Confused, angry & upset

[Daisypops]

My relationship with DP has been rocky for about 4 years. I decided to call it off for the final time 2 weeks ago. He is a serial cheater. I dont actually know he sleeps with them, though I suspect he does, he seems to like the chase and attention, but the trust is just gone and the torment is too much for me to take. He has been violent once in the past when he was drunk and there are countless other reasons why i called it a day.

We have a 3 yo daughter who he hasnt seen for 3 weeks now.

He text me last week and told me he is considering a job offer at the other side of the world and he has to decide in a week and he will let me know. Since then I have felt all emotions possible. I just cant get my head around the fact he can leave his 3 yo. His mum left him when he was 11 and he hasnt spoken to her since!

I am angry, upset, bitter, sad, guilty for my little girl etc. I think I just need to come on here and vent. I am exhausted with it all and too emotional to speak to my friends about it.

Thanks tea, once again your words of wisdom have helped.

What was the curved ball your ex threw at you? You dont have to say if you dont want was just thinking about it this morning.

I usually enjoy taking DD out places , we have so much fun, but yesterday my heart wasnt in it, I just wanted to be alone to cry.

It is like bereavement. Its just dreadful. Hopefully counselling will help me through.

He broke up with OW and then 24 hours later they got back together. I didn't want to try at our relationship again as it's far more complicated than just an affair but it certainly was hard for me in many ways. Relief it was over as she isn't good for him in many ways and then disappointment when she changed her mind etc.

Anyway this is your support thread Missy, not mine

OMG, what an emotional roller coaster. I can imagine how that messed with your head. Did he tell you they had split? Did he want to try again?

Isnt it just shitty what we go through? Some people I know have no heartache, everything is plain sailing !!

I think in a way I want answers that I will never get. Like why we weren't enough for him and why he cant adore his DD like i do and why he treat me the way he did.

I still think he punishes women for what his mum did to him.

Re the other woman and him having sex with someone else, I just have to keep thinking that he will treat her the same, if not worse than hes treat me.

The only thing keeping me going is my DD and my family, friends and mn. xxx

Im also starting to wish I hadnt finished with him and started to question whether he'd still be going away if I hadnt

No he never said he wanted to try again thank goodness. After all this time I'm not sure my reaction would've been if he had.

Don't start second guessing Daisy. You have made the right choice!

• what my reaction

Ex p has asked us to go with him.

OMG I am in shock.

No idea what to do.

Hi I've been reading your thread and feel ever so sorry for you, but things will get easier.With regards to him asking you togo with him, dont go.He's using it to his advantage,just think if you go he will act no differently to before, the only difference is the YOU will have no support network to help you.

Say no, Daisy. Please say no.

I would have expected the whole of MN to say in unison NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Since that hasn't happened I would like to ask you:"How much do you think he respects you if he thinks that, after what he has done, you would roll over like a little doggie with your legs in the air and say "Tickle my tummy" eh?" Just how much?

I have read your entire thread, and I really hope you are not giving it serious consideration.

Moving overseas is not easy. Having a daily life abroad even less so, especially as he will be at work, make new friends and aquaintances, you will be home, with no support network at all.

DONT DO IT.

please.

What an utter bastard. I hope you laugh in his scrawny facew and tell him to go. And never darken your door again..
Total fucking manipulative knob. Goodbye knob. I fyou go with him you would be doing your daughter a life disservice that might royally screw her up.

Do
Not
Go

But, before he goes, make sure you know where he is, so the CSA can contact him for maintenance. It might also be worth handing him the divorce papers before he goes. I would seek legal advice pronto, while he is still in the country.

Have been following your thread and want to add strength to the voice of all those above..

DO NOT GO

Please.

Life will get so much better for you and your daughter soon, once your head is free of him.

QS TOTALLY agree. Very good points.

Also OP, have you checked any bank accounts/monies you have together?

If you give me this useless piece of dog shit's number I will Personally call him and get him to the airport on time.

Then go to yours and give you a big hug and get dd an ice cream. You poor love.

You will laugh at his shittiness one day though. Your love for your little girl shines through. She does not deserve a 'dad' like that.

Order a curry.

Sorry Daisy I've been off mumsnet for a day

Well I think everyone else has said it all already I love mumsnet sometimes...

What did you do? I agree with madamim especially, although all advice on here is sound. I still think he's playing head games with you. Do not say yes.

I've only just seen this and want to add my voice to the 'Do not go''s

Also QS's advice is very good.

He is trying to turn it around so he can tell people you didn't want to go, rther than he fecked off.
You will be so much better off when he has gone and stopped messing wit you

Daisy how are you doing?