I see that most of the threads here are focussed on finance, so I'm not sure whether this is the best place for this, but here goes. It's long because I wanted to include some detail.
I've worked since I was 12. My parents ran a business and I was expected to work after school and at weekends. I worked during university holidays. For 20 years I had a day job and also did freelance work on the side in order to save for a house deposit and then pay the mortgage. Until early last year, when the organisation I worked for (an arts-based research institute) closed down and we were all retired or made redundant I had worked 44 years straight since graduating. No children, so no maternity breaks etc. I was fortunate because for the last 19 years I'd really enjoyed my work and the people I worked with. So not working is something new to me.
My partner seized the opportunity to retire too (he's 18 months younger than me) and we travelled for six months and then came back to get on with the next stage of our lives. DP has thrown himself into a local charity he's been peripherally involved with for years, taken up rowing and cycling and spends the rest of his time gardening and doing DIY. He's loving it.
I've not found it so easy. I joined a few classes (pottery, art, pilates, the usual suspects) and while I enjoy them and it's nice to chat and meet new people, I haven't gelled in the fairly easy way I've been used to in the past. I no longer seem to fit in anywhere. I got elected onto the local community council, only to find that it was a hotbed of vicious infighting and machismo. When I left after 10 months the clerk to the CC said that in her three years in post I'd been the only reasonable councillor she'd worked with. I CVS volunteer service which places people with skills in groups or charities that need those skills. I was placed in a voluntary sector organisation, working one day a week. The manager who recruited me was seemed enthusiastic. I had the induction and spent a day or two seeing what they did and where I might fit in and be useful. Then he went off sick and that was it: despite calling or emailing the organisation each week or so to remind them I'm here and happy to help, there's been tumbleweed for months.
I'd always thought I'd do an MA in retirement and went to an open day for mature students. It was the opposite of inspiring and instead of signing up I came home disillusioned. The professor I spoke to suggested a PhD but I really don't want to spend three years learning a lot about a very small subject area.
I even enquired at the local bridge club to see if there were any lessons for beginners and was told very snootily that they didn't accept beginners...
In short, I can't seem to find my retirement tribe. I'm too academic for the arty, woo-ish paint and pottery crowd, not tough enough to deal with the rough and tumble of community politics, too committed to freedom of thought and speech to thrive at university and I'm not even wanted to work for free. My confidence and self-esteem is at an all time low. Even my partner has commented that I probably need to go back to work.
Would someone please assure me that I'll find a way through this!