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Relationships

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Original poster

Do you know your OH's passwords?

102 replies

NikNakPaddyWhak · 13/04/2010 13:16

Do you know your OH's passwords for PC account, emails etc?
Does he/she know yours?
Would you be happy for him/her to have them, if not, why not?

OP posts:

PorphyrophillicPixie · 13/04/2010 18:47

OH knows mine because he was applying to jobs using my email before I made him make a new account that doesn't get spammed. I know the general theme of his FB one and know his two email accounts, one I go on often to download work stuff that he recieved before me and to just check it for him and the oher I go on to filter out the junk mail as he cba to do it and seeing an inbox with over 10,000 emails made me feel very anxious! [grins] &

dizietsma · 13/04/2010 18:54

"which would have to include work, right?"

I don't think so. I mean, if I wanted on his work computer and he was very cagey about it, or refused to give me his passwords that would be a bad sign, but I wouldn't expect to know it as a matter of course.

PlumBumMum · 13/04/2010 18:56

Kiwi I see where you are coming from, and your right it is individual situations,

I do most things computer related for dh,
he dosen't have the time or the inclination, we have never had passwords on our phones, I always set up dhs phone when he gets a new one, because I love gadgets he dosen't,
I don't even know how to put passwords on a phone, so I suppose its not something that ever occurred to either of us,

so I suppose for that to change I would wonder why

kittya · 13/04/2010 19:07

I wont even accept friends on facebook that have their name made up of half theirs and half their husbands, whats all that about?? my friend wont join facebook because her husband would get into her account, wtf?? why do couples have to share everything? would you open each others post?

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 13/04/2010 19:34

kiwinyc - I think you are being deliberately obtuse. No one has said you should give your dh/dp work email passwords.

whittywan · 13/04/2010 20:04

We both know everything (although DH's memory is so poor he's always forgetting ) I don't think that secret passwords etc are necessarily suspicious BUT a change from previous openness to sudden secrecy or a FIERCE protection of privacy may be something to worry about

motherinferior · 13/04/2010 20:19

No, of course I don't. He is a separate adult. I wouldn't dream of asking.

abouttoleave · 13/04/2010 20:29

no , whyever would I ?

Malificence · 13/04/2010 20:34

"why do couples have to share everything?" - erm because we want to.

"would you open each others post? " - You betcha. Why wouldn't we?

I think it's weird for couples to have "private" things.

MrsC2010 · 13/04/2010 20:45

Yes, I know all his. I've had to log in to check stuff for him in the past, and on the whole he uses the same ones for everything! As do I. I haven't used them apart from to check when asked, and will be using them for the next week or so as he is away.

He knows all mine as well, I don't think he's ever used them as he hasn't needed to (he travels more than I do) but I wouldn't mind if he did, depending on his purpose of course!

Thediaryofanobody · 13/04/2010 20:46

But my DH and I don't have 'private' things we just don't feel the need to know every tiny boring detail. It's never even occurred to us that we would share email addresses and online passwords.

MrsC2010 · 13/04/2010 21:17

I wouldn't feel 'weird' if I didn't know them, and it wasn't a deliberate 'exchange', we just know them through the normal process of living together. We only use them if asked by the other, I really can't see my husband getting up to anything!

He doesn't have my work email passwords (he doesn't use a work one at the mo) and I wouldn't think to give them to him TBH. I think he had one for my old job, I was travelling and my blackberry had a hissy fit and I needed him to access some details for me, wasn't a problem.

CrystalQueen · 13/04/2010 21:22

we have them all written down in a little book next to the computer
It saves time. So if any MNer breaks into our flat, feel free to steal all our money from the internet bank account. And read our emails. And lock us off the computer.

CrankyTwanky · 13/04/2010 22:09

Like Slug, I set up most of DH's accounts etc, so I know his. And he knows mine, coz I'll ring him from work, say, and ask him to check something.
I open his post too if it's car-related stuff, as I deal with all that guff.
I would never, however, read his emails or texts.

kittya · 13/04/2010 22:13

I can understand it for financial reasons totally but, knowing his facebook password? i wouldnt feel the need for that afterall, Im on it much more than him!! and, I would never, ever open anyones post. Maybe thats just me, my mother used to open everything and I hated it.

abouttoleave · 13/04/2010 22:37

I have enough trouble remembering my own

PatriciaHolm · 13/04/2010 22:42

yes - in fact his email comes to my laptop as well as the family one. He uses the same password for most things anyway! And yes, we open each others' post if we want to.

IloveJudgeJudy · 13/04/2010 22:52

Don't know all of them, as couldn't possibly remember them all. If I ever want to get on something, he's always happy to tell me them. Not sure if he know mine, or not. Probably does. Not worried as I'm happy for him to read any e-mail/text that I get, but he doesn't. What I don't like is for people to open my post. It's addressed to me. I don't mind showing him after I've opened it, but he doesn't open it, nor do I open his. No secrets, though. No checking of each other's stuff, either. Trust goes both ways.

mayorquimby · 13/04/2010 23:00

nope don't know hers and she doesn't know mine. I wouldn't mind her knowing mine as I don't think she'd look through my phone or e-mails so it wouldn't be a big problem. If however I found out she did look through my phone or e-mails I would be extremely pissed off.

theQuibbler · 13/04/2010 23:03

Haven't got a clue - though to be honest, I can't think why I would need them. I'm sure his bank details are around somewhere if required.

He'd get very short shrift if he wanted to know mine, or if he dared to open my mail.

Personally, I think all this living in each other's pockets stuff is suffocating.

But that's why we all are attracted to different people. Live and let live and all that. Only winds me up when people assume that their particular habits are the only 'correct' way to conduct a relationship.

SweetGrapes · 13/04/2010 23:04

We both know most of each others passwords (obviously not work related). The ones that I use I remember, the rest I have forgotten.
Like, he can't access hotmail etc from work so if he needs to check something, then he calls me up and I look it up for him. But I rarely look up his bank account so may not remember that one.
He knows my email passwords too - but neither of us are checking up on each other.
It's need based not curiosity based.

MillyMollyMoo · 13/04/2010 23:06

Yes most of them and it wouldn't take a genius to guess mine so I assume he has access to whatever he might be interested in

kittya · 14/04/2010 01:03

Post is a no no as is work email passwords I mean, why would you?

tortoiseonthehalfshell · 14/04/2010 01:14

My feeling about personal emails and letters is, even though I have no secrets from my husband, my friends might. So I want my friends to be able to write to me with their own relationship troubles, or the juicy details of a date, or the way they're feeling about their latest mc, or whatever, and know that the only person reading it is me.

Likewise, I would feel uncomfortable writing honestly to my friends if I thought their husbands were likely to read it. It's not about secrets per se, but some things you only want to share with a particular person.

We open each other's mail if it doesn't look personal, though. My husband used to travel for up to 6 weeks at a time without phone or internet access, he needed me to have access to everything to keep the house running.

kittya · 14/04/2010 01:30

exactly, what your friends send you and what you might reply should surely be between you and your friends? I would hate anyone having access to my emails or personal mail,

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