I've cracked and now feel silly and humiliated...

[HideMyPhone]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/965437-I-think-I-39-m-dumped-but-need-some-second

I started the above link last week. After not hearing from a new boyfriend who was having trouble with his exDP, I was adamant that I wouldn't ask him where I stand. I was determined to be cool about it all, but I've been tearing my hair out.

I just tried to phone him - no answer; tried his mobile - engaged. I'm only human and I just can't take this limbo any more so I texted him asking him to call me, regardless of what he wants to say to me. Told him he should be fair to me.

Nothing so far... I feel such a bloody fool. What now? I know this may seem pretty 'teenage' compared to some of the problems on here, but here I am, all alone and crying over it all. I just can't believe that someone who seemed so nice would turn around and treat me so badly.

well, you asked for that one didn't you ?

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but you need to preserve your self-respect here

Do not contact him again (unless you like massaging the ego of a player who has used you to get back at an ex)

I know, I know...

I'd just like to be formally dumpped, that's all. How on earth can I ever trust myself to make judgements about men ever again? My exDH was a control freaking, intimidating, heavy drinking bully and this new one has just used me...

I feel incredibly hurt. It's horrible.

Why do you want to be formally dumped? Surely you don't need to hear/read the words "Sorry, it's not you..." to know that this isn't going anywhere. Stop pursuing it, accept it's over, and move forward. Chin up, they aren't all cowardly, using shits.

Don't think of it as being waiting to be formally dumped.

That is a very passive approach. Think of it as being over, whether he ever calls you again or not. If a bloke doesn't call you within 3 days of shagging you, he's history. End of. (Unless of course he's in hospital in a coma, or some such.)

You have your answer, you don;t need it spelling out any more than that

And, fgs, if he comes snaking back in a few days, please tell him to fuck the fuck off

Because it would mean his ex has blown him off again

You only have his word for what really happened between them

Honestly love, we have all had this kinda thing happen to us, somewhere along the line

It is shit, that is for sure, but...

Pick yourslff up, stick out your chest and onward

And do not believe everything that anybody tells you in the future

Pinch of salt...with everything

Yeah, I know you're all right. I just thought that by my thirties this kind of thing was over. I thought men would be more mature...

What a confidence knock.

No they're not more mature, just older.

The game players are still game players, the nice ones are still nice.

some men never grow up

players will be players all their lives

don't apply your own maturity to others...you will be sadly disappointed

there are good men out there

he just isn't one of them

I think you are giving him far too much power over you for someone you have been seeing for such a short time.
I would seriously consider texting him once more to say that you have no wish to make life hard for him and that you deserve who isn't conflicted so you are dumping him. Don't let him leave you dangling.

deserve someone

I think you might be right, Casmama - I might do it now then I can go to bed and think 'sod him'.

Good for you. On the off chance he is a keeper then it will be up to him to make it up to you for messing you about if you choose to let him.

Agree with Anyfucker

Dont let him play you any longer.

He's just texted a massive, apologetic text that I don't really understand!!!

no, don't give him the satisfaction of texting him. Just ignore him, put it down to experience and walk away.

Oh and delete his number so you don't get tempted to call him again. He's probably shagging his ex as you speak.

tell us what it says so we can crucifyhim interpret for you

Your not going to reply are you? what was the main thing it said?

oh, fgs

did the dog eat his homework ?

< thumbs through rest of script >

OK - another text just come through. I'm officially dumped - thank f for that! Too much baggage, blah blah...too complicated, blah blah, etc. Gonna call me tomorrow to explain better apparently.

I'd have appreciated knowing last week ffs.

going to call you tomorrow?!?! twat - be out being fabulous and busy somewhere else

block his calls now...and i hope you told him to stick his justifications where the sun don't shine

don't listen to any more guff

your dignity is worth more than "explaining better tomorrow"

fuxake...he likes the spotlight, don't he ?

attention seeker

Do you know dizzy, I was just thinking that!

He sure does like the spotlight. I think he thinks I'll be devastated but I've been through far worse than getting dumped. Why didn't he just tell me last week?

Don't reply to text

Don't be in tomorrow night.

His loss not yours

As dizzy says Twat

he likes the drama...and spinning you along was obviously advantageous to getting back in ex's pants

lucky escape you had there, chuck