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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

I saw a thread this afternoon

34 replies

KemalsStilletto · 05/08/2005 17:59

I was at the library this afternoon on the internet and I saw a thread, a very nasty one from someone called Rhianna about her sister. I unfortunately could not post on the thread from the library as I was supposed to be doing work on my webwise course and I'm not sure where it has gone, but Rhianna25 is my sister I am totally ashamed to say, and yes, I am the sister who is worried about conceiving. I am so upset someone I trusted to go to with my problems could be so damn nasty and I have been in tears since I saw the post. I would have replied there and then but had to go from course to docs and just got home now. I would like to thank all you wonderful mumsnetters who commented on what a witch she is. I just have to sort some things out and will be back to defend myself further in about an hour or so.

OP posts:

Hulababy · 05/08/2005 18:01

Didn't see the thread but it sounds horrid. So sorry your trust was abused in such a nasty way

rickman · 05/08/2005 18:02

Message withdrawn

MrsGordonRamsay · 05/08/2005 18:02

Sorry you found it, but maybe knowledge is power IYKWIM.

I thought it was you, but I couldn't remember your name, are you the girl who went to church with a friend just to keep the peace and ended up really enjoying it ???

hercules · 05/08/2005 18:03

Hi, I posted on that thread and I know it's difficult but tbh you sounded really nice! You know you'll get lots of support from people here.
Btw my sister was unable to have kids and has now adopted a beautiful little boy!

MrsGordonRamsay · 05/08/2005 18:05

The thread has been removed.

All you all need to know is that R25 is an odious piece of work.

And that is being nice.

Cadmum · 05/08/2005 18:07

How horrible for you KS...

I can't imagine how you must be feeling.

Aimsmum · 05/08/2005 18:07

Message withdrawn

NomDePlume · 05/08/2005 18:10

Blimey KemalsStilletto, I saw the thread but didn't post on it as I didn't want to inflame the situation any further. Your sister was bang out of order with her thread/post, I think you can see that from the reaction she got from MN.

I really don't think you have any reason to 'defend' yourself. Your sister was wrong, pretty much everyone who has read and commented, has said as much.

anorak · 05/08/2005 18:17

I was hoping it was all made up - it's much worse to discover it was real after all. I'm so sorry you have to bear your awful sister. I would cut her right out of my life. xxx

mememum · 05/08/2005 18:17

Hi KemalsStiletto. I did post on the thread and I know I shouldn't have and even given her the satisfacton but I had to say something! I engaged fingers on keyboard before my brain! I hope you can resolve things with your sister. Also I'd like to apologise for the comment I made regarding her not having children in the future. It was childish and shouldn't have been said.

Original poster

KemalsStilletto · 05/08/2005 18:19

Hi MrsGordonRamsay, yes I am the same person who went to church and really enjoyed it, I have made some nice new friends there.

I am glad I saw the post. Shows who I can and cannot trust to put my problem and worries onto. I told her I was worried and she thinks I should get a life? This is a baby I am talking about, something I do want. I actually am not so in a rush to get pregnant at this time but was worried that after several 'perhaps I am' situations, finding out I wasn't was worrying me to say the least and I was upset that when I had my chance, I had a termination and maybe I would never get the chance again.

In regards to my stepson. Well, what can I say? Koumi is the most wonderful little boy, he is funny, clever, brave and loving. How can anyone not ever want to be a part of his life given the chance? I am his mummy, maybe only part time and not his biological but I am what he calls his mummy and I am incredibly proud and blessed to be, and will continue to be as long as he and his brother want me to be in their lives.

As for my lifestyle...true, I don't drink, smoke weed or party every weekend, but i'm healthy and very happy and content, even more important, I am secure, not like some people who go posting nasty things on websites.

Thanks to all who did defend me, you are all wonderful, wonderful people and i'm so pleased to have people like you to help me out. Thanks to people who did reassure me on my post last night about me worrying about my fetility too - after reading your advice, I immedately relaxed and realised babies come with time and I was incredibly lucky to get pregnant immeditely with the first. I think you all are wonderful people, and thanks again, it's lovely to have people like mumsnetters

OP posts:

MrsGordonRamsay · 05/08/2005 18:24

I was convinced that she was a bloke troll.

Shocking to discover that she isn't.

Original poster

KemalsStilletto · 05/08/2005 18:26

you mean a man?

OP posts:

LittleMissNaughty · 05/08/2005 18:29

I read the thread your sister posted and felt really upset for you. It made me so angry!

My sister is a really nasty person too. She once threatened to kill me for no apparent reason. She sends me nasty text messages and would love it if everything went wrong for me.

She has always been jealous of me and my life, and I'm sure that is the case with you too.

You sound like a wonderful person and wish you good luck with conceiving.

franke · 05/08/2005 18:30

Are you sure it was your sister and not some poisonous imposter? I kind of hope this might be the case iykwim.

BunnyBoo · 05/08/2005 18:31

I can not actually believe that that really is someones sister what a nasty piece of work, sisters are suppost to be loyal and supportive and stick by there familys, i know many don't, but i don't think there was any need to come on here and start a very nasty thread.

I wish you all the luck in the world KS trying to concieve and just remember we all chose different paths in life, i love kids and always have, i was never the party animal that my sister is but that was my choice. i fell pregnant at 19 and had my ds at 20 and i am now 23 and 16 weeks pregnant with number 2, i am more than happy and i love my life being a mum.
Don't listen to your sister she sounds extremly jealous of you at least you know what you want in life and where you want to be, goodluck hun x

Original poster

KemalsStilletto · 05/08/2005 18:34

it must have been her as she is the only one I talked to yesterday about my worries, apart from ppl on here and they dont even know my name, let alone hers!

OP posts:

Original poster

KemalsStilletto · 05/08/2005 18:35

aww bunnyboo, good luck with your pregnancy! hope all goes well xxx

OP posts:

MrsBubsDeVere · 05/08/2005 18:36

To be honest, I sometimes think that there are more bad people out there than good,but then, I look at the friends I have got and the couple of close friends I have made on here and realise that there are a few diamonds.

I am sorry that you have been hurt and betrayed, I know EXACTLY what you are going through, my own brother and sisters did it to me 4 years ago, I have not spoken to them since and never will do again, even though one is an alcoholic and apparantely very ill and one lives down the road from me.

You have a new set of friends and your faith now, you don't really need such jealous and spiteful people in your life.

Good Luck in dealing with her.

Hattie05 · 05/08/2005 18:55

I am sorry to see that you saw the thread, and that your sister is so harsh to you about this.
I suspected this was the case and is the reason i suggested we did not post on it.

At least your sister had not satisfaction in anyone agreeing with her.

lucy5 · 05/08/2005 19:06

I am so sorry that this was your sister, I was sure it was a male troll. What she has done is awful, she clearly has problems. I wish you all the best in whatever you do and am truly sorry for fuelling the fire by posting on that thread. She just made me so angry attacking someone so publicly.

Catsmother · 05/08/2005 20:14

Hi ... I added to that thread too, even though I thought it might be a troll, I couldn't resist. It was the comments about hardly drinking and not smoking at all that particularly made me laugh .... how shallow must she be to judge you adversely on that basis ! She'd hate me then ...

I've got an awful arrogant sister too, and haven't spoken to her now for more than 4 years. It makes family occasions difficult, but I used to get so stressed out at the stuff she used to say and the attitude - I'm much happier now I don't have to put up with the crap she used to feel free to dole out, knowing that the rest of us were too polite to remonstrate with her and spoil a "happy" occasion.

I digress .... there is nothing wrong in having maternal feelings at any adult age. I wanted a baby from about the age you are now, had DS at 25 & DD at 38. Hope things work out for you in that respect ....

You know, I got the impression that your sister is actually jealous of you because you know what you want and are happy with the lifestyle choices you're making. Despite what she said, don't think the same can be said of her, so she derrides you instead .... even though she's the older sister, that's terribly immature as I'm sure you realise.

Well, you can hold your head up high and ignore her - if the opinions of a load of strangers are anything to go by.

Gobbledigook · 05/08/2005 20:25

Wow - the thread was so hideous I thought it could be nothing but an attempt at a wind up. So sorry KS - you sound like a lovely, sensible and happy person and wish you all the luck in the world

ABow · 05/08/2005 20:44

I saw the thread sweetheart, and if its any consolation there were lots and lots of nice things said in support of you

shhhh · 05/08/2005 23:56

KS, I also saw the thread and posted on it..Like others I wanted to voice my opinion to her bacause she thought she was so right in voicing hers. Everyone has the right to freedom of speech, but not in the way she did. In fact as soon as I posted I also emailed MNHQ to ask them to remove the thread as she was getting nasty.
Like others have said you sound lovely and I don't see what all the fuss is about, you wanting to have babies.
I wanted to have babies since I was a baby myself (!!) and dh & I started trying when I was 22..it took us 4 years and 2 mc's to finally get our dreams answered, our dd is now 11 weeks old and adorable. You are going to be concerned and worried if it's taking you longer than you expect to conceive but remember everyone is different...Some fall pregnant at the drop of a hat, other take years. Some carry full term without any problems while standing on their heads, others sadly mc while wrapped in cotton wool. Life is strange.
remember, we have very little control over what happens in life all we can do is to live it the best we can.
Keep smiling because you never know whats around the corner .
Goodluck xx

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