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Relationships

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Original poster

sister in laws.. do you like yours?

76 replies

Tarzanna · 18/08/2005 21:42

I have a sil who is identical in age to me, went to same university at same time and has similar interests to me. However she is completely uninterested in me often to the point of being rude. Her children are now beginning to copy her and extend that same "friendliness".. not.. to my kids. Can take it for myself but cannot bear to see my kids treated badly. Only problem is her husband who is very nice is dh's only family member. Any tips?

OP posts:

milward · 18/08/2005 22:49

Have a sil who ignores me & asks me nothing about myself. She has split from her partner, works & has two kids. I'm a sahm. We stay at my dh parents in the summer & she does nothing for her kids - no trips to see local activities, no meals, no washing, no baths, no entertaining them. She just lets me & dh get on with looking after them & I have 3 of my own as well - whilst she had long lie-ins, read in the sun & swam in the pool all day & every day. She even went back home leaving her youngest kid & just expected me to look after him. I didn't know this was happening until the day before she left. She never discussed or mentioned it to me - dh found out. Her 4yr ran & took his own baths!!! she didn't care. Once he had a nose bleed & I had to ask him to tell his mother but he wouldn't - I made him go to her & she just brought him into the house and went out again. Stress of family holidays - looking forward to xmas.....

jampots · 18/08/2005 22:49

i dont hvae one

Miaou · 18/08/2005 22:50

I've got 3. One is dh's sister - he has very little time for her as she is a serial "user" of people and takes the hump for no reason at all. She hasn't spoken to us in over five years and we've never met her son! The other two are my db's wives - one is lovely, though a lot younger than me, the other is a little odd - she and my brother have split up and sadly we saw it coming before they were even married.

Mary71 · 18/08/2005 22:51

I like them but not seen either of them in 8 years.

steffee · 18/08/2005 23:00

I've got 3 - two I don't know that well and one I know too well. We go from being best of friends to worst enemies continuously. I have four BILs too. All SILs and BILs are my dh's siblings.

Dior · 18/08/2005 23:06

Message withdrawn

Dior · 18/08/2005 23:06

Message withdrawn

QueenOfQuotes · 18/08/2005 23:07

Yes - get on really well with all 3 of them, although 1 I haven't seen since we left Zim, one was living in the UK but has moved back to South Africa and the 3rd is still living in the UK near Southampton.

They're 19, 34 and 36 (I think ) but even DH sometimes forgets how old they are as he didn't most of his growing up he was living with his mum so he didn't really get to know his siblings until he was about 12.

CountessDracula · 18/08/2005 23:09

Yes love em both to bits

sparklymieow · 18/08/2005 23:14

I get on very very well with my oldest SIL, she is great and I love her to bits. I get on ok with my other SIL.

QueenOfQuotes · 18/08/2005 23:16

I also get on well with my 2 BIL too - although both of them are still living in Zim (the older of the 2 BIL's lived with us for a while when we lived out there and he was a complete nutter - in a nice way).

jayzmummy · 18/08/2005 23:19

I loved my SIL dearly. We were extremely close....DH would often comment on how so much closer I was to her than he was.
Notice I said were close...well we were until she walked out of her family home the day after boxing day, left her three children aged 11, 9 and 7 home alone to go and shack up wih some low life, cheating moron!!!!
She has told one lie after another to all the other family members and they believe her. She told DH her children suffocated her emotionally and mentally and that she didnt love them anymore but has told the rest of the family that her DH was having an affair....he was not. She has told all the other family members that her DH beat her children with a wooden spoon....he did not. The children told us that it was their mother who did that!!!!
She cant understand why DH and I have written her out of our lives. We adore her children and as long as they remain with their father we know they will have a stable and loving upbringing. We will support him 100% and will never condone the things she has done.

eidsvold · 19/08/2005 03:30

have two who are married to my brothers and one who is my dh's sister.

Love them all - get on very well with them all. In fact one sil ( married to brother) who has two little ones same ages as my two is FAB. she comes to visit every so often and we take all the kids out and a good time is had by all. She always offers to have the girls for a few hours so dh and I can get out. SHe is fab with dd1 who has sn - in fact looked after her for dh and I the week I was in hospital after caesar with dd2. We talk almost every day - she has been such a huge help with me and dd2.

They are all fab with my girls. Feel sad for dh's sister - living in the UK - she has not seen dd1 for over a year now and has never seen dd2 - next year perhaps!!

KristinaM · 19/08/2005 06:12

I have 6 SILs. Three are just lovely, two of them have older teenaged kids and will come and watch our little ones for us. They have even stayed overnight. One has kids the same age, they live nearby and she is one of my closest friends.

The other three are perfectly pleasant but we are not close.

Reading all this has made me realise how fortunate I am

beep · 19/08/2005 07:28

I have 4,exh's two sisters one I get on well with and still have contact with ,the other I don't dislike just don't have any thing in common with.My brothers exp and mother of his 2 kids i bump into and chat a little,then the mad woman who was once married to my brother used to get on with well when they first were together.Then it became more and more apparent that she has mental health problems.She has done so many awful things to my late bro and the kids, 16 year old son to leave home so he came to live with us.I think her finest moment came after my bro was killed in a car accident,the kids went to see the body with her, the next day she phoned the police and said "thats not my ex husbands body" !!.There was nothing in it for her ,they were divorced, all it achieved was endless hassle for us and her daughter left home that day to live with his partners sister.She didn't see her daughter for several months didn't even try to contact her except for once after two months she phoned her school up to ask where she was!! she didn't know the name of her tutor or what year she was in!!! (the kids are fantastic ,nephew has just got his degree,he did well to get into his uni as his dad died a few months before his a levels and my niece has just passed 4 a levels and has got intio her uni of choice)

IHAVETHESILFROMHELL · 19/08/2005 07:35

I have changed my name for this as i know she often wonders on here.

Basically i have the SIL from hell - she was lovely when we first meet we even did lunch a couplr of times.

We moved into together she became a little weary- saying i was only with him for this money - when as the time it was me with the money.

I got pregnant she acused me of trapping him

We get married -only the night before she phones dh to be and offeres him alot of money not to marry me.

She phones our best friends and offers them a holiday and moeny to persude dh not to marry me.

so there you go.

mumtosomeone · 19/08/2005 07:46

My sister in law is fantastic. funny and fun. I dont see enough of her! when hers were little we used to get together alot. she would catch 2 buses with a baby to see me!!My brother is a bit odd though!!!!
I dont see my other sil much as they live in hereford and we are in yorkshire. she is ok, too.

whimsy · 19/08/2005 08:00

No - I had a disagreement with MIL one night about how I shouldn't say no to my 2 year old (I didn't shout, just said DS don't scribble on nanny's window with pen????) Well I told Mil it was up Dh & myself how we disciplined our child and saying No was not a bad thing to do. Well I got shot down in flames and although I have made it up with Mil, Sil still won't speak to us
Didn't send dh a birthday card, dh went round to see her when she came up in march and thought they'd made up. They've since been up twice more and didn't make contact. We've even had another ds and heard nothing from her - we got a card 2 weeks later, just signed no message. It's her loss, her kids are teenagers now and she's missing out on her nephews growing up . I haven't given mil a photo of baby, as I know she wants to send it to sil.
It's so sad really, as Dh only has 1 sister, his other was killed 4yrs ago (she was lovely).
I keep telling him life is to short (they both should know that more than most)but as time goes by dh dislikes her even more. What's upset him most is that it was anniversary of Sil death in May and we found out that she came up to see In laws and they all had day out and meal together and dh didn't get so much as a phone call.
We are having ds2 baptized next month and dh doesn't want to send her an invitation. I know she won't come but I think we should send her one otherwise they will never make up.

mumtosomeone · 19/08/2005 08:02

Its so sad when families fall out. and usually its about nothing!!
Send an invite then its up to her!

throckenholt · 19/08/2005 09:01

sorry - no advice I don't get on with either of my SILs - just try and avoid confrontation and be polite whenever are in the same space.

MaloryTowers · 19/08/2005 09:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Legacy · 19/08/2005 09:13

I have 2 SILs who are about the same age as me. Although I like them as people, I find it hard to find anythign in common with them, and in may ways they are mini versions of my MIL...

I think that they think I am a career mad,scarily organized machine who doesn't look after their (darling) brother and children enough.

e.g. they came for dinner a few weeks ago and didn't stop making comments about "why didn't I let "poor" DH have some time off, 'cos he looked so tired - he should "put his feet up" a bit more... and this was at the end of a day when I'd come back from work at 6 pm, fed & bathed kids, put to bed.... DH's contribution had been to drive to the Chinese Takeway

In reality I'm the sole breadwinner trying to keep it all together...

basketcase · 19/08/2005 09:15

I suffer from a severe attack of envy and irritation when I think of my sil - gorgeous, tall, elegant, gets on with our mutual parents in law soooo well - they think the sun shines just for her. She is also a peace loving, kind to all, mender of stray bird arms, loads of money, overly intelligent, annoyingly perfect at ironing, dust free home kinda woman....GGGGRRRRRRRR. I admire her - well, to be frank I am amazed. The original stepford wife - or maybe an alien???? jealous? who overwieght, grubby housed, dirty ovened little me??

basketcase · 19/08/2005 09:16

see what my sil does to me???? I talk about birds having arms that is how illogically annoying I find that perfect specimen of sister in lawness to be..

jenk1 · 19/08/2005 09:18

cant stand mine i think she has mental problems,i have been nice to her given her kids clothes,given her things for her house, put up with her nasty snidy comments about my family-who she doesnt even know,put up with her trying to make a spectacle of me on my wedding day,but what i wont put up with is her calling my DS who isnt DH.s biological son, oh and another thing,wnything we buy or get -she has to have the same but a cheaper version, everytime one of my kids are ill-her kids are ill with exactly the same thing,everytime DH dad comes to visit she comes and sits there staring at them both,she,s obsessed and i dont like her...i could go on and on ive only just scratched the surface..phew what a long message!

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