LD,
At first I thought, 'I just have to get him out of my system', I thought, 'yes lets just have lots of sex, let it run its course and let it burn out in its own time'. It was unfinished business, that never developed into an adult relationship because we were only 15/14 at the time.
He quite possibly wasn't far off 20 stone, is quite short, but does have lovely, teeth, eyes and hair! I don't find his size an issue at all, although he has lost a stone in the last 3 months with the stress of it all.
I hated the deceit though, the lying, the sneaking out, meeting in carparks like a pair of teenagers, it was silly it was dangerous and I didn't want to get caught.
I realised we both had to step back and sort out our own marriages that had broken down, one of us had to be the grown up, so i told him i didn't want to see him, until he or I were available.
I did at one stage offer just sex, but he said he was in too deep and wanted more.
We've spent weeks just talking and meeting, just to talk, I've had to get to know the 40 year old man and it's him that I've fallen in love with, because now he's completely different and so am I.
Life's too short, too precious, these feelings so rare I know i want to spend the rest of my life with him, there's not a tiny bit of doubt in my mind.