Master/Servant thread

[Zedd]

Has the thread been pulled? if so, why?

safety

I guess she had it pulled because of Mn's bright idea to make it easier to link threads to your contacts on FB and Twitter.

Everyone thought it might expose her to discovery by her H or someone who knows him.

So, the only place of safety and support that she has at the moment (i.e. MN) becomes a place which makes her more vulnerable.

I soooooo wish that MNHQ had thought this through, particularly with regard to the sensitive threads.

Thank you.

Oh no.

I am not on Facebook or Twitter and don't fully grasp the implications...

I hope she continues to get help and support though.

I'm sure it's nothing to do with that.

But how? I doubt MN use is even remotely as prolific in SA as it is here and if anyone recognised her from this thread and wanted to out her they could have just posted a link anyway.

facebook is used widely in sa and you can link mn threads to facebook.

Or has it been pulled because it was completely fabricated

I reported my own thread and asked MN to delete it - I told them that because they have made it easier for people to link threads to FB and Twitter, that I feel that there is a greater chance that my dh or someone he knows, who uses FB or Titter, might stumble across this thread - I told them that I would like to have it removed as a matter of urgency, because I would be in physical danger from my dh if he gets to see it - I got a reply from someone named Rachel who apologised for taking so long to remove it - she said that they were very busy on Saturday and that my request slipped through the net.

I am not sure if I was overreacting or not, but for my own and my dc's sake, I was not willing to take the risk.

I have to say I think that your situation is exactly why we shouldn't have these arbitrary links to twitter and facebook.

I hope that you've taken on board all the good advice in the other thread and find a way to get out of what is one of the worst domestic situations I have ever read about on MN. Wishing you all luck and a happy and safe future.

OTSBH how are you feeling today?

Wishing you a sfe and happy future

Take care.

Just wishing you good luck in changing your situation- i hope all the advice and support you received on the other thread is giving you the strength to do it

Thank you - I know what I need to do, but it is very hard to stay focused, as dh is lovely at the moment - I can't post any more tonight, will be here again in the morning - goodnight.

Wishing you the best of luck OTSBH, please stay safe, and take care

good to see you're OK OTSBH.

we are all rooting for you.

i think about you every day and hope that you're getting one step closer to your goal, that your h doesn't suspect a thing, that all will go smoothly and easier than anticipated and that you have a happy life hereafter. you certainly deserve it!

Thank you all for your encouragement - my emotions are all over the place at the moment - one day I will feel too 'heavy' to even put one foot in front of the other - I feel weepy and emotional and see my dh for all that he is - the next day I think 'I can fix this' - I think things like: if I try harder to please him, give him less things to be upset about, maybe we can get to a place where I can sit him down and explain to him how his behaviour is affecting me and the dcs - in this scenario, I see him being shocked, because he did not realise how he was hurting us and promising to stop the abuse behaviour - the next day, when my dh is so lovely and caring and attentive, I think I must have imagined it all - that I was bored and lonely and created it all and that I was completely overreacting and that it is not nearly as bad as I thought it was - then the next day I get angry - I feel like swearing at him and boycotting him and being disobedient, so that he will get fed-up and leave of his own accord.

Obviously don't know you or your dh but based on your descriptions of his previous behaviour I would reckon he knows exactly what he is doing. The fact that is father is the same means it is highly unlikely he will be changing any time soon. He had plenty of opportunity to act differently from his father when he became an adult but he has chosen not to.

You have to leave on your terms not his or else nothing will change.

MollieO - you are right - I understand this on an intellectual level, but my emotions are all over the place at the moment and that is what makes it difficult for me to focus - I know that I am going to divorce him - I just don't know when or how, but I am working towards it.

over, your mixed up emotions are COMPLETELY normal.

You will get more clarity eventually, what you are going thru is just one part of your realisation that a) he is abusive and b) you will not spend the rest of your life like this.

More clarity will come from getting as much support from those agencies everyone linked to, also from reading those books people recommended.

Hope you're ok.

Good luck, over. I've just been reading the diary I kept while in a women's refuge, and it described just the same doubts and worries as you are describing. Best thing I ever did, though.

"if I try harder to please him, give him less things to be upset about, maybe we can get to a place where I can sit him down and explain to him how his behaviour is affecting me and the dcs"

Oh, this makes me want to cry. Over, I have been with you through this, and I'm sorry about the security risk issues and that you now have to be careful around here.

Fucking child beating asshole.

I, too, know just what you mean, Over! That endless yearning - for a time of reason, when he will suddenly wake up & realise his 'mistakes' - is the hook that keeps us on the line, isn't it? Only they're not mistakes. They're coldly deliberate manipulations.

The person waking up is you. It is uncomfortable. I feel for you. I wish you a safe and speedy trip into the real world - where you and your children can start living as your true selves, instead of cardboard cutouts fashioned to his template.

believe me, he will never ever sit down and apologise or recognize what he has done - it is very rare for such an abuser to do so.

your efforts will never be enough for him.

i know you know what you need to do - there is a freer happier life out there for you and dcs. it wont be easy - but you can do it.

I am too frightened to do legal enquires via an attorney, so I surfed the web yesterday and found a Law School/university in my area that offers free legal advice - I created a new email address and asked them advice about leaving my dh, using a false name - hopefully they will respond soon.