to grow old alone?

[ancientbutstillgorgeous]

After a lifetime of unfulfilling and/or drama-filled relationships
I find myself single in my early 50s. I have a teenage daughter, good friends and family, lots of interests and am financially independent.

After my last relationship ended badly a few months ago I decided to stop looking for love; I told myself it was time to fully embrace being single and I'm pleased to say that for the first time in my life I have discovered a deep sense of peace and contentment. I can actually see myself growing old alone. Anyone feel the same?

well I live in hope!

would like to always have friends and animals for company though

Yes and I am almost 39, the thought makes me feel quite calm and contented

Yes, I forgot about animals, one cat at the moment but can see myself having more. Are you two both single?

Hmmm I have an on off DP, who is lovely but annoying, luckily he lives and works away, I am happier when its "off", but he has his uses

There's inspiration!
I am 41 and have so had enough of the unfulfilling ,drama stuff.
I still hope I might find love and companionship,though and have to admit to fearing that I never will.
I am resolved not to until all dc's 18 now -will be giving birth in 3 wks to dc5 so shall aspire to the peace and contentment you describe ,and keep an eye on this thread.
Thank you for sharing!

I will be 37 in july and after the birth of my DS2 3 years ago and being left high and dry by his father shortly thereafter, i decided that the only men in my life would be DS1 and DS2.

Very happy having the remote control to myself, the bed all to myself (other than when DS1 and DS2 decided to climb in for a cuddle) and a large circle of friends to amuse myself with. Who needs a man?!!! lol

Outnumbered I too have had a life full of drama and crap blokes. I went through this phase once before when I was 34 - was single and very content for four years then met another one of 'em, whom I married.

He was the last and final disaster for me.

I am 46 now and have a ds aged 2. His father nowhere on the scene. he left nearly two years ago.

Now I am over the trauma, I cannot imagine ever being with a man again and I honestly don't give a sod about it.

There are drawbacks to being/growing old being single obviously (wracks brain) - finances or lack of being the main one. Also, turning the mattress, balancing the christmas tree straight, always having to polish off a bottle of wine, eating a whole bag of nuts instead of half, being ripped off by tyre people and eyed up by builders..

But overall I would not swap it now. I have a low sex drive thank god. Plus I am cooking up loads of things and learning that I actually can cook (he was the major 'brilliant' chef ) Ds can have scrambled eggs and angel delight three days in a row.

I just see so many advantages to being alone.

I have good friends, I can stay up late and fall asleep on the floor dribbling without him telling me I am a lazy drunk, I can have the heated blanket on high, I have ds all to myself for kissing, no horrid loud farting going on in the house, no step-children dramas ( miss them though) and god-awful ex-p of his to deal with anymore, no rows and silences, no fear of going on holiday with him (disastrous every time) and crikey the list goes on and on.

I am going to Morocco with friends and ds in a few weeks time. I clean houses without feeling I might be compromising his ego or reputation in doing so, I can wear what I like, my hair is long and scraggly, I can watch eastenders without him moaning, I organise piss-ups with friends knowing they are going to be fun, I like myself a bit more than I used to, I can eat digestives and skips. the dogs can poo on a towel in the kitchen without him wretching at the sight,

I don't miss seeing him scrubbing his spooty bottom

I don't miss the smells he made

I don't have to be concerned that he had no friends

I don't have to be ashamed that he was a liar a cheat and a fraud...because he simply isn't here which says it all.

I suffer from bad nightmares and am very scared about money but am certainly not going to think that another man will solve either of those problems anytime soon.

Oh yes and afraid of getting a terminal illness/dementia/baby dying. But christ, he nearly killed me anyway and I am still here so I repeat - another man/schmann? As dd would say 'nofanks'

Bit of a triumphant ramble.

rofl at spooty bottom

well most people end up alone in the end
I feel prepared for it, whereas it must be a devastating shock to lose someone and be on your own after a long relationship
I like being single
not so sure about getting old tho
a trip to morocco with ds sound fantastic ua
i always think of dc as stopping me from travelling but you have made me think again
is pricier and more exhausting of course - but i think ds would get a lot out of a trip like that

I am currently facing this and, quite happily too.

I am 45, 3 dc, been married for 16 yrs, some of it happily till the tw*t decided a 29 yr old was more fun.

I enjoy having the bed/tv/wine to myself.

I do miss one thing though - someone to take out the recycling/compost - god, I hate doing that! Says something when that is all I miss.

Btw unlikelyamazonian, your ds is just adorable

ninah we are flying in and out at outrageous times and the flights are therefore dirt cheap.

Staying somewhere not expensive. Only going for 8 nights. I am scared but thrilled. We can do these things on our own. It just takes practise!

I did that at 37. 3 years on I don't feel there's anything wrong with me (apart from having two kids and no money), but it would be hard to be in that looking frame of mind, and it would be hard even if I were looking to find somebody. Perhaps somebody might come to me, but I doubt it. That sounds glummer than it is in reality. I feel content and strong now. In the same way as a married woman wouldn't jeopardise her marriage by entertaining thoughts of an affair, I wouldn't risk my present contentment by going off on a futile man-hunt. SIngle gets bad press. I read threads and PITY the women who put up with nonsense when they could be single. They are missing out.

god yes, wheeling the bloody great green bin out the front door and down the steps - what a pain in the arse.

I managed a ceasarean though and that was a bit worse so think I can manage it

ua hats off to you, hope for a full report
my ex has cut down the time he has dc and you've helped me see this in a positive light by concentrating on the things I can do with them, not the things I can't without them iyswim

Evening maggie

You wrote "In the same way as a married woman wouldn't jeopardise her marriage by entertaining thoughts of an affair, I wouldn't risk my present contentment by going off on a futile man-hunt. "

exactly. Well written!

I assembled some furniture a couple of weeks ago now, and my son said I'm proud of you mum! (he's four). I was on a furniture building high. I'm glad that I'm stretching out my boundaries a bit. If, in a parallel universe, I'd been happily married, I would have been that woman who didn't change lightbulbs.

thanks! I was trying to explain to a married friend why i didn't join match.com and I don't think she really appreciated my analogy, but in the moment I said it, I thought, YES. That's why I don't bother 'hunting'.

I don't mind the bins, mine stay down there all week and i just add when I am going past
the only thing that pisses me off mildly is changing lightbulbs
and having to wait for aaages for little jobs like lifting boxes into the loft, which are too heavy for a one person job
and i am bad at diy
and car stuff
my life is def my own tho, and that's the way I like it, I can't think of any major drawbacks at all
this thread has cheered me up no end actually, cheers op

lol maggie xposted there about the lightbulbs

and I am on match but in a very passive and apathetic 'there but for the grace of god' kind of way lol

I have two lamps in my bedroom sans bulbs at the moment. It's the getting round to it I find weird about the bulbs thing.

My ex-H was shit at DIY anyway. It is just another of those skills we will have to {ahem} aquire - all in ghood time girls.

lets go to North Africa first.

nails later

If you want to be put off dating for life, sign up to Plenty of Fish.

I mean, would you?

I am 45 and have never been married, nor lived with a man (or woman) in a romantic couple-relationship fashion.

Every day, pretty much, I havea little grin about how lucky I am. My DS' dad isn't my partner and wasn't when DS was concieved, and neither he nor I have any romantic feelings about each other. We get on well as co-parents, he comes over twice a week at least to see DS and look after him while I work or go out to play but I don't have to have him living here, pick up after him or anything. WHile I give him a meal sometimes, it's cooking for a friend the way I would cook for any mate who happened to be around at a mealtime. If I want a shag, I can go to a swingers' club and find a friendly, uncomplicated safe one. Singledom is great.

You can learn to do the DIY. I always did my own decorating, plug changing, working out why things had stopped working etc. I used to service my own motorbikes and I now still top up the car fluids and check the tyres. I can also read maps!
I don't decorate anymore(though I need to)because my health wont lend me the energy, but I know I can if I want or need to, it would just take me much longer...
I also put my own rubbish out .

I'm on my own right now and feeling Ok about it, but I would like a man in my life ~ I'm just not hunting.
I've spent years on my own before and felt really lonely, but I don't at the moment ~ most of the time...
I went on one of those Sun holidays in October 08; just me and the Dc's and I absolutely hated it, so I think I'd avoid doing that again.
For now though, it's just me on my own and it's Ok for now.