Master/Servant thread

[Zedd]

Has the thread been pulled? if so, why?

JodieO - I am taking baby steps at the moment - the fact that I realised that I am an abused woman, was a huge step for me - I really had not thought so - I have started to tentatively make plans, but I am doubting myself terribly at the moment - I keep on thinking that I can fix this (when intellectually I know I can't), but I'm getting there, slowly, but surely.

Remember when you start feeling like you have imagined it all that most (unabused) women are not afraid that their husbands might find their internet history.

Keep going, Over - you can do it!

What is this facebook/twitter thing? its disgusting that our friends (some of them real!) on facebook could easily see our threads. It cant be done by accident can it?

Over, you are doing brilliantly, just keep doing it. Play safe, keep acting the way you've always acted when your H is around.

Keep your emergency bag prepared, your phone always charged, a stash of cash and important documents(even photocopies if the originals would be missed), your car keys within easy reach, etc... Don't hesitate to call police or your security if you need to...don't think it has to be a matter of life or death before you call.

Tis normal that, as you go through a calm period with your H behaving nicely, you start to have your doubts about whether you've imagined it all. Just remind yourself that this is all part of the pattern of abuse. He will turn nasty again, you just don't know when.

The internet security advice given by the others is great, and with the preps you are making...if he should discover anything you won't be caught by surprise this time.

Am another one who's thinking of you.

Cycle of abuse

Kitty,

Clicking on the "social plug-in" (the buttons) is quite different to posting a link to a thread on some site or other. Clicking the button, commenting on the thread and confirming it makes a public and permanent link between you and MN because anything you publish on FB/Twitter is in the Public Domain (depending on your privacy settings).

It doesn't give your talk name of course, or so they say, but it's a bit too close for comfort imo. Particularly in the case of threads such as these. As I've said before on here I think it's inappropriate - FB tends to encourage very public profiles and networking - their privacy settings are by default zero- they really want you to be as public as possible ...whereas MN is a place for parents to be private and sometimes totally anonymous.

As for anyone's H being able to discover what she's been doing, you cannot be too careful. Verbalabuse.com has a forum - to register on there you have to phone first - that's how seriously they take their members' privacy and safety.

I think its terrible that it can even be done, whether its serious threads or just plain gossiping!

'MN is a place for parents to be private and sometimes totally anonymous.'

it is not at all private - anyone could be reading.

it is up to YOU to name change and change details if you want to remain anonymous.

OTSBH - glad to hear that you are making baby steps - wishing you much strength

I'm a regular name changer having been outed on another fluffy ticker forum - the disadvantage is that you don't develop the familiarity and history that some of the oldies on MN have, but the fact that my privacy is protected far outweighs that.

yep warthog, you're right. I have changed names a couple of times over the years. I should do it again soon also passwords.

I guess what I mean is that MN encourages privacy if you want it - some of us don't have a profile page on here. Whereas FB is all about connecting with as many people as possible...I'm not entirely comfortable with complete strangers reading my comments to friends or looking at my photos but that is how FB is set up and to avoid that happening you have to go through their very complicated privacy settings.

I do know that nothing is totally secure on t'internet, unfortunately and it's important to be reminded of that sometimes.

Sorry for digressing Over, I hope you're ok.

too true

I'm OK, thanks.

hang in there. every day is a day closer.

thinking of you often, over.

Did you manage to get any legal advice?

We are here for you so come and ramble or rant or whatever, if you need to.