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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

really quick YES OR NO please?

60 replies

stickyj · 09/04/2010 17:08

DH talks for hours at night to a lady on weird radio show. Thought she was just strange like him. Read his stuff last night, they're talking about my marriage, her realtionships, sexual innuendo etc etc . She wants to "look into his eys"

YES/NO?

Acceptable or harmless flirting?

OP posts:
Original poster
stickyj · 09/04/2010 17:10

Bump

OP posts:
NinaJane · 09/04/2010 17:11

NO.

MayorNaze · 09/04/2010 17:11

very strange. x 100000. sorry.

Original poster
stickyj · 09/04/2010 17:13

He says it's harmless, just talking. I want to kill her!!

OP posts:
ItsGraceAgain · 09/04/2010 17:14

No

Original poster
stickyj · 09/04/2010 17:16

I questioned him before but his mate on the radio show abroad is weird, as is/was dh@s band. He said and I quote"I only talk to you and {dj}". he's also sent photos of the children, which she liked and I feel gutted. It's like they had sex over the net and I am mad!!

OP posts:
Karmann · 09/04/2010 17:17

Completely unacceptable - an affair waiting to happen.

toolly · 09/04/2010 17:18

It's bothering you, he has breached your privacy by talking about you and your marriage. Absolutely No

junglist1 · 09/04/2010 17:18

WHAT???? No

Katisha · 09/04/2010 17:18

When you say "on radio show" do you mean this is all being heard in public somewhere?

skidoodly · 09/04/2010 17:18

no

electra · 09/04/2010 17:18

No

Original poster
stickyj · 09/04/2010 17:19

It's a show from abroad and you can "chat" while it's on. He was talking to her for three hours last night and what upset me was him asking if she was on at the weekend. The radio DJ he knows is not on at the weekend according to the schedule.

OP posts:
Original poster
stickyj · 09/04/2010 17:20

I talk to my friend about our marriage but she's a woman and I don't flirt with her. Is that double standards or should I be upset?

OP posts:
Original poster
stickyj · 09/04/2010 17:22

I went out at 10.30am and got in at 4.30 and asked him where he thought I'd been. Why hadn't he tried to phone me and why he worried? Apparently he knew/thought I was teaching, having my hair done etc. I could have been dead and he doesn't understand that I thought he should have rung me to find out where I was.

OP posts:
RedBlueRed · 09/04/2010 17:22

Depends how much you trust him.

But probably No.

twinkerbell · 09/04/2010 17:22

NOT OKAY

Karmann · 09/04/2010 17:23

He's completely out of order. Three hours! Maybe he thinks it's safe because it's abroad but it really isn't. It's crossing the line no matter where she is.

Katisha · 09/04/2010 17:23

Sorry to be dim - still don't understand. Is the chat happening in public - is it being broadcast over the airwaves or internet? Can people hear it?

(Not that it makes a lot of difference to the general principle which is that it's not on)

Original poster
stickyj · 09/04/2010 17:24

I trust him but cyber/flirting is almost worst. The only two things he mostly says to me is "What do you want for tea?" and "Can we have sex tonight". Our marriage isn't great but I still feel betrayed by this and just wanted to know if I'm being unreasonable. I have already started to feel guilty and it's not my fault!!

OP posts:
Original poster
stickyj · 09/04/2010 17:25

I thionk she has a broken relationship and I know she has kids too. It's like being on MSN I think but there's only two people on there as far as I can see, him and her. This has been happening every week and I have teased him a couple of times about it.

OP posts:
Kathyjelly · 09/04/2010 17:26

No.

Lulumaam · 09/04/2010 17:27

NO absolutely unacceptable

discussing your relationship with a third party who might be interested in you sexually is a Bad Idea

what do you mean by 'thought she was just strange like him' though?

Original poster
stickyj · 09/04/2010 17:27

Can feel a huge row coming on. I don't know what to say to him, he's gone out to get printing done. Looked a bit flustered when I tackled him about what I'd read. Feel degraded, if that makes sense

OP posts:
Katisha · 09/04/2010 17:27

Then no - he is getting addicted to the attention.
It's not healthy or normal. It's normal to talk to friends sure, but as he doesn't seem to be able to communicate with you then its not good is it.
Would he agree to counselling - Relate? He can gab away in that and it may actually get you somewhere.

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