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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

’Ultimatum’ proposals / engagements - do they work out?

101 replies

buswankerr · 24/05/2023 18:47

I am all for women letting men know what they want and expect. But when a proposal is requested as an ultimatum, in your experience how do the relationships typically turn out? Overall is there insecurity in the relationship or do you think some people just need a push and it’s happily ever after?

I think that if you’re telling someone to propose that essentially you’re proposing 🤣. But I think somehow that’s a different vibe to a woman just proposing - again I am all for it!

This is just a pondering, it’s not a situation I’m in personally.

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 27/05/2023 18:27

It's the lack of open discussion that's the problem. I cannot imagine any circumstances in which I would get married, but I am, and always have been, completely open and clear about this. A man who knows a woman wants to be married, and stalls and delays and is nor clear about his feelings is an arsehole-and will be an arsehole in other ways. Women also need to stop regarding marriage as any sort of guarantee. A man who treats her like shit when they are not married will treat her like shit when they are.

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