is a fresh start ever really possible

[bubble1]

have decided after much angst to try to make a go of my marriage. however, this decision has not removed the lack of trust i have in hubby...am constantly checking his emails etc. will my marriage survive without trust...really need to make it work for sake of kids.
biggest problem is that he wants sex...tonite...and i just cant with this trust issue...how do i put him off without causing another argument

Eurgh Im just imagining staying in the house I lived in with my ex, and having him pay for it. Yuk.

I can see that you are worried at this point about moving your kids out of their 'family home' but I'm sorry its just bricks and morter and it doesnt sound like its exactly full of happy memories. Kids dont need a big hiuse, they need a happy, strong muumy.

411, it wouldn't necessarily be a matter of Bubble being "dependent" on him, or his havig to pay the mortgage. As people have already pointed out, she could get housing benefit for the mortgage interest (as long as they don't consider the house ridiculously large for her & her family.)

If he makes the arrangements difficult & they need to go court, the court will definitely put the children's welfare first. The parent who is the primary carer will get help with housing, if she needs it.

I dont think that inviting my friends and family round to make him feel uncomfortable is going to work...just seems so wrong!
i know that my recent activity has seemed childish so i would like to see this situation thru with a modicom of maturity.
im tired now...so very tired of tryng to find hidden emails and messages etc. i have his admittance of affair now...almost feel quite calm for first tme in weeks.
i think i always knew in my heart that my gut feeling was right from the start...the furtive act of trying to hide his phone etc,in some strange way i feel relieved and vindicated.

Yes bubble in that situation you feel like youre going mad and its all in your head. It is a relief to know youre not!

am so fucking angry!!!
after admitting affaiair with other woman hubby decides he wants to try to save our marriage.
i agree...tentatively on condition no more lying and must try really hard to geen on faceboain back my trust...he agrees totally, fresh start he says.
have just found out from one our mutual friends that TODAY whilst i went to visit my mum he has been in contact wth her again and has been bragging on fb about her and him.
big argument he says he has done nothing wrong...back to square one.

I trust this is the point at which you dump him for good ?

I dunno what you see in this immature, cheating twat, tbh

You would be be better off with only one arsehole in your life

yes he has been well and truly dumped...but how long does it take for the wheels of divorce to start turning, how do you manage to live in same house with someone youve dumped. this is the weirdest situation i have ever been in. we live insame house...steely silence from me, him just acting the innocent 'but ive done nothing wrong' twat...asking me if id like a cuppa etc...talk about in denial, either that or he has alzheimers and cant remember what hes done 10 mins ago.
i refuse to move out and he thinks hes done nowt wrong so why should he...wanker.
this is a surreal situation now...only whisky keeping me going!

I can't help with practicalities I am afraid

I think there are some women on MN who have had this exact same experience though...or are still going through it

it sounds awful, tbh

what a nobber he is

he isn't in denial, nor has Alzeimers

he is digging his heels in and thinks he will wear you down

it must be like living at the OK Fucking Corral !

does anybody out there live insame house with ex hubby...any advice onhow to cope whilst seperation goes thru?