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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I know I'm being petty but.....

62 replies

DetectivePotato · 21/05/2010 20:11

I don't want to be constantly asked if I am ok by DH.

I'm sat, typing away or reading, he is watching the tv, he is ALWAYS asking me if I am ok. Grrr

Then there is the constant blowing kisses. We have been together for nearly 10 years. I don't need to still be constantly blowing kisses to him. If I don't do it back, he will do it until I do. Its annoying!!!

We still say I love you each day but I don't feel the need to say it several times a day and at least 3 times before we go to bed.

I'm finding it slightly suffocating and I feel like a total bitch for even thinking it but it gets on my fecking nerves.

OP posts:
ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 21/05/2010 20:13

Can we swap? I am going to blow DH and air kiss just to see what he does...

Disenchanted3 · 21/05/2010 20:13

Wow, what a bastard he is.

I suggest you read some of the threads on here where women go thorough horrible instances of domestic violence at the hands of ther partners then re-read your thread.

Disenchanted3 · 21/05/2010 20:14

Sorry, thnat was harsh, am just worried about my sister who is with an arsehole.

You really should be thankful he adores you so much.

Original poster
DetectivePotato · 21/05/2010 20:15

Yes Disenchanted I am aware of what others go through, it is awful. I'm not going to think every time I go through some sort of feelings, that there is someone out there with much worse.

I am aware I am being a bitch and that he is a good husband and father but this is how I feel.

OP posts:
Effjay · 21/05/2010 20:16

Just tell him (nicely) in a less is more tone ...

cathcat · 21/05/2010 20:17

I would find this suffocating too.
But DH and I never do stuff like this

Have you tried talking to him about it?

Supercherry · 21/05/2010 20:18

I think the blowing kisses thing is actually quite hilarious. Surely he's partly joking around?

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 21/05/2010 20:20

Why did you post this?

What were you hoping for?

Original poster
DetectivePotato · 21/05/2010 20:20

Not really. I think he would get huffy and defensive and say I don't love him or something.

He's doing it now!!! Arrggg. He just says "ah darling, are you alright"

I know its not crime of the century but I think it comes from my family being very closed about our feelings, I've never once told anyone in my family that I love them and have never heard anyone say it either, whereas DH still tells his mum that he loves her, which as the mum of a DS is nice but I also find it slightly .

OP posts:
Original poster
DetectivePotato · 21/05/2010 20:21

"Why did you post this?

What were you hoping for?"

I'm venting.

OP posts:
Hassled · 21/05/2010 20:21

I would find that way way too much. You need to talk to him about it because it will become all you can think about, and you'll end up feeling very negatively towards him.

But whatever you say to him, make sure there are more positives than negatives - it's great when you do X, and you're so good at doing Y, but would you mind if I asked you to cut back on the Z?

It does sound a bit like he's quite insecure - always looking for reassurance that he's loved. So tread carefully.

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 21/05/2010 20:22

Okay. Just asking.

Disenchanted3 · 21/05/2010 20:23
Biscuit
Original poster
DetectivePotato · 21/05/2010 20:24

"It does sound a bit like he's quite insecure - always looking for reassurance that he's loved. So tread carefully."

I think thats it exactly which is why I have never said anything. He has often said in the past that I am going to run off with someone else (no idea why he thinks that or where the hell I would even meet anyone else).

OP posts:
CarGirl · 21/05/2010 20:26

he sounds insecure to me, it would drive me nuts.

Can you make a point of hugging him and telling him that you love him first before he starts with it all?

ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 21/05/2010 20:27

Is he me?

Original poster
DetectivePotato · 21/05/2010 20:30

Cargirl even if I did, he would still do it. I am justing starting to realise how much he does say it when he has just said it for the 3rd time in about 20 minutes.

OP posts:
Zedd · 21/05/2010 20:30

Aww, he sounds sweet. Keep venting away...not a crime of the century.
Try telling him less is more

Original poster
DetectivePotato · 21/05/2010 20:30

Asecret I don't think it is you, , he's say behind me watching a film.

OP posts:
Original poster
DetectivePotato · 21/05/2010 20:31

thats suppose to be sat behind.

OP posts:
WhatsAllThisThen · 21/05/2010 20:34

I don't need to still be constantly blowing kisses to him. If I don't do it back, he will do it until I do.

Just don't blow a kiss back and see how long he blows kisses for. Then report back.

ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 21/05/2010 20:34

Does he huff if you don't sit on the same sofa as him?

Original poster
DetectivePotato · 21/05/2010 20:39

I'd feel mean thinking I was doing it so I can report back, but I kind of want to see what he does as I have always given in and done it just to stop him.

I don't sit on the same sofa as him anyway, we have 2 small sofas and tend to stick to our own seats. I like space to put my feet up, plus I am a fidget and get uncomfortable. I think he gave up asking me to sit next to him a long time ago.

Hmmmmm, not making me look too good!

OP posts:
Original poster
DetectivePotato · 21/05/2010 20:41

Ok, he's just done it and I didn't do it back. He didn't do it again but that maybe because the last time he asked me if I was ok (10 minutes ago) I replied in a calm controlled way " yes. I. am. fine. thank. you."

OP posts:
ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 21/05/2010 20:43

You are my DH! To my defence he always has a miserable/grumpy look on his face hence me asking if he is OK...