Drunk BIL Snuggles Up in Wrong Bed! WWYD?

[Vagabond]

I'd really love your opinions on this and I'll try to keep it snappy.

My sister and BIL hosted a housewarming party last night. It was a huge night, loads of people and everyone ended up very drunk and going to bed in the wee hours. (I wasn't there, btw).

My sister's best friend (let's call her Stacey) was visiting from abroad, just to attend the party, and was staying in the guest bedroom with her 5 year old DD.

My sister woke up this morning with a heavy head, but feeling happy at the huge success of the party. She went to give Stacey a cup of tea in the guest bedroom but found that she was gone. Upon further investigation, my sis discovered that her suitcase and hire car were also missing. She rang Stacey immediately to find out what was going on.

Stacey was calm but insistent that my BIL had snuck into her bedroom and 'tried it on with her'. It seems that Stacey woke up at 4am to find her knickers on the floor and my BIL kissing her tummy. My BIL was right there when the phone call happened and protested his innocence, grabbed the phone and tried to make sense of it all with Stacey. He apologised "if it did happen" but claimed to have no recollection of the events.

Stacey then got back on the phone with my sis and told her that her husband is a pervert and that she should leave him.

My sis and BIL are understandably distraught and upset. They both, however, have come to believe that it DID happen. However, they also firmly believe that it was a drunken mistake.

Sis and BIL have 2 boys under 3 and are constantly playing musical beds due to snoring and kids constantly waking up etc.. etc. I know this to be true because I've seen it on umpteen occasions. Also, they have a large house and it's very easy to be confused in the corridors. Lastly, Sis and Stacey look similar.

My BIL is not a pervy guy at all (and I'm not his biggest fan). Far from it. I honestly believe that it was a mistake - a huge, drunken mistake - but Stacey is adamant that it was not a mistake and says her friendship with my sis if over unless she splits with BIL. Stacey was also pretty drunk that night. I'm not blaming her at all (far from it!) but she didn't even wake up until he had her knickers off and was kissing her on the tummy.

My BIL phoned Stacey again later to apologise and to say that it's entirely possible it had happened but that he has no recollection of it and that it was unintentional.

My sister is on BIL's side (just) but is understandably worried that Stacey will tell all their friends (which she probably will) and that her carefully constructed life, new home, two young boys etc is in tatters because of this.
BIL is beside himself with shame and distress. I have to reiterate, he would have known that he couldn't have got away with it and I honestly feel that it was a hideous, drunken mistake.

I don't know why I'm posting. Just wondering if you'd believe that my BIL made a drunken and unintentional mistake. And more, how should my sis repair her friendship with Stacey?

TIA

Hello Everyone (I'm the OP), thanks for all your replies and I'm sorry I haven't been on earlier (I'm in a different time zone and today was a working day).

Well, Stacey has been in touch with my Sis (having had another apology in the meantime from my BIL) to say that she will try to forget about it and put it behind them. She also said that she 'might have reacted overly-dramatically and that she shouldn't have driven off like that'.

It's still not clear what happened at the 'moment of discovery'. The picture that emerges is that my BIL suddenly realised what he was doing (ie., wrong room! SHIT!) when Stacey woke up and he scarpered. Stacey went back to sleep (it's not really clear if she woke up 100% though, IYSWIM) and woke up a few hours later, realised: "WTF", freaked out and shot out of there in her car.

Stacey has since boarded her flight home and sent a text to my sis to say they'd speak in a couple of weeks when the dust had settled. She signed the text with a kiss so I suppose that's a good sign.

Just to add my own personal story!

My other sister's boyfriend once entered my room in the middle of the night, stark bollock naked. I was only 15 and petrified. He came over to my bed, lifted the duvet off my feet and peed all over my bed!

Poor bastard was so mortified that he bought me a new mattress the next day!

(I know: you're probably thinking that my sisters sure do pick 'em!)

Thanks for all your comments. And BTW, I realise the title of my thread was very off - it was hardly a 'snuggle'

Hope your sis is doing ok, Vagabond -- none of this has been a bit pleasant for her.

That's a happy outcome Thanks for the update! Your sister must have been really upset about it all. Hope everything's peaceful again at her home.

I sleepily pushed XH#2 off me - muttering "Oh, not now, XH#1"

I talk, laugh, sing and shout in my sleep - and, as many flatmates (and their friends) have hilariously discovered, answer any question with complete honesty.

My brother used to do the sleepwalk-and-pee-in-random-places thing. He did it at home quite regularly, and it was almost guaranteed when he stayed away from home. He 'grew' out of it in his late 30s. I never have found out what he said to people before he stayed at theirs - let alone after!

Love that "G'night Jim", LeQueen

Not sure if I should continue in this vein but I'm off in a few minutes, so never mind.

There's been no suggestion, afaik, that the man in the story forcibly removed the knickers. They may have already been off. She may have gone along with it - they were both very drunk and sleepy and, as shown above, people do odd stuff under those conditions.

The point (as I see it) is: She woke up, reacted, this woke him up & he scarpered. Which is exactly what happens in spare bedrooms all over the world, when this type of thing happens. It's wrong, it's worrying and it's certainly difficult to deal with. But it doesn't necessarily have sinister overtones.

If life was all cut-and-dried, black & white, there'd be no need for discussion would there? We can't know all the details, since the protagonists aren't posting here. I just think it's unfair to try the guy by proxy, find him guilty and hang him!

Glad things appear to be getting sorted. Looks like BIL has got away with it!!

so BIL was so drunk he got into bed with another woman, removed her pants and kissed her tummy

but upon her waking, he managed to sober up enough to find his OWN room?

and then somehow doesn't remember any of this?? seems unlikely to me

quite frankly, 3 adults in charge of 3 small children relaly shouldn't be getting so drunk they have absolutely no idea where they are.
utterly irresponsible

My Dad went into another woman's room by mistake, on the way back from the toilet, on the first night of his and my Mum's honeymoon. Very amused, the "other woman" told everyone at breakfast... can you imagine my Dad's embarrassment?

And before I gave up malt whisky (ok, I never really drank it, but this one time.. a bottle of Lagavullin, 3 of us and some slides of a bike on tour in New Mexico), I once woke up at the foot of my boyfriend's flatmate's bed, slunk my way up his legs to find it wasn't boyfriend...oh, the embarrassment, but fully clothed, thank goodness.

So yes, alcohol can make people do funny things. I'd believe him. Sounds like Stacey does too really.

OP glad that there has been a semi positive outcome.

FWIW some friends of ours live in a house that has been extended several times so has lots of little twisting corridors with bedrooms / bathrooms off it. Even sober I still find it difficult sometimes to work out which room belongs to whom - bit worried about next time we stay over there after a skinful