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Relationships

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Original poster

Did I get my vibrator out too early?

80 replies

IvanaPavlov · 05/05/2010 19:15

Had sex with my new boyf for the first time.

A bit of a mixed experience. He was very nervous and sturggled to keep it up but did get going in the end. Is that normal? I'm the first he's slept with since a long relationship has been over.

I also can't come without (a-hem) assistance of the battery operated variety so we used the vibrator. He seemed to like it...?

Now I'm a bit worried. I texted him earlier and haven't had a reply. We talked on the phone last night and I got the impression that he thought I was a bit wild! I'm really not... just know what I like. Is that ok, I wonder?

OP posts:

ilovesprouts · 05/05/2010 20:23

mollybob · 05/05/2010 20:24

I had sex with my DH on our first date - 14 years ago today. He didn't complain then or now and wouldn't dream of casting it at me in a fight. He wanted to just as much as I did FFS.

Some men are such twats.

tartyhighheels · 05/05/2010 20:25

i think as long as you didn't put it up his bum it should be ok!

Original poster

IvanaPavlov · 05/05/2010 20:30

Some men do have the old madonna/whore thing, don't they? Sounds like you found a good one though, mollybob.

Been seeing this guy for about 5 weeks before we did the nasty. He seems really into me and we'd been sexting, etc. before hand so it felt like it was about time. And besides, I'm a single mum with 2 DSs and I was in need! First time sex is always a bit weird, isn't it? but I was detemined to get my end of the deal iykwim even if that meant revealing Mr Pink a little sooner than is decent.

OP posts:

whomovedmychocolate · 05/05/2010 20:30

Performance anxiety - normal.
Introducing your pet rabbit into first sexual encounter - priceless.

Okay to be serious. Man cannot get wood, do you: (a) encourage him or (b) whop out your flexible friend for him to compare himself to?

If I was him I'd be gutted tbh (and I'd run away).

Sorry.

Maybe he'll give you a buzz later in the week?

Original poster

IvanaPavlov · 05/05/2010 20:31

P.S. no, I didn't put it up his bum!

OP posts:

Original poster

IvanaPavlov · 05/05/2010 20:32

whomovedmy - he seemed kind of into it tbh.

OP posts:

mollybob · 05/05/2010 20:34

Actually if I had the misfortune of meeting someone caught up in the madonna/whore bollocks I'd rather know sooner than later. In those days I didn't have sex that early as a rule but DH was so sexy I couldn't bear not to.

Gigantaur · 05/05/2010 20:37

i think it would be a massive blow to any mans sexual ego for you to need a vibrator. but for one who has already shown you that he is nervous and having difficulties in that area i imagine it was a massivly upsetting experience.

whomovedmychocolate · 05/05/2010 20:39

What Gigantaur said was what I meant - except I was too busy laughing to write sensibly. Well done that mumsnetter!

AnyFucker · 05/05/2010 20:39

gigantaur...I don't agree with you at all... most men (those that are not selfish arseholes, anyway) would be happy to use sextoys in the bedroom

perhaps not the first time though, especially if he is a bit < ahem > soft

bibbitybobbityhat · 05/05/2010 20:43

I don't know if you got your vibrator out too early ...

but I do think you got your vibrator thread out too early! Too right I do.

Haven't any of you slappers mumsies heard of the 9pm watershed?

Hmmpphh

[cats bum]

Gay40 · 05/05/2010 20:44

If I'd been him I'd have liked it. I'd have enjoyed being with a woman who knows what she likes and isn't afraid to let me know, rather than this madonna/whore/not on the first date shite.
And don't get me started on the "phase things in gradually" bollocks.

OrmRenewed · 05/05/2010 20:48

Into allsorts af?

What, the licorice ones?

I love them personally but only for eating purposes

Gigantaur · 05/05/2010 20:48

Sorry Af i meant on the first occasion.

Dp and I use toys all the time. sometimes at his request. but that is the difference between a loving relationship and a first time shag.

NinaJane · 05/05/2010 20:53

AF, yes we lasted 4.5 years. I permanently walked like a cowboy. Beard-rash is not pleasant.

AnyFucker · 05/05/2010 20:54

I see gigantaur, I misread it as "it would be a massive blow to all men (to need a vibrator...)"

soz

AnyFucker · 05/05/2010 20:55

lol @ orm and nina

Original poster

IvanaPavlov · 05/05/2010 21:06

Massively upsetting? Oh dear, I do hope not. I really like him. Mind you, using the vibrator was what got him hard so I don't know what to think?

OP posts:

Gay40 · 05/05/2010 21:07

Think nowt of it, and just enjoy.
Or, tie the vibrator to his cock with duct tape, like a splint

AnyFucker · 05/05/2010 21:08

I love vibrators, oi do

sorry, just thinking aloud...

NinaJane · 05/05/2010 21:17

Ivana, you are much less of a tart than me then. At least you dated for 5 weeks before introducing him to Pinky. I met my 4.5 year man on the train in the afternoon, went to the pub for drinks in the evening and soon after was allowing him to snuff my muff

Gay40 · 05/05/2010 21:18

what's wrong with that?

NinaJane · 05/05/2010 21:20

My point exactly Gay40.

AnyFucker · 05/05/2010 21:22

allowing ?

now, nina, "allowing" is the wrong word ya know

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