Do you and your partner stay in contact when one of you is away/abroad?

[NotATwilightFan]

I wonderedwhat your 'protocol' is?!

DP is away on a lads weekend (rubgy tour) this weekend. Left 6am Friday Morning. I have heard from him by text once to say he was boarding the ferry.

He knew 8mo DD was ill when he left - and that I was also coming down with the same thing. I don't know if it's just me, but 48 hours now, without a word. I'd like a text just to know he's not lying in a ditch somewhere!

I don't try to dictate what he does - he goes out much more than other friends, went away on stag weekend when I was heavily pregnant (and conveniently forgot his phone!) goes out lots of weekends etc.

To me it's just a lack of respect to not contact. The thing is, were it the other way around, he'd be having kittens if I hadn't let him know I got there OK etc....

(By the way, his phone definitely works abroad- he's updated his Facebook via mobile with pics/status updates since he's been there)

I'd just like to add I have only sent one text and tried to call just the once. I'm not going to stalk him - if he isn't grown up enough to answer on his own initiative, I shouldn't have to bully him into it.

When DP goes away I like to hear that he's arrived safely (if possible). Apart from that I don't contact him and he doesn't contact me until he gets back

Molesworth - thanks. I have to say, I'd usually expect this to be the case. I trust him 100%. I'd just like to know he got there safely! It's also what he'd expect from me.

Really? I always thought it was 'normal' to have daily contact. Seriously, I want to know - is this an aspect of normal relationships that I've never picked up on?

Well when he works away, I'd expect daily contact. If it's a lads weekend - well, I think I may be asking for the impossible.
That said, if it were me, I know I would contact him each day.

Hmm - if DS was ill and DH went away even for a night I'd expect a call asking how DS was, if nothing else! When DS and I went back to England for 3 weeks we didn't speak every day but most days we managed it - I would not have been happy about it otherwise.

I think it is pretty poor form of your DH not to call to check on your and your DD's state of health, tbh.

There's nothing 'wrong' with being in regular contact, if that's what you want. My DP has a really stressful job, works long hours and spends a lot of time looking after his elderly mum when he's not working, so I figure that when he goes away, he needs a complete break from everyday life (including me and the kids!)

I would want to be with someone who thought daily contact was the norm.

When dh works away, he calls me every evening or we'll speak via Skype if longer trips. He doesn't do "lads weekends", so I can't comment on that. If he did, I would think it was odd if he didn't check on an ill child though - mind you, I don't think he would have gone. What works for my relationship would/might obviously not for you though, so not really comparable.

fair enough molesworth but wouldn't you prefer him to check in that everything was ok if you or the DC were ill?

thumbschick - I think that's the main issue - dd really wasn't well, and I wouldn't expect him not to go as only take one to look after her. But a cursory phone call or even a text would be nice.

The longer I sit here, the angrier I get!

Thanks I thought I was about to find out I am clingy after all!!

OP, I guess he knows you'll find out he's okay via FB. It would have been nice to check up on you & DS though.

Oh my God - no no no no.
I've been back on Facebook.
Someone's tagged him in a photo with two women. He's being mock 'touched up' by one woman, and the other straddling his thigh! I think I'm going to be sick.

He doesn't work away from home so I am only talking about holidays in our case. If I or the DCs were ill with anything more than run of the mill ailments, I doubt he'd go away in the first place. I'm certainly not saying that what suits us would or should suit everyone, just answering the OP's question because I didn't want her post to go unanswered.

Maybe a potential reason why he's not contacting? What do I do?

Is this what men do when they're drunk and on lads weekends? I don't think I want to be with a man who does anyway. I felt something was wrong.

niiiiice.
for you
I'd be thinking of ways to punish him about now, not sure I'd carry any of them out, but I'd be thinking of them.

Arsehole. A really totally unclassy arsehole.
Now I'm wondering if my trust is misplaced!
My imagination is running riot.
He tells me 'what happens on tour stays on tour' - not with facebook it doesn't!

Is he 15??

I wouldn't necessarily expect contact every day while on a weekend jolly but DH probably would. However if DH was finding time to post stuff on Facebook then I would expect that he could find time to call me.

If someone posted that picture on FB perhaps it was just "fun". But I wouldn't like it and would worry that I'd managed to pick someone who wanted to go on weekends like that

Uhm, sorry, uncalled for. He's being an arse. I wouldn't like it. Obviously.

No, 31. An extraordinarly drunk 31.
It's totally out of character.
I don't really know how to take it. It doesn't mean anything happened if it's just a pose. However if I was just in that sort of 'pose' he'd be spitting feathers.
Do people really get THAT drunk?
Maybe he just wants to pretend he's single again.

Not sure I would trust with someone who says 'what happens on tour stays on tour'.