Pretty sure he is cheating?

[whattothinkaboutthis]

I've name changed - I've posted about this before about 4 months ago and the general consensus was we were stuck in a rut and he probably wasn't cheating.

However, I've just signed us up for online billing with our mobile (joint accounts) and I took the opportunity to look at his bill.

There are 2 numbers that are suspect - neither are in his mobile address book. One he texted only 5 times and the other he called twice @ 00.34 and 01.40am.

How do I find out who they are - have called both go straight to voicemail.

So your instincts were right They often are unfortunately. Did you confront him?

whaaaaat ?

what has happened ?

are you ok, love ?

as soon as I've packed, talked to friend I will be back. It's the same girl who is now having an affair with a married man. What a slut. He is worse though obviously.

Don't worry we have no kids etc

look after yoursel, swweetheart

come back when you can, I am so sorry

what brilliant instincts you have, though !

Hope it's his bag you're packing and not yours. Don't leave the house to him.

Fuck! some women have no respect.

Hope your ok, as well has you can be,anyway.

why would you leave? You did nothing wrong. I would be packing a bag for him and telling him to get out.

Be strong, your gut instinct was obviously (sadly) right.

You poor poor poor thing. And just because you don't have DC's doesn't mean don't worry - its your life! Be strong.

thinking of you whattothink. sorry this has happened. Hoping he'll see sense and grovel like a loon!

I am so sorry for you. I found out that my DH was having an affair about 2 months ago and it was a terrible time. I don't really have any practical advice, just to say I'm really sorry.

op, hang on in withthis thread, i will be on to see how you are wheni can, dd in and out hosp at moment.
xxxx sending you strength

Right, I've drank a botte or red on an empty tummy, so not sure if this will make sense. Packed most of stuff can go back for rest.

I left cod my house feels suffocating. I hate him right now. House is joint he can't do Jack shot. Plus he is not vindictive. He loves me but doesn't love me like he used timoth bla bla. He only kissed this other girl. I suspect grope and kiss.

What else?

I meant to post the last one at 9pm Ish on phone so not Great. Fell asleep drunkenly at 9.30 now awake!

oooh your head will ache in the morning whattothink.

why have you left, I know you say the house felt suffocating but surely you'd rather be in your own home wouldn't you?

The house is full of lies and bullshit. Honest I'd rather be at my friends, she only lives 2 mins away. Maybe too close infact as I'm irrationality toying with the idea of walking over and seeing if he can't sleep too.

He will be tho the fuckhead.

well of course he doesn't love you like he used too. It's called learning to live together and having a life once the passion dies down.

Geeze, why are men so stupid about this stuff!

don't go over there whattothink, keep your dignity

what an arse he is.....agree completely with gilly

The thing is Jilly we were doing on till he kissed the tramp and lied about it for 6 months!! We weren't blissfully happy but we were doing okay and if he'd just talked to me or a real non work related friend about it then it'd be so different now.

It was just so cliched, it meant nothing, she came on to Mr, I never meant to hurt you etc.

I do feel strangely not super upset, friend says it's shock. Just feel relieved and worried about the logistics.

I know it's not mature but I just went to spend the next week in an alcohol induced coma; around work of course!

Sorry still on phone quite hard to do long messages, I mean gilly.

OliviaSmuma, this dignity thing; does this mean I'm not allowed to send the tramp a message on Facebook I've just found her on it.

morning, whatto

hope your head is ok

dignified silence is the way to go

she may be a tramp, but he is the one who has let you down

you will just look like a crazy bitch if you start stalking her and sending abusive msgs now

Don't contact her.

Disagree with gilly - men are not stupid if they don't just accept that long-term relationships go stale and become unsatisfying, rather women are stupid if they do accept that as normal.

Sorting out the shared house will be a hassle and you will be very sad for a while op but it really sounds like this relationship is well over.

Don't contact her, it will serve no purpose.

To her it was 6 months ago, she probsbly doesn't even remember it and your DH means nothing to her.

Rise above it, don't show your emotional vulnerability to her or to him.

Nooooooo whatto, don't do the bloody low life facebook stunt.

Keep your head high girl!

No, avoid Facebook or any remote message to her like the plague.

I suspect there is more to this than a kiss at Christmas, I'm afraid, given what he is telling you now - and given that he was communicating with her by text before he got his conveniently password-protected phone. If he has told you that she is having an affair with an attached man, I suspect he means him, or that this was a ruse to avoid suspicion about this woman. I assume this gossip about her morals came from him though, which is pretty revealing and ironic given that his own morals are indisputably appalling, or does he have double-standards for male behaviour?

Although I don't think you should contact her, I'm sure she would be interested to know that her paramour is describing her as the "office bus" and is using the hackneyed "she came on to me" line.

Really sorry for you - and also want to praise your instincts. They will continue to serve you well.

I agree with wwifn, there is more to this

But I guess it doesn't really matter now

Best to wash your hands of the whole sorry business and keep your dignity intact