Building A Social Network and Routine After Early Retirement

[buildingbonfires]

Anyone had to build up social network and routine after retiring?

I am awaiting an assessment for autism which might explain some difficulties I have had in creating a social network over my lifetime. Also with starting new things. I have slid into early retirement due to compounding health difficulties. I have children at home. DH working. No older relatives to care for.

I have an interest which has created some social life but I would benefit from more routine and structure that would bring me into contact with people.

Did anyone retire not having anything to go to and have to build a new way of life? I do have some friends but most are either physically impaired (and I am reasonably active) or still working. Energy levels are varying currently.

Do you have a local U3A?

We moved to a new area when we retired away from existing family and friends so we had to build up a new network.

I found signing up to the local u3a very useful - we both joined several classes (some together, some separately) which added structure to most days and was a good way to meet people of similar ages and interests.

As all the u3as run independently of each other, the classes on offer will vary but there is likely to be one fairly local to you - you can look them up here.

u3a - u3a Locations

I know you mention health difficulties (I have rheumatoid arthritis) so this may seem like a mad idea but our local leisure centre/gym and pool has been amazing since I retired.
The I instructors have made me a personalised plan and there are lots of easier classes to go to.
It's a lovely friendly and supportive place to go to and I've been amazed at the numbers of retired people there.
All for £33 a month.
Also our local library is a community hub with a cafe and lots going on.

I'm only 3 months in, and one month into membership of a brilliant womens gym group. They have classes at set times each day, and so, attending the 930 one each day, I am getting to know the other 930 attendees. They turn out to be largely retired, as those with work commitments have come earlier in the day. There is something which breaks down lots of barriers when you're all helping each other in the class and really pushing yourself. Hope you find something similar.

Thank you all for your responses. I have been considering joining a gym but not sure which one to choose. I think I would opt for a womens gym if there was one with a pool but I don't think there is unfortunately. There are about 3 gyms that are reasonably accessible so its about choosing one and joining I guess.
I have a love of the outdoors. I think my strong autistic traits make it difficult for me to enjoy walking groups etc as I prefer to be alongside one or two likeminded people. I'm thinking of organising something myself as I have a very small circle of ND friends who might be interested in walking together.

Anyone volunteered? Again, uncertain which avenue to pursue. I don't want to start something then quit. So much easier with work - you have a ready made social circle, job to do etc. I find it very difficult to build a new routine especially as I need to find more of my tribe to thrive. I think I will duplicate this post on the ND board.

If you are not sure which gym to go to, try them all out. Most will have some kind of introductory offer. Once you have tried them all, you can choose the one that feels most comfortable.

One of the joys of retirement is that you can try new things - U3A, volunteering, classes, art, whatever interests you. If you try something and find it doesn't suit, no harm done, you don't have to continue.

Thank you Dwarf. It's really hard trying new places out but I'm thinking that is the way forward. To try lots of things until something settles.

The other thing I'm struggling with is that I have to spend money to do these things versus earning money. It is a really difficult thing for me to get my head around.

The hardest part is not having friends to do stuff with. Trying new places and hoping to make new friends feels really really difficult.

I have ADHD (2 of my kids have ASD) so I know what you mean about worrying about social relationships. I love meeting new people but I can be a bit too enthusiastic! I invite everyone over to mine for coffee and then tell them my life history within 2 minutes of meeting them 😳.
Maybe you are overthinking how much social involvement you'll need?
How often do you actually want to meet up with people? I find lunch out or a coffee morning in someone's house, once or twice a week is about all I can manage right now as I'm still recovering from burnout. I recently joined a craft class and found I didn't want to talk to anyone at all!
DH and I joined U3A as it's a bargain (£10a year) but all local groups vary and ours felt like it was for people a lot older than us. Maybe we will revisit that in a few years.

We have a lovely financial advisor and he said the biggest shift when retiring is moving from an acquisitive mindset, where you are building up wealth, to one where you have to start spending that money. But that is why you spent so long paying into your retirement pot, it's what it's for! It's one heck of an adjustment though and I still panic that I'm not earning.