

Hi we have recently, finally sold our house. We've moved to a new area, near family and are renting while we search for our forever home.

A beautiful house has come up locally that was available last year but we were not in the position to buy. It's a semi on a country road. Big plot gorgeous gardens and overlooks miles of fields. It's a 3 minute drive into the nearest town with a railway line and a 3 minute drive to a shopping centre in the opposite direction. Is it a no brainer or do you think our teenagers will hate it. They don't go out much other than to walk the dog. They are always on their games consoles. We have two younger boys as well who attend lots of clubs but I tend to drive them anyway.

Yes @sageandroses, absolutely, I am commenting from my own personal perspective, and have lost sight of the OP's original thread, hence it is only right that I should not make any further observations - teenage leisure activities have moved on since the halcyon days, long, long ago when I was one myself!

Sorry @Hedgesfullofbirds I spoke sharply. I'm guilty of that sometimes. For what it's worth I like living rurally as an adult! When my kids are a bit older though we plan on moving somewhere else rural.

Thank you @sageandroses - as it is I am in the greenhouse, listening to the thunder, enjoying the welcome, and much needed rain, potting up young plants and sowing seeds (so not totally idle!), watching the woodpeckers on the peanut feeders and my bees venturing out to forage between the showers, but appreciate that this lifestyle is not for everyone and others have different priorities and interests! I have no children of my own, but a teenage stepdaughter who I adore and dote on - who, it must be said, would prefer to live somewhere less rural😂

@Hedgesfullofbirds Sounds very nice!

In my last post there's a typo - I meant we would move somewhere less rural when the kids were older - not else. They love rural life as small children though.

Thank you so much for all your input. We looked at the house today. We all loved the house. The garden is ridiculously big. We have four boys that love the outdoors. But there really isn't anything in the way of footpaths. It's a little further out than we thought too.

We asked the older boys and both loved it but one said "mum I don't want you to have to drive to the shop every time we want milk or bread as I like going". I think we would also find it tricky to find a safe dog walking route. Such a shame as it's sooo beautiful.

I'm pleased I asked as the heart would have ruled my head. We moved to this area before lockdown. We have had to relocate to be near family. Currently living in a rental in a tiny village but there are two shops and a very good bus service. The children haven't used the bus service as yet due to lockdown but it's nice knowing that it's there. Our younger children go to a tiny village school about 2 miles away. We are going to concentrate our search around that area. Lots of beautiful countryside but a few shops and again good transport links. We just want to get it right.

@BeauticianNotMagician81 - good luck with whichever decision you choose to make

I have three teenagers and we live away from the villages ( 2 miles in either direction). I'm teaching them to drive early but otherwise they understand the trade off between easy access to shops for gorgeous surroundings to live in. But then we are all animal lovers and adore having our ponies potter up to the back door or laughing at the cats and dogs playing in the garden. Each to their own.

I grew up in a house up a long path from the village, and the village was in the middle of nowhere.

Absolute nightmare.

4DC aged 13-21, no public transport, 4 miles to nearest small town ( that they are unimpressed with!) 8miles to bigger town ( which they like) .
They grew up here so don't know any different and eldest two are now driving which is a relief but expensive!
I would look into bus routes etc and see if you a) on one and b) how regular it is.
A regular bus service is a game changer,without one you will be tied to school runs until they leave secondary school and will be forever ferrying them around for social activities too. Its a bind so you have to make sure you are prepared to do it ( after all they dont get to choose where they live) and that the house and location ares worth it!
Bare in mind walking along country roads is often dangerous, no street lights or footpaths, blind spots and cars haring along at speed, our nearest bus stop is 3 miles away and I wont let my DC walk to it.

We made the move to a rural location 3 years ago and we have never looked...

My two tween DC are very horsey (we brought our pony with us and acquired another couple) joined Pony Club and they have the absolute best childhood...

Yes we have to ferry them around a lot to parties, gymnastic lessons, activity centres but none of us would change it for the world, and surely most of that is just being a parent (I think we would still be collecting teens from social events regardless where we lived)

We aren’t well off by any stretch of the imagination, but sitting with my cup of tea and hearing the clip clop of them riding past the gate in the morning, them cycling home with their baskets full of picked blackberries in the late summer and their little village school with its Apple pressing, duck race days and resident school donkey is the best childhood I could ever hope to given them.

We aren’t well off by any stretch of the imagination

1. you own horses
2. you can afford to rent/buy a filed for said horses

In the nicest possible way, your idea of 'not very well off' is out of the league of me and most of my kids friends.

We think twice before getting a dog.

Yes, it is a lovely life with horses clip clopping past the door.

It is a less lovely life if you worry about how much petrol is in the car and if you can afford to nip into town again this week.

I'm not criticising you specifically, it works for you which is great, but as has been said a few times in this thread, the country is a much nicer place when you can afford it.

I lived rurally. Hated it.

@steppemum agree, pony club and 3+ horses and gymnastic lessons is well off.

Ok possibly If you were to look at us on us paper this is how we could come across but we have no holidays, our car is an 2012 plate, and I own 2 bras one of which is held together with a safety pin.

We have found our feet in a lovely place but it’s a working farming area rather than just an affluent one!

They don't go out much other than to walk the dog. They are always on their games consoles.

This would worry me more than a few mins drive to drop them with friends of an evening and again to collect them. Why don't they socialise? Covid excepted of course

When I was 13 my parents moved into a house a mile away from the main road, nearest shop, there was only street lights the first half a mile of the road and it was a little single track lane with fields and trees on either side. I hated it my friends never wanted to visit it was too far for them to walk, in the winter I'd be walking home from school in the dark, I'd be really scared on the bit where there was no lights, when I started college I had to leave the house at 5.30 to get there for 9 because I had to get 2 buses then a train, I gave up on the course after 6 months because it was so difficult to get there and to the placements I needed to do, I left home as soon as I could because i felt so isolated there. 30 years later my parents still live there they complain we never visit them, my husband refuses to drive up there because the single track road is full of potholes I dont know how many times me or my parents have had to replace the coil springs on our cars

No, I would always worry about them on the roads at night/if they've had a few.
My parents did this to me so I always dated older blokes with cars which they didnt really approve of either!
I think with 4 kids you'd do nothing but drive them around!

My sister lives in a large city with very good public transport including a tram system. She spends her life ferrying her children (teenagers) around because they do loads of sport and even good public transport doesn't necessarily get them to where they need to be quickly.

@cuntryclub Ds1 is autistic so socialising isn't really for him. Ds2 goes out more but likes to be with his brother. There is a leisure centre within walking distance of where we are now which they are both waiting to re open fully to get back into swimming and basketball.

I lot of hate for the rural!

Op, I grew up in a large village/small town. Loads of facilities. Never used them as all my friends lived in the next large village 20 minutes bus ride away. Bus stopped at 10pm.

My niece and nephew live in a large village/small town. Both teenagers. Nephew spends all his spare time in Xbox live. Niece want to see her bff 15 minutes drive away.

We live semi rurally. The school catchment is large and mainly rural so all kids are in the same position and no buses.

Main activities for teens are ponies (lots of farmers), bikes, Xbox live, parties in people's outbuildings. It's not that people are wealthy, just that space is cheaper rurally and a lot of adults set up party barns. Used by adults and kids. You don't need everyone to have this, just some of them.

So nothing is perfect op. A lot depends on who and where their friends are. Where they go to school. What their interests are.

Live where you want, your teens will be gone in a few years. Just get used to running them everywhere, including picking them up from parties at 3 in the morning.

If Google Maps states a 30 minute walk, that means more like 15 mins for a healthy teenage, I really cannot understand why so many people think that is a barrier to them having any kind of social life? I would expect 4 siblings to quickly figure out (with some help from parents) a safe route that they can confidently travel at any time of day or night.
OP, you'd only become a taxi service if you let it happen.

My friend's parents moved to a very remote village when she was a teenager. There was one town on the coast where the secondary school was and that became the meeting up point because everyone was so spread out.

Parents who think there aren't drug issues in the country are deluding themselves and that where there is a choice between walking home after a few drinks or getting a lift with some dodgy bloke who wants a blowjob in payment - there will be times when the blowjob will seem like a much better idea than the walk.

A party that finishes at 3am for a teen rarely means public transport is available wherever you live. I wouldn't want my teen doing that on their own. I wouldn't want to do that on my own!

Would also say with 4 children, one of them will hate the location wherever you end up. For any number of reasons. It's unlikely all their friends and activities will be accessible to them without your help.

Weigh up the pros and cons. See what you can get to from a house.

We are living on a edge of town location for the next 5 years while my teen boys get to 18, they have access to bus routes, trains, food outlets etc.. personally I'd move tomorrow I really don't like the location I'd rather be in a village with a country pub!

But I've just thought 5-6 years for the family life, it suits them I'm can live with it and then we will move, not far at all just to a local village.