Did I get my vibrator out too early?

[IvanaPavlov]

Had sex with my new boyf for the first time.

A bit of a mixed experience. He was very nervous and sturggled to keep it up but did get going in the end. Is that normal? I'm the first he's slept with since a long relationship has been over.

I also can't come without (a-hem) assistance of the battery operated variety so we used the vibrator. He seemed to like it...?

Now I'm a bit worried. I texted him earlier and haven't had a reply. We talked on the phone last night and I got the impression that he thought I was a bit wild! I'm really not... just know what I like. Is that ok, I wonder?

You lot are just what the doctor ordered.

God, I am so naive I didn't know there were rules. Am a bit like an over enthusiastic Labrador so tend to just go with the moment (scuse the analogy), but can say it never seemed to be a problem.

I think if it was introduced right, it wasn't too early, I am sure Ivana exercised tact and did not introduce it in a huffy 'here you go see if you can manage with this' sort of way.

Now Gay's idea might just have dampened his ardour completely

AF, yes 'allowing'. I was in control of the situation, his balls were in my court.

I was tactful - it was with the moment!

I'm serously worried now... I 'liked' MN on FB. Can anyone on FB see my posts on here?? What does 'liking' the site on FB mean exactly? Is this discourse secure?

pmsl

I would prefer demanding

Ivana, maybe you can 'namechange' your vibrator from Pinky to your new BF name - text him ad tell him about it - invite him to be part of the baptism ceremony.

To be honest Ivana, there is no security. Anyone can read what is on MN without even logging in, they only need to Log in to post.

So the less 'detail' you go into makes it more 'words on a screen' than personal, and I have found it hard not to leave a trail of hints to RL me.. talk about what I do, the area I live, photos of DC's, hobbies I have. Name changing helps (as long as you don't cock that up like I used to....poor MNHQ at one point had a special team dedicated to my botched name changes ....cherrs MNHQ)

But my comments on here don't pop up on FB do they?

Oh, I see what you mean... Umm I don't think so. I think someone wpould have to be looking but someone else might know better than me (they usually do!)

only if someone links to FB, Ivana

do you use the same name on FB ?

They don't seem to be so as ever I'm just worrying...
I even logged on as my mum to check how my profile looked to my friends - no big notification telling the world about my sex life thankfully!

No - it's a made up name.

Just watch out for the spread sheet gang Ivana

Before you know it Ivana your boyfriend will be like my DH.

I went to bed last night and just found a new pack of AA batteries sitting on my bedside table.

No note, no mention of why.

say no more.

He was watching shite football / snooker / cricket until midnight.

If you need something sexual I think it's best to let your partner know early on. I once wasted 6months with a guy who wouldn't go down on me. If he'd told me on the first date that he didn't eat pussy I could have ditched him for someone more suitable.

I think it's quite normal for some men to go floppy the first time(s) because they feel pressure to perform (has happened to me more than once - usually with guys who are affected a lot by what they're thinking).

LOL - I wouldn't worry, if he's gone off you because of the vibrator he's probably not your ideal partner anyway.

Really excellent title Ivana!

I always think honesty is the best policy - no point spending 6 months not having an orgasm because you don't want him to feel uncomfortable about Mr Pink.

And the longer you leave it the harder it is to bring these things up (no pun intended anywhere in that sentence!)

What I was going to say Proxy & Helen.

Much better to introduce your flexible friend early on, than to fake it for months.

ROFL at "give me a muff" Nina!
DH and I were driving past a wood the other day when we remembered we had, ahem, parked up there on our 2nd date.
We only just realised how icky (and dangerous) that was! What a pair of hussys! We spent the rest of the journey doing cats-bum face at each other.

I am slightly confused about the concept of allowing a man to go down on me on a first date.

I would be so fucking grateful to any man who did that that on a first shag, that inevitably he would dump me as being too clingly and needy. And then I'd be sorry.

What do you mean - not having an orgasm? Do they still make women who don't have orgasms??

I laughed at "allowing". Is this how the other side play it??

gay...some women are unable to orgasm, ya know

fact

Never met one...sorry

I lie. I've met quite a few who said they couldn't.
They were unwitting liars, bless them.

just 'cos you never met one...

I have never met anyone from Peru, but I believe they exist

I've met people from Peru.

My point is, I think it's a load of twaddle (with the exception of certain medical conditions etc).

what a ridiculous comment, gay

although you are entiteld to your opinion, of course

do you think that all women who have never orgasmed then just haven't had the right sort of "attention" ?