Anyone else has a dh who talks too much during sex?

[NinaJane]

I love this man, but how do I make him stop?

You see, I set the scene in my mind - location, mood, various appropriate characters etc and things go fine for a while until my dh shatters it with just one spoken word - then I have to start from scratch again. I'm the kind of gal who cannot climax without a little bit of help from my imagination .

I've tried a gentle sshhh - doesn't work. I've tried to involve him in the process, but then he says something completely out of context and my whole picture blows up in smoke.

How do I tell him to just shut up, without offending him?

NinaJane - can't stop laughing at staring dog. Is it a he or a she?

Wasn't there a poster on here a while back who said their DH looked round to see their baby sat up staring at him mid-bonk? Ah the joys of MN...

TDiddy - a big, fluffy boy - first time we caught him staring, my dh and I were so freaked out we nearly suffered a 'mating tie'!

LOL Nina!!!

rofl at the dog staring

NinaJane - dareIsay that the dog is the strong silent type!

you need to play the role of the french teacher with a stern 'Taise-toi!

Nina Jane, not only am I somewhat impressed by your fantasies - share more, PLEASE! - but I sure as hell see what your problem is. Domestic reminders are guaranteed passion killers. FGS, if a woman was posting that she talks about the chores during sex, everyone would be on her like a ton of bricks!

For those who think he's doing it because he feels 'disconnected' ... I'll say he does! The suggestion I like best is to talk your fantasies out loud, non-stop. Errr ... you might have to edit them a bit, to give him a starring role

You never know, it might even help to keep his mind on the task in hand.

ps: I once had a boyfriend who did a running commentary during sex - of what was going on: "now I'm fondling your breast, now I'm ..." It was awful. I dumped him.

Jilly Cooper, I think it was Riders, Janey's fantasising about the vicar or something, Billy L-f says something inane, Janey says 'wait a minute darling' and carries right on with the vicar, and when she's done she tells him he can talk now.

I don't think you're at all odd. Just tell him you like it better in silence.

Yes, just tell him - "sweetie, that time when you were so silent but so strong is exactly what I fantasise about. It was my best time ever!"

ItsGraceAgain - your running commentator reminds me of an international cricketer who used to give running commenetary on his batting in the third person mode. But your bloke took this to a new level.

But I will be thinking of the staring dog next time to have a go

"In my mind I'm bent over my old Science teacher's desk and dh says: 'Are you sure dd1 is sleeping?'

Then I'm being ravaged by a stranger in the alleyway behind the pub and my dh says:' Did you put the dog out?'

When I try to involve him, I tell him that he is the pool boy and I am the bored housewife - then he will pipe up and say :'I can suck like a pool vacuum.'"

rofl rofl snort snort ha ha ha

the other night I got

"I can't because I have to look at your face"

without realising i was gritting my teeth

the shame

Thanks everyone for all the advice - I'll give the duct tape a try .

Sorry, meant to add - "dareIsay that the dog is the strong silent type!" LOL!!!!! TDiddy

Keep a mini taser by the bed? Lowest setting. Zap him each time he says something. Job done.

Shiney, you have obviously not meet the modern bread of scientists. Some could be higly recommended. Although beware the physics teachers. they're more traditional.

god i thought most people had to fantasise to get anywhere wrt intercourse - i spent 15 years not fantasising and in the 8 years since it occurred to me that it's possible to fantastise while having sex i've come a hell of a lot closer to where i'd like to be.

ninajane i do feel your pain. i used to have a bf who was happy to watch me help myself out - but wanted to commentate. what a turnoff. it's really depressing to fake orgasms when you're masturbating but it's the only times i've done it...

i think just saying that you find silence sexy is a good approach tbh.

< to fake orgasms when you're masturbating >

Blimey Poor you, choosyfloosy! The depths we will sink to for a man's sake ...

if i was rogering dh and he said " is the front door locked" or some such untimely and inapproriate bollocks - i would tell him to shut the fuck up

choosyfloosy - been there, done that.

While this thread has made me laugh a lot (the dog!) I'm that so many of you think it's normal to fantasise in order to achieve orgasm with your dh's.

Is it also normal or acceptable for a man to fantasise about other women while having sex with his dw?

Ok, maybe I'm lucky that I can reach orgasm with my dh without the fantasy, but if I couldn't I would be frustrated and worried. I did go through a stage of finding it really difficult to orgasm during sex a few years back. Dh and I read a self help book (can't remember what it was called) and sorted the problem fairly quickly.

For those if you that need to fantasise: do you also need to fantasise to orgasm when you masturbate (in private I mean)? I often don't, and just go with the physical sensations. Maybe this is good practice for being able to remain 'in the room' with dh yet still have the Big O.

i do think it's both normal and acceptable to fantasise Mrs Sawdust, for both partners (i must say that my fantasies don't include me - does that make me less mentally unfaithful??) but interesting point in your last para, i can do that but don't - might try more often.

Being a fella i dont mind if the missus thinks of George Clooney wearing a monacle and a top hat if it gets her off. She can do what she wants, and she's had 13 years of me with the big O every single time (bar a handful) fyi

shines fingernails/congratulates tongue

Hi Goolfonz - me and your missus have something in common then - my dh also thinks that I have the Big O every time.

@ nina