Master/Servant thread

[Zedd]

Has the thread been pulled? if so, why?

good stuff. i'm sure you have, but clear your internet history.

Thanks warthog, I have done so.

If you use firefox you can start a private browsing session which will not keep any history, cookies or temp internet files.

Good idea. They'll be supervised by someone who knows their stuff, and it's a good place to start.

mumofmonsters - I do use firefox - how do I start a private browsing session?

Got to tools, start private browsing.

Thank you.

Hi, Over. I'm glad you're making some steps towards finding out about it Please remember you can call the aid agencies for advice, too - they will probably talk you through your fears, as well as offering concrete advice.

When you use Google, does it offer search suggestions? You can turn that off, using Settings -> Do not provide query suggestions in the search box. Settings should be at the top of your screen, on the right.

Thinking of you often.

mumofmonsters - I've just tested the private browsing thing and it works! Thank you very much - much of my anxiety is centred around my dh finding out what I have been googling - even though I always try to cover my tracks, I am never quite sure if I have covered every base, as I am not very computer savvy.

Really glad you're still here Over. Sending you strength x

Glad i can offer some light for you in your situation (didn't see other threads but judging buy this one your strength is huge)

ItsGraceAgain - thanks for the good advice and for thinking of me often - it makes all the difference in the world to know that I am not alone in this.

Do people still not realise that threads were linked before the little buttons? You right click the thread, copy and paste.....Same difference really and it isn't any more prolific now there is a button than not. Plus, the threads I've seen linked (before the buttons, yes it did happen, shock horror) were not put there to make fun of people etc etc .

I really can't see why anyone thinks this is something new? Oh, and the fact that it's a public forum that anyone putting in search terms into google can EASILY find............

JodieO - thank you for stating the obvious to us poor clueless peasants - I am only taking a wild guess here, but I suspect that you have never been a victim of domestic violence - lucky you

Molesworth - thank you.

Well then you're wrong aren't you OverTheShoulderBoulder, nice and presumptuous though. Lucky me that I left him and lucky for my children, yes. So you can stick your wild guesses.

In that case I admire you JodieO - you are where I am hoping to get to one day - I apologise for being rude to you.

It's OK, sorry for my hasty reply. I know it's not easy. It took me a while. I posted a couple of threads a couple of years ago which I recently updated on the relationship forums, well I started a new thread linking to those. Those 2 threads weren't the whole of it but some of what happened.

I was with him for 10 years and over time it got worse and worse, but that's how it happens, gradually until one day you wonder if it's normal. You know deep down that it isn't but there is that self doubt as your self confidence has been slowly eroded. I'm pleased to say that I got mine back and I feel so much better and really alive now that I'm out of it.

I really hope you find the courage to get out too.

Thank you JodieO for telling me about your experience - well done on getting out when you did - your story gives me the courage to know that it can be done.

I have another concern and I wonder if someone can help me with it. When I went to 'tools' and clicked on 'start private browsing', a message came up saying that even though my search history is not visible to anyone, my service provider can hold/have access to that info - our service provider is a friend of my dh and he does all his computers at work and ours here at home. I know when I have contacted our SP in the past, when I had problems with my Internet connection, he was able to 'go into' my computer from his office and tell me step by step what I had to do, as he could see what 'page' I was on. Am I being ove the top or is this a big problem for me?

i thin when it says service provider it means AOL or Virgin or BT or whoever you pay for your broadband service. It means that you people can't start a search for child porn and not be found out.

I think.

mumofmonsters - thank for your reply - this is the bit I am worried about: While this computer won't have a record of your browsing history, your Internet service provider or employer can still track the pages you visit.

I know what you mean about Virgin and AOL etc - we use a local communications network as our service provider, but the man who runs it at my dh office and our computer here at home, is a very good friend of my dh - whenever I have a problem with my computer or my Internet connection, I phone him and he is then able to remotely connect to my computer and follow on his screen what I am looking at on my side - this is what I am worried about.

You will have some software on your pc enabling him to remotely access your pc, that isn't something you can do without it afaik. I'm sure you can tell when someone is connecting as they will be moving the mouse and can see exactly what you're seeing. You should be able to turn this software off though if you can find it on your pc (if you're worried about it) but then again, if he tried to access your pc he would know that it was off if he couldn't access.

I really hope you can get out of your situation so that you don't even have to think about things like this, and definitely not worry about them. I tell you, I've felt so much more relaxed and not walking on egg shells all the time since I left my ex. The first step is the hardest, once you've taken it then it gets easier imo and ime. Maybe you could start making plans? Even if only in your head so there is no trace?

OK, Over. Your service provider is your communications network, but the other guy having access to your machine is a concern. Right-click on My Computer. Select Properties. A window should open that has a tab called Remote. If either of the boxes in there are checked, uncheck them. This tells your computer not to allow 'foreign' computers to use it remotely.

If your house is networked with the other guy's (unlikely, but it might be), your machine won't consider his 'foreign'. When you look at your folders, can you see any other computers there? Right-click and disconnect them.

Go to My Computer again, this time right-click and choose Disconnect Network Drive. It should give you an error (no network drives.)

Reset your security software to defaults. Have a look in there, too, to see if you're networked. Clear any exceptions. Reschedule your regular full scan (should be at least once a week, btw, and not the quick scan.)

IMO it's unlikely your friend does anything other than fix errors for you, but you never can tell. Disallowing remote should prevent it; the other measures are for double-checking. As Jodie says, it will be lovely to have control of your own life!

Hi Grace - you are indeed my Saving Grace! Thank you so very much for taking the time to help me with this - I will do all the necessary checks - the fact that I am not on a network should make things quite a bit simpler - yes, I do long for the day when I don't have to worry about crap like this anymore.