Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

unrequited love

56 replies

unrequitedandrelivingitdaily · 26/05/2010 21:12

if you have fallen in love with someone from afar ,but they aren't interested ,but you have to see them all the time,so every time you see them you have a little lurch and fall in love a little bit then remember they aren't interested again then get over it,only for it to happen again the next day, despite avoiding them as much as possible,what else can you do to forget about it

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 26/05/2010 21:14

I don't think you can do anything else (apart form convince yourself they are really evil for some reason)

Just remove them from your life completely, and in a few years you can move on.

Hell, I'm crap at this agony aunt stuff tonight.

Original poster
unrequitedandrelivingitdaily · 26/05/2010 21:21

it's painful
lol @ a few years though

come on lets hear from those of you who know what I mean...

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 26/05/2010 21:22

You can't possibly fall in love with somebody that you are not in a relationship withy- it is a CRUSH, and a bit silly. Take the romantic specs off and sort yourself out. You will cringe when you look back on this, honestly.

BelleDameSansMerci · 26/05/2010 21:22

How do you know they're not interested?

LynetteScavo · 26/05/2010 21:23

Why lol @ a few years?

Too long or too short?

I thought I knew what you meant. Sorry.

Original poster
unrequitedandrelivingitdaily · 26/05/2010 21:25

of course you can,just like you can not really love someone you are in a relationship with

lots of different sorts of relationships,lots of different ways of feeling about people

OP posts:
AtlantisLegoDuplicates · 26/05/2010 21:25

I understand alright, see other thread

I have come to conclusion I am just desperate for sex, actually.

You need to sort that out. You will be fine.

Original poster
unrequitedandrelivingitdaily · 26/05/2010 21:26

lynette...too long i meant,hope it's not that long that's all

OP posts:
Original poster
unrequitedandrelivingitdaily · 26/05/2010 21:27

what thread

OP posts:
Gigantaur · 26/05/2010 21:27

you need someone to tell you something awful about the man.

if you found out he voted for BNP or once shot a kitten or something, you would no longer feel he was so fabulous.

BitOfFun · 26/05/2010 21:31

"In love" means something a bit deeper than infatuation though, surely?

And if you aren't close enough to be in a relationship, how can you possibly know the person well enough to "love" them? You wouldn't know them nearly well enough.

You can certainly fancy the arse off/be infatuated by your fantasy of what a person is really like, and if you lack maturity you may equivalate that with 'love'- but you would be experiencing a crush, that is all. Unrequited love is the stuff of silly novels and movies, and not exactly conducive to happy healthy adult relationships.

LynetteScavo · 26/05/2010 21:33

Well...it was years for me.

But I happen to know that this man you have feelings for drowns unwanted puppies in the canal.....

Original poster
unrequitedandrelivingitdaily · 26/05/2010 21:42

he doesn't [shocked]

bitoffun...we are all different ,don't argue with me as I'm sad

I have a relationship with him,it just isn't as close as I would like it to be

OP posts:
EmilyBronte · 26/05/2010 21:42

Well I know how it feels and it's agony. Time, and not seeing that person, and properly falling in love with someone who also loved me, and more time, cured it. Now I look back at that feeling with a kind of affection. It's horrible, and you just have to ride through it and be strong if there really is no chance of it being requited.

Original poster
unrequitedandrelivingitdaily · 26/05/2010 21:45

thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
unrequitedandrelivingitdaily · 26/05/2010 21:47

would any of you recommend me telling him about my feelings

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 26/05/2010 21:49

I'm not arguing with you- just offering you a therapeutic kick up the jacksy. Sometimes it does you good, you know.

AnyFucker · 26/05/2010 21:50

BOF...it is uncanny how you keep popping up on threads and saying almost exactly what I was going to say

please stop...you are going to make me redundant

catinthehat2 · 26/05/2010 21:50

Only if you want to look needy and immature

Original poster
unrequitedandrelivingitdaily · 26/05/2010 21:51

but that's mainly what is offered on here...what I want is empathy,just had enough and it won't go away

OP posts:
BelleDameSansMerci · 26/05/2010 21:53

I don't think you want it to go away though...

I do understand how you're feeling but you have to want to move on to get over this and it doesn't really sound as if you want to.

Original poster
unrequitedandrelivingitdaily · 26/05/2010 21:58

ok thanks for replying surely it will wear off in the end

OP posts:
Original poster
unrequitedandrelivingitdaily · 26/05/2010 22:04

I've had a lot of men unrequitedly in love with me..so it must be quite common

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 26/05/2010 22:08

No, no, don't ell him! He's a man!

ARe you 100 % sure it's unrequented?

I do know how you feel..it is awful, and it is very real, for you.

I have an idea...you need a new love object to help you get over him!

Gigantaur · 26/05/2010 22:09

no don't go and tell him you love him.

by all means ask him out for a drink and see if there is any chemistry. you never know, maybe he would like it to go further too.

but BoF is right, its not love it's infatuation. for now

Swipe left for the next trending thread