Either I'm being paranoid or he's trying to make me think I'm crazy

[ChickenPsyc]

DP has always said that I've said/done things when I haven't. But lately he's doing stuff that just doesn't seem right to me and its actually making me question my own sanity.

Example : Last week he brought home 2 packs of "bakes". One pack was chicken, one was cheese and onion. So he was putting some in the kids packed lunches and he asked me "which pack shall I open, which one do YOU want?" I said "cheese" so he opened the cheese packet (although I didn't see him do this). Next day he's at work and I'm eating this bake and it was BLATENTLY chicken. I mean, it didn't just have a slight taste of chicken, it was full of big chicken chunks. I just thought he'd got them mixed up and let it go. When he came home he asked how the cheese bake was. I said "nice, but it wasn't cheese, it was chicken". He burst out laughing and said "err no, it was cheese! you must be getting mixed up". I said "no, it was definately chicken! it had big bits of chicken in it!" he then said to the kids "what bake did you have for your lunch kids?" and they replied "cheese". Dp giggled and walked off. I KNOW mine was chicken but they were all apparantly from the same pack which said cheese on. All night DP made out that it was just my silly old brain playing tricks.

Anyway I let it go. Last night he took the other packet of bakes from the freezer and said "here look ... CHICKEN ... you see that, right? It says chicken ... agree?" he then asked if I wanted a chicken bake leaving out for my lunch for today. I said yes.

Anyway, I've just eaten it and it was blatently cheese.

Ok I know this sounds ridiculous and petty but why the hell would someone swap the bakes around and then rip the piss out of someone?? He MUST have swapped them, but why?

He does other stuff too. But this one is stressig me out because Im wondering "maybe I am going nuts afterall". I feel like he's trying to confuse me. If I question him, he'll say I'm paranoid and then I'll feel even more like a psycho

What else does he do?

Google Gas Lighting.

Sorry Gaslighting, the two words together.

Is there history here? What else is going on in your relationship? Is it generally good?

Is there any possibility the manufacturer got the packs labelled wrong?

Yes, gaslighting.

I loathe practical jokers. I like a joke as much as the next person, but tricks like this are just not funny.

Keep a sample next time!

Good Grief!!!!
What a fucker! Why would he do that to you?

I'd go with gaslighting too, well, either that or you really are going nuts

He tells me I can't stay up if he's going to bed because I'm obviously "Upto something" if I do. He tells me my friends are idiots/morons/losers etc and that they'll bring me down if I hang around with them. He says I've done things when I haven't. Says I've said things when I haven't. I think he's hiding my socks. I bought a pack of 5 a few months ago and within two weeks, all pairs but one were missing. So I bought another pack of 3 and now they're all missing too. But why? why would someone do something so pointless as to hide socks?

Could have been a packaging mistake but then why did the kids all agree with him too? they must have had what it said on the packet, it was just mine that was different.

What other stuff does he do, OP? Is it just practical joking as Annie suggests? I sense from the tone of your post that it's something a bit more sinister than that.

Just seen your post in the thread about playfighting too which concerned me. Is he still picking fights with you in the name of 'playing'? My blood ran cold when you said he stabbed you with his keys.

Do you think you are actually being a bit sensitive? what else has he done?

He sounds like a psycho

No, if all you say is true and I am sure it is then he is abusive. He is gaslighting you, which to me personally is one of the very worst kinds of abuse. Have a look at this gaslighting and then have a look at this womens aid.

Have you posted about your relationship with this stupid fucker before?

(I think so)

Are you getting closer to leaving him? Please leave him Boxy - It's madness to have stayed so long.

I think he's abusive pure and simple.

It's not like when you question him he then laughs and tells you what hilarious joke he's played on you, instead he carries on trying to make you doubt yourself. Don't, he's a nob. You are not being a bit sensitive.

Your last post about telling you you can't stay up (is he your dad?!), trying to isolate you from your friends, confusing your sense of reality - these are all signs of abuse. Seriously. Not in the slightest bit funny.

I feel like I'm going nuts. Can you imagine? "My partner hides my socks and swaps the chicken bake for cheese bake" - people would be like " ok ..... "

But I just can't explain it. Its not what he does as such.

Ok I was on his laptop yesterday on the bed. He came and sat over me like he usually does. I was going to shut it down but the battery was running low anyway so I just turned it off. I got up to leave the bedroom and he said "what are you doing?" I said "going downstairs" so he said "what, and you're just going to leave the laptop like that?" (it was where I found it). I said " yes, why" so he said "the battery is flat!" I said "yes, thats why I've turned it off" so he said "well, don't you think you should charge it up?" I said " no, nobody is using it right now and the charger is downstairs" so he said "so!! I might want to use it!" (he wouldn't have done normally) so I said "well take it downstairs and plug it in then!" he replied "no, YOU do it, YOU DRAINED THE BATTERY!"

So basically, although we were both heading downstairs, I had to perform the task of carrying the laptop downstairs for HIM to use because I'd "touched" it last. So anyway I left it on the sofa NEXT to the charger and he came storming across, shoved the charger in and said "tell you what, I'LL CHARGE IT SHALL I???" I mean, does it really matter who plugged the charger in?

Its stupid arguments all the time.

My mum took me out for my birthday a few weeks ago. When I got back, DP asked me what I'd had so I said "chinese". He then said "right, well I'll be getting chinese for supper then" like it was some kind of punishment for me. Its just wierd and stupid.

Tbh I think if you are last to use the laptop and it runs out, it's only polite to charge it.

But the bake thing is weirdy weirdy weird.

It is not just weird and stupid it is unacceptable.

I am actually feeling quite frightened for you after reading this thread.

He sounds irrational but in a controlled way which is scary.

He is abusing you, did you charge the laptop because you were scared of him or because you questioned yourself and thought maybe you should? If you did it for either of these reasons you are being abused. There was NO reason whatsoever for you to charge that lap top and the fact that you did is very telling.

Please contact WA.

It's HIS stupid arguments all the time.

HE'S being weird and stupid.

What would he have done if you didn't obey him and take his laptop down to the charger?

You DON'T have to put up with this you know.

OMG that laptop thing is so the kind of thing that my DP would do

As I was reading it I was thinking 'well maybe she should have charged it back up since she was the one who used the battery. I'd appreciate it if someone charged my laptop back up after they used it'. But then, that's because I've been so conditioned to second-guess things isn't it? I can't even really tell what's normal any more.

Sorry for thread hijack. And sorry to hear you're having to put up with such madness, OP. Because it does sound mad (him, not you).

"Anyway, I've just eaten it and it was blatently cheese."

Call his bluff.

If he asks if it was nice, say 'it was the best Chicken bake ever' and then see what his reaction is.

Or... swap tehm round yourself so that he realises you have sussed what he is doing.

I am like the fucking QUEEN today, what with people agreeing with me and shit.

Thats what I mean, I don't even know what's normal anymore. I charged it because I didn't want another argument.

We went out for lunch yesterday. I was looking at the menu and dp said "I'm having fish, are you having that too?" so I said "I'm not sure yet". He said "go on, have the fish". I said "hang on, I'm looking at the menu". He looked over my shoulder and said "oh god! burgers! BORING! why don't you just have the fish?" so I said "because I have not decided! I might get lasagne" so he said "you ALWAYS get that! I think you should try the fish. You don't want burgers because thats boring, you dont want the meat pie because we're having sausages for tea and you don't want lasagne because you always get that. Shall I just order two fish?"

I said "yes, ok"

Pathetic isn't it.

He also tells me I eat a lot when I'm barely eating at all. So I feel greedy and fat. Then he asks if I want a take-away, I say no so he goes in a mood because I won't eat with him.

ChickenPsyc

You've written about him recently haven't you?.

He will only damage you further if you stay with this abusive man. He knows full well what he is doing and he acted deliberately here to make you doubt your own self. He is trying to drive you mad.

Goodness alone knows what all this as well is doing to your children'e emotional development. He will harm them as well as you if you keep him in your lives.