Think I might be pregnant and DP and I are on the verge of splitting up.

[bouncy]

DP moved in several months ago, at first it all seemed to be going well, but lately he has become all jealous over little things.

It all started when we went for a night out with friends, I bumped into an old schoolfriend (male) we never went out or anything, but really had a good laugh at school and I spend about 15 minutes chatting to him, which dp seemed happy chatting to the other group, when we got home he walked straight upstairs got the pillow and duvet and went to sleep on the settee, he completely ignored me for 2 days until I finally got out of him what was the problem. I told him he was being silly, but he still had a cob on for a few days.

The last month has been awful, to make matters worse my best friend has come back from travelling and I have not seen her for 18 months and we have a lot of catching up to do, so I have been going out more. Dp moaned about being left to look after MY son, so I asked mum to look after ds while I went out, this was of course wrong. Anyway later on DP walked into the pub and proceeded to sit down and ruin our night, he took the mickey and belittled me in front of my friend, who is now questioning why I am with him.

To make matters worse, I am 3 days late, and I am never late.

Bouncy, do contact the police. It doesn't matter about private property. There are laws against what he is doing (anti-stalking legislation) and the police will take this kind of harrassment very seriously. I can truly understand why you feel you have to get away, but contact the police first.

hi bouncy,i think moving away is a good idea,he sounds like he could really harm you,hes stalking you and thats a serious crime,have you reported him?

Also, let your work know that he is doing this and ask he security guard to have a word with him. Don't talk to him or respond. Often the realisation that this is serious and a talking to by the police can stop would-be stalkers.

our posts crossed aloha

Bouncy, I feel ill at the way this horror is treating you.

As aloha has said, get in contact with the police, he is stalking and harrassing you. Take out a restraining order. Unless you WANT to move/change job, don't do it on his account, if he is as psycho as he sounds it may not make him disappear anyway.

You showed great strength when you found out you were pregnant, and its terrible your nightmare hasn't ended, but you are strong enough to deal with this again.

Even if you decide to move/change jobs, please please get legal advice about his behaviour. There ARE laws he is breaking.

Bouncy you may be able to get some support here The Network for Surviving Stalking

bouncy I'm sorry too and agree with aloha and pie, you don't have to tolerate this. I hope the police are helpful.

bouncy, like everyone else I am horrified at the way this guy is behaving, I know you don't want to talk to him and he doesn't sound as if he is going to listen to anything you say anyway, but would it be worth trying to tell him that your period was actually only one week late in the end and it's just not possible to have an abortion that quickly?

If it's just "his child" he is obsessing about, rather than you and your ex-relationship, it might make him leave you alone?

Horrible situation for you. Hugs.

Bouncy, please contact the police and don't make any big decisions because of this mans horrible behaviour.

I find it really scary how some people seem to change once a relationship has ended... and wonder whether the real them is finally being uncovered.

Thinking of you and your son Bouncy, take care, Winniex

Message withdrawn

Stalking experts usually advise not to have any contact directly with a stalker, but instead tell your work and security (you don't have to give details, just say you have someone following you and you are worried) and the police. Just hang up if they call, ignore letters etc. I am very sorry this is happening to you. It must be nightmarish. Maybe a good talking to from the police and a total non-reaction by you will make him stop.

bouncy, what did the police say when you spoke to them last week? I know this is a terrible situation for you and your DS but it just seems to me that although yes, he is behaving like a stalker, he really isn't one in the normal sense - he's just a bloke who can't cope with the situation he's got himself into and this is the only thing he can think of to do about it?

If a talking-to by the police will stop him doing it but not go any further then fine; I was just thinking that maybe it might go further, once they are involved, and all you really want is for him to go away and leave you alone.

He can't really be as bonkers as he seems now, can he, or you'd have noticed before? Probably his "friend" has been stirring again and winding him up and encouraging him. If you could tell him somehow (by letter?) that a) it really was a very early miscarriage (give him the dates, even?) and b) you will get the police involved if he doesn't stop right now, he might pull himself together without you having to go to the police again.

I really feel awful for you, I'm sure I couldn't cope if it was happening to me, thinking about you and hoping it works out.

bouncy, this is awful, do get in touch with the police. what a terrible situation.

Bouncy, so very sorry that you have all this to contend with. As the others have said, please contact the police now, your ex has clearly developed some mental health problems. There is good legislation in place to help protect people in your position these days. Please take care of yourself.

I did go away for a few weeks till things calmed down. ex-partner is keeping his distance, might have something to do with a quiet word in his ear from male friends, I did not know they were going to do it, but glad they did.

bouncy how are things now?